|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Mon Apr 05, 2010 8:00 am
Landon was somewhat correct- Cassius couldn't understand. It wasn't that he didn't take relationships seriously, he just honestly didn't comprehend true romance or feelings like most did. But, when it came to his closest comrades and memories with people, his friends meant everything to him. He was devoted to the people who kept him sane, and even if Landon didn't want to give himself credit, he was doing a similar thing to his good friend as well.
"I'm jealous, it'd be nice to get attached every once in awhile. I've never felt that myself." Yes, he knew that was weird. He was hoping his honesty would lighten the mood up a bit. No one was perfect. Cassius was in control of so many things in his life, but when it came to simple things he was incapable and strange. "It's easy to be hard on oneself but I find that gets too exhausting. We gotta stick with the things we are good at and move on from there." He smiled at Landon and noticed his fellow card player was gaining quite a few cards in his loot.
"You know, you might win. You've got more cards then me so far." He took a sip of his coffee before leaning back in his chair all relaxed-like. He wasn't sure if he should apologize for commenting on Landon's friend before. He couldn't tell if Landon's distress was from the situation or from Cassius' own actions. He supposed the best thing to do was change the topic so Landon didn't have to think about it anymore. "So, do you have any interesting plans for the upcoming summer? I'm so ready for the nice weather.. and for the rain to go away." He needed to plan some weekend getaways soon. Summer was awesome for that sort of thing.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Apr 05, 2010 1:02 pm
What a downer he was being, and the last thing they needed when escaping the rain was to bring the storm clouds inside. Cassius was probably thinking he stepped on a landmine and was backpedaling to get away, but the man remained, though maybe more uncomfortable than before, and worked through it. Ladon silently thanked him for this, and they continued to play. It seemed he was winning, but it was more through luck than any skill. It was a fun game in that it was distracting, but if he had to concentrate on it, he would probably grow tired of it quickly.
It was sort of sad that Cassius, with his romantic history no doubt longer than Ladon’s, did not feel attached in any way. What was it like to effortlessly date without getting tired up in all the emotional ribbons that tugged you this way and that? He would like to know and harness that secret for himself. That wasn’t to say he didn’t pity the blonde. What would happen to him years from now? Didn’t he want that sort of connection? Was it a blessing or a curse not to feel overwhelmed when a certain someone walked into a room?
Curiosity bit him like a nasty mosquito, and he watched Cassius now, flicking the cards. “I don’t have many plans for summer. Go out and maybe go on a hike. I don’t have a car to really travel, and I’m not rich to take some sort of trip.” From the boy’s stylish dress, he seemed he might be able to afford a nice car and was probably popular enough to have it filled with friends. Lucky.
“Is there a reason you don’t feel attached? I mean, you don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to, but just asking.” His eyes dropped back to the cards again, having only risen up as far as Cassius’ nose before falling back down. "Are you sad about that or do you feel better not getting wrapped up in being too attached?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 4:17 pm
"A hike would be fun. There are tons of close places that offer all kinds of camping-things too." He smiled at Landon and was glad to be of friendly assistance for the time being. Cassius truly had no idea that he was helping his new buddy, but he enjoyed moments like this. There was no stress in the conversation and both guys were just talking as if they had all of the time in the world. Even with Landon's next question, Cassius felt no pressure in answering.
"Please, I'd rather you ask away for anything. I got nothing to hide." He put the cards down for a second and looked at the ceiling as if for help. "I guess when I was younger I was so damn attached to my mother, that when she died I was absolutely devastated. My father moved on and found other people but I just couldn't. So, maybe since then I've just been avoiding it?" He glanced and Landon again and brought about a familiar smile to his face. "Sorry, didn't mean to get so deep there. But it's the only reason I can really think of why."
Sure, Cassius was curious sometimes on what it would be like to love somebody and be so close to somebody. But flings never lasted so it seemed odd to put so much effort into them. "I hope that one day I shape up and approach it all differently. So, until then I'm really not sad about it at all. I guess I just keep myself preoccupied and busy to get my mind off it." Did that mean that Cassius was immature? He really had no idea. As of now he'd protected himself for so many years- and that in itself was quite a bit of work but all worth it in the end.
"Like I said, I envy your commitment." He nodded to Landon respectively and picked his cards up again to resume the game. One day he'd get his emotions back together again. But for now, life was fun and easy. "Don't be afraid to feel, or else your turn up really screwed up like me. And as you can see, it's not as fun." He winked at Landon and groaned playfully as he lost to yet another tie of war.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 7:25 pm
No one every envied him before for anything, and it made his attachment feel more like loyalty, admirable even to the point of being proud of it. Of course he should feel that way, but the situation he was in was messy, involving pre-existing boyfriends, uncertainly of where he stood, and the general feeling that e wasn’t worth anyone’s time. For a pretty-boy like Cassius, picking up girls was easy. His height, nice features, and even his hair could send most girls, and even a few guys, throwing themselves into his embrace. If anything, Cassius’ confidence, willingness to be open, and charisma were all things he hoped to achieve one day, even to the point that he might have liked flings. It would certainly some kind of activity to a clean record of absolutely nothing. Love, lust, or just fun. The more he thought about it, the more he was unsure of what he wanted in the end, and the more he reminded himself that this was why he didn’t bother thinking about things like this. It was distracting and it wasn’t like anyone, including himself, had the answers. If someone had, he would have bought that book ages ago.
It was nice to win now that he noticed. “I’m usually not this lucky.” He pointed out, knowing this was all chance. “And I don’t think you’re screwed up. At least you know and aren’t trying to pretend it’s something else. That’s something.” He set another card down, before he took a sip of his hot chocolate. “I’m actually surprised you’re so open for someone you just met. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were lying to me.” Of course, he felt his sincerity was genuine. “At least you have friends to support you when you do get to that point. I hope you do, though. Not trying to sound like some mushy romantic..” Ladon was. Terribly. “ ….but everyone should have that sort of commitment. I'm sure you're mother would have wanted you to be happy." A touchy reference, but it could be inspiring. "I’d hate to think you were just some sleazeball jumping around from bed to bed without any concern for who you were with. You’re not, right?” Even though he wondered about being a loose, carefree person like that, it just never sat right with him.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
