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 Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2009 11:14 pm
All previous critiques have been taken into account, I believe, so any new ideas, thoughts and critiques are welcome and appreciated. If I've missed something from a previous critique, I'm very sorry, and please let me know.
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Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 1:36 am
Oooh, change of name, hm?
I like it!
I like the new additions, it really gives a better feel to who she is and how she got to where she is now. The revisions on the hobbies, flaws and virtues have really fleshed her out nicely. The only critique I can give is that on a few of your descriptions you seem to go on a small tangent rather than sticking straight on the point. It still gets the lovely gist across though.
Also, on the fuku I LOVE the color combo and that attacks = awesomeness.
You may wish to go into more detail (this is just in my opinion, btw) when describing the different parts of the fuku though. We want to be able to see it the same way you do.
Great job though! I would love to have Karmi get to know Leyna even better. xD
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Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 1:45 am
Never Crazy Oooh, change of name, hm?
I like it!
I like the new additions, it really gives a better feel to who she is and how she got to where she is now. The revisions on the hobbies, flaws and virtues have really fleshed her out nicely. The only critique I can give is that on a few of your descriptions you seem to go on a small tangent rather than sticking straight on the point. It still gets the lovely gist across though.
Also, on the fuku I LOVE the color combo and that attacks = awesomeness.
You may wish to go into more detail (this is just in my opinion, btw) when describing the different parts of the fuku though. We want to be able to see it the same way you do.
Great job though! I would love to have Karmi get to know Leyna even better. xD Thank you for the crit. I'm glad you like the name change, it suits her better I think. I have a bad habit of ranting, or raving, or whatever you want to call it, when I'm trying to stick to a point. In fact, the harder I try to stay on topic, the harder staying on topic becomes, if that makes any sense. I should put more work into the fuku, you're right. I want to put more details into it. I hope someday Karmi and Leyna do get to know each other better!
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Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 6:43 pm
Wanted to drop back by and say I like the updates! C:
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Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 8:50 pm
Never Crazy Wanted to drop back by and say I like the updates! C: Thank you. ^^
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Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 8:56 pm
I believe that my Sailor Senshi quest is ready, as is. Please let me know if it can be accepted.
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Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 9:42 pm
 Calming Voice isn't a virtue, it's a physical attribute. sad
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Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 11:25 pm
I've made a few changes to her virtues, I hope they turn out okay. Does anyone have any advice for me now, or does it look alright?
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Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 11:33 pm
I like the new virtue, but you might want to come up with the challenge to make it complete. C:
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Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 11:36 pm
Never Crazy I like the new virtue, but you might want to come up with the challenge to make it complete. C: You're right, thank you. I keep forgetting about that... let's see.... oh!!
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Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 11:47 pm
There we go, she has a challenge! ^^ Is there anything else that might need to be added before I ask for it to be marked again?
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Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 3:02 pm
I really think you have done a great job with her and in making the traits more than general.
My only thing is the new challenge. When I look at Quasars, I think of sound more than light. Maybe you should do something more along those things...bursting waves or blazing sound?
Can't say much else but good luck!
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