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 Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2011 12:41 am
Lolli McHotpants Akahi smiled, intellectually she knew all of those things but her heart still thudded and made her second guess everything. Then there was the thought of keeping him all to herself, and though she'd never physically do such a thing she liked knowing that for now she was the only one he talked to in such a way. This was a mare that wasn't sure she wanted that to change any time soon. The thought never reached her tongue, however, and she was glad of his question. It gave her something else to talk about... Though it made her brain hurt a little. She'd never had to explain something like this before, much less to a very intelligent adult, and it had her baffled. "Worry is when you get just a little anxious and scared over something." She tried to find a good example, and though it broke her heart, she had one. "Like that moment right before a child is born and the mother double checks the safety of her surroundings and that everything is in order ... That's her being worried about her unborn child."
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Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2011 12:46 am
Thamin The corners of richmons mouth raised a little as Akahi smiled. It felt like a stone was being lifted from him as she did so; one wouldnt smile like so if something was wrong after all. He nodded, soaking in every word the mare said and storing it away to be pondered further later on. "Anxious and scared..." Richmon repeated as Akahi finished, the smile dropping from his face once more. An emotion, it was. He knew of the two emotions she spoke of, and though he had never felt them before he knew full well the effects they had had on the soquili he had seen experiencing them. How could one combine the two though; they were similar and yet opposites. What troubled and saddened Richmon at that moment was the fact that he could associate the emotion with his feeling he had when he thought there was something wrong with Akahi. He dropped his head very low for a moment and stared at the ground, crimson drops falling from his face instead of running down his cheeks as they would normally do. He was loosing himself in this world he realized. He truly was becoming just like every other soquili. Perhaps it was the shock of realizing he had felt another emotion, perhaps it was his constant thought he had been sent to this world with a purpose and emotions were hindering that purpose, or perhaps it was his unyielding discipline kicking back in, but whichever it was it made Richmon want to scream. The feeling welled within him as he thought on it, only growing deeper and stronger as he did so. He was still and silent for a long time as he thought, but then he began to move.
Unconsciously Richmon's gaze darkened as his nose scrunched up and his brow furrowed. Why did He send him there? Richmon's breaths began to deepen. Why was He making him experience this? The muscles in richmon's body began to tense. Why was he so lost and in the dark about it all? In the edge of richmon's view he could see the hooves of the mare beside him, the mare that had triggered this newest emotion (or so he told himself at that moment). In a single swift motion richmon flung his wing from Wrath and used it to shove her away from him as forcefully as he could. She had triggered his worry, it was her fault he felt another emotion. He glared at her for only a moment before raising his gaze to the stars once more. With wings flared he reared, roaring his confusion to the sky. "Do you delight in watching me dwindle from the stallion I once was? Did I anger you so that you punish me like this? By making me feel? What did I ever do to wrong you, to displease you? All I've done I've done because of you! So What did I do to deserve this?!" He fell to his hooves hard, as if he was trying to break the world in two with his front hooves. His breath flared from his nostrils in large white clouds; he continued to stare at the sky. "What? Am I not worthy of an answer?" He shouted up once more before ripping his gaze away and looking to the ground. He closed his eyes, the dark expression ebbing from his face. "Why wont you answer me...." He finally whispered.
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Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2011 12:47 am
Lolli McHotpants It was true that their entire conversation had been fairly quiet. That they were both doing a careful job to listen and understand what the other was saying, so when Richmon got quiet the mare next to him hadn't thought anything of it. All that existed in her head, in the entire whole of that moment, was the fact that she'd just seen him smile. It wasn't big- But it was the first. That fact alone left her content and for a moment more at peace with life then she had felt for a very long time. Replaying the scene of the corners of his mouth moving upwards so slightly in her mind, Akahi realized that more than anything lately she just wanted to know that she'd done well. That by being happy, she was doing what Richmon wanted of her. Sighing very softly as that realization came into focus, she let her entire frame just relax. So when the stallions breathing changed, when his eyes darkened, when his smile dropped-- Akahi hadn't noticed.
As he removed his wing, she felt the cold rush of wind moving in to replace the spaces of where his feathers had kept her warm and then she was flung. Not far, but it was violent and it hurt. Blue eyes turned wide with surprise, then fear, and then narrowed into tiny slits; all in a matter of seconds. Richmon thought of her as Wrath and he had no idea how very close he was to getting to meet the very incarnation of the word. But then he cried out to the darkness and the sky. He yelled and pounded the ground and Akahi feared that he really just might have the power to tear the world apart as he crashed his hooves to the dirt below them. As he shouted in desperation to himself, or his God, or anyone that would listen all anger just dropped away from the mare almost as suddenly as she'd been shoved. The feeling left an empty hole in her stomach that she hadn't realized had been filled to begin with.
Not knowing what to do she wanted to answer him but didn't dare. What would she say to him anyway? He'd always been the one with the answers. As his fit wound to an end, Akahi could feel the tears well up and then spill over onto her cheeks in a flood of wetness that trailed along the sides of her nose. Standing there, she just shook. She couldn't make herself move closer to him. She couldn't comfort her friend. She wasn't a friend at all. All the while, she couldn't make herself flee either. Though she wanted to. For the first time in a long time Akahi felt vulnerable, scared, and betrayed. The blue mare felt lost.
A sob broke free of her throat and she was instantly ashamed. He was going to hear her cry, be disgusted and angry, and before she knew it he was going to take to the skies and she was never going to see him again.
She just knew it.
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Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2011 12:56 am
Thamin The thoughts continued to run through Richmon's mind as he stared at the ground, but he felt as though someone was sucking the very life from him. He the moment before had had so much energy he felt as though he had been about to burst, yet now he felt as though his entire body was made of the heaviest material known. What was happening to him? He was so lost and confused in that instant he almost forgot that Akahi had been with him. All that existed was him and his thoughts... Until the sound of crying reached Richmon's ears. His mind quietened and went blank in that moment, as if his brain could handle no more and just shut off. Slowly he lifted his head to look in Akahi's direction. He gazed at her for a moment, not realizing in his confusion that it was indeed Akahi that was crying. It took a moment for his eyes to focus, for his mind to work again, but when they did he was left even more so confused. Why was she standing so far away, why were tears running down her face? Why...
His eyes began to grow larger out of shock. "What have I done?" He whispered to himself. Before him was his charge, the mare he had taken on to heal and mend, and just when it seemed as though she was finally healed...
He had broken her again. Richmon could feel his wings falling, too heavy now to hold to his sides - it didn't matter if they dropped anyways anymore. At that moment the only thing Richmon could do was gaze at the shaking mare. He wished he could take it all back, wished he could undo the last few moments. The look in the blue mare's eyes was like that of a young child's when frightened. He had done this. "Akahi... I... " Words were failing him. How could one possibly make amends for something such as this? He longed to make everything better, longed to see the fear and hurt wiped from her gaze. But how? What could he do? He took a step closer, hoping, no - praying she wouldn't flee; he knew he must seem like a monster to her in that moment. "I didnt mean... It wasn't you.... I...." His body slumped as he realized the hopelessness of it all. He couldn't think of how because there was no way to make amends. "I'm so sorry..." He managed to whisper before dropping his gaze just a little. "What have i done?"
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Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2011 12:57 am
Lolli McHotpants When he stepped towards her, when he watched her, Akahi just shook more. How did she explain to him that it wasn't his fault? That it HAD been all her-- That she couldn't help him and didn't deserve him ever talking to her again. Shaking her head violently, large clumps of her hair flew loose of the giant beads that bound it and she just kept crying. It was all there, no hiding it anymore. Opening and closing her mouth to say something... To say anything at all to him, she found that there was a large clump in her throat and it felt like she was choking. Trying again and again the words wouldn't come but the tears wouldn't stop until suddenly she could talk again and the sound of her voice came out faster than the water from her eyes. "It was me! You're so hurt and sad and lonely and I don't even know what else and I can't help you! Even now you're saying sorry to me and I don't deserve it and you're going to realize that and- And." And why wasn't he leaving yet?! She didn't want him gone, not at all, but she couldn't understand. It was what she would do. Though, she wasn't. Instead, she took a shaking step closer to Richmon and looked up into glowing eyes with a mixture of fear and longing. "I'm sorry. I'm a terrible friend... Don't- Just don't leave me here ... Even though I must seem disgusting right now."
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Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2011 12:59 am
Thamin Richmons head was spinning now; it was too much, too fast; what was happenng to him? So many questions, so few answers. He wanted toreach out to her, tell her that it wasnt true, that it was all him; but.. He knew it wouldnt do any good. She wouldnt believe him, and if she did he couldnt make amends. His steps were slow, but at that moment it was hard to decide on what to do. He made his way accross the distance to Akahi and stood before her, his nose only an inch or so from her own. He looked down at her - Words failed him; there was nothing he could say, no words could reasure her. He was breaking his own rules, going against his beliefs, but after all that had happened in the last few moments his beliefs seemed obsoleet. He took a half step forward still facing her and rested his head on her neck. He, slowly, lifted each wing and laid them as gently as he could over her back. It was all he could do... He hoped holding her would help; he hoped more than anything for her to be happy again.
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Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2011 1:00 am
Lolli McHotpants Akahi waited. She waited for the moment that he would sneer at her, turn, and leave. For the moment when Richmon would give up on her... There was only so much one stallion could do for a broken mare after all. He was so silent, and though she didn't want him to go Akahi wanted him to at least say something to her. Closing her eyes shut tight to keep out the sight of him flying away and to keep the tears held back, she gasped lightly when she heard his footsteps getting closer. Was he playing with her? He may have been benevolent and patient, but as far as Akahi knew all stallions were the same- Cruel. Her breathing became shallow as her ears twitched in all directions to listen to what Richmon was doing around her but it wasn't hard to tell. He was so close. Opening her eyes, she gave him a look of pure confusion. As his hair, and warmth, and jewelry, and scent filled her every sense when he leaned in to rest his head on her neck a tiny 'o' formed on her face. Akahi felt dizzy and sick to her stomach- But when she focused on the feeling she noticed that it wasn't a bad sick but the kind of ache one got after eating a really fulfilling meal. Breathing out the biggest sigh of relief the blue mare smiled and moved as close to the perplexing and terrifying stallion as she could. Leaning into him she could feel the movement of her face against him as she said two words: "Thank you."
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Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2011 1:02 am
Thamin Richmon could feel her relax as he held her, and though she moved eve closer he did not budge. He could feel her smile, and though the emotions from the last few moments still lingered in his mind and exhaustion was begining to take it's tole on him he could feel the corners of his mout turn up uncontrolably. "No..." Richmon said, giving a slight, gentle squeeze with his wings. "Thank you"
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Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2011 1:04 am
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