RP Thread: The Cast of Naruto Travels the Oregon Trail

[Bizzaro Mikey]

"A hot blue (sometimes black) shirt instead of gay green spandex," Sakura continued to drool over Sasuke.

"God all of this is so retarded, I'm gonna go write my poetry," Sasuke walked off to the wagon.

"OH, poetry, Sasuke-kun, you are truely a god among men."

Kakashi looked at Sasuke, then to Sakura," Um Sakura, I think he's gay."

"NANI??!?!?!?!"

**Inner Sakura: NO ******** WAY, HE'S MINE. I'M GONNA DEFLOWER HIM ON THIS TRIP, BELIEVE IT!**

Kakashi continued, "I mean, he's into poetry, he wears really tight pants, and he's overly fixated on his brother. I mean it all adds up."

Sakura stared at the wagon, while Naruto slowly bled to death.  

[~Raine~Cloud~]

Itachi stood on a rock looking out over the scene around him. A feild of dead bodies marked where he had been. "Well that takes care of everything we need." How typical of Itachi to just kill, pillage and rape for what he wanted, well he had not raped what he wanted yet. "Ahh Sasuke..." He though out loud as a screech came from behind him.

"Zaza!!!!" Haku cried pointing ant the grotesquely mangled dead bodes that Itachi had left. "It scares me!!!!" He screeched again as the tall swordsman cam walking up behind him.

"Haku please, you have done worse..."

"But Zaza it is O.K when I do it. I am prettier..."

Itachi snapped back into reality and then let his hair down out of his ponytail and let it blow in the wind. "I beg to differ."

"He has a point Haku." Zabuza teased his smaller very VERY feminine lover.

"Zabuza!!!!" Haku cried as he looked at the taller male. Tears brimmed in his eyes.

"Oh I was just kidding. I love you."

"I love you too." The two men embraced and then began slowly bringing there lips closer into an embracing very very lust full make out session.

Itachi turned away and rolled his eyes. "******** wana be straight people... ******** if Zabuza really wants a woman so bad why does he..."

"Oi! Itachi, why the hell do you get to make all the orders and kill everyone." A loud voice came form his right.

"Not this again..." Itachi groaned as Orochimaru came up to him and looked him in the eyes.

"I mean come on I am eviler than you!!"

"Is that so??" Itachi replied to the snakes comment.

"Yes, yes it is."

"Well there is one way to determine that. You know that taste you get in your mouth when you drink orange juice right after you brush your teeth?"

"Gah I hate that!!!" Orochimaru gagged and Itachi Laughed!

"I love it!!!" Itachi stood in triumph. "And what do you think about puppies?"

"I love them!" Orochimaru mumbled.

"Ha I kick them!!!" Itachi had now a sinister look on his face. "And that muffin that you are holding and about to eat.."

"No..." Orochimaru said milky as he looked down at the banana nut muffin he had in his hand.

"I DROPPED IT ON THE FLOOR MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA" With that Orochimaru lost it and ran away crying. "Yea that is right you stupid little b***h... yea right eviler than me... ha."


 

[Anryoku]

Gai agreed with Kakashi, "Besides, Sakura-chan... everyone says he takes after Kakashi and we all know he's hiding little boy porn inside the cover sleeves of those steamy straight-sex books in attempt to mask his homosexuality."

The tears stopped flowing from Lee's eyes as he stared at his sensei's lifelong rival. He took out a notebook and rapidly jotted down notes about the man in a notebook.

Gai turned to Lee and punched him in the face screaming, "Don't take notes about Kakashi! He's my rival! You need to worry about beating the hell of of Mr. Predestination over there!" he turned to Sakura, "So you see, Sakura, you're far better off oogling over my cute Lee! He is in the prime of his youth!"  

[Bizzaro Mikey]

"But...but...but his eyebrows, are, like, the size of the universe."

Kakshi rasied an eyebrow, though no one could tell, because it was hidden behind his forehead protector. "The size of the universe? Anyway, well it seems that I'm short one member for my team." A small boy walked by. Kakashi grabbed him and held a kunai to his throat. "What's your name boy?"

The boy looked wide-eyed at him, "Um...Timmy, sir."

"Congradulations Timmy, you're going to Oregon, get in the wagon."

"Um...ok, sir."

Sir? I like that. Sakura from now on, you will call me Sir."

"Of course, Kakashi-sens....I mean sir."  

[Anryoku]

Lee took out the notebook again and began jotting down notes about Kakashi and little boys. Gai shot him a warning glance.

Neji scoffed, "I don't know what he's taking notes for. We all knew Sasuke and Kakashi were gay. It was destiny."

Tenten glared at Neji, "Now you're even starting to annoy me... and I actually have the hots for you. God damn it, you really need to learn when to shut the ******** up! Jesus Christ!"  

[GamerdaGreat]

Ino suddenly appeared out of nowhere and punched the obnoxious Tenten in the face, "JESUS CHRIST! That's my new catchphrase, b***h!"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes, "Women....how troublesome...."  

[Illpixacanth]

"Iruka-sensei, it's hot, and I'm tired, and I'm hungry, and I..." Konohamaru continued to whine on and on and on and on and on. Iruka barely paid attention. He was already frustrated because he had just seen Uchiha Itachi murder half of St. Louis for some basic supplies.

"Where the hell am I supposed to find oxen now. And from the rumors I heard, some fatass ate an entire herd by himself. Must've been Chouji," Iruka continued to swear under his breath.

"Konohamaru-chan, where are we going?" The random girl, who I will now refer to as Betty, asked.

"Orey-gan, or something like that. I have no clue," Konohamaru responded.

"Will there be books?" the nerdy ninja, who I will now refer to as Poindexter, asked.

"Probably, knowing how much I hate them," Konohamaru spat.

"I love books," Poindexter gushed.

"God I have I no idea why I associate myself with you two," Konohamaru almost began to cry.

"Because you alienated everyone else in our class by being an uptight p***k who thought he was the best because his grandpa was Hokage," Betty told him.

"Oh, right."  

[Tears of the fallen]

Anko sat with her legs crossed. She stared over at Tsunade, then moved her gaze to Shizune, then to Mizuki's wife. "Alright what do you got?" she asked the three other girls.

"Two pairs, kings high," said Tsunade.

"Three of a kind, of sevens!" Shizune ********," Tsunade took off her shirt.

"Queen high straight," Mizuki's wife responded.

"God damn!" Shizune took off her pants. Revealing her short shorts. "Geez it's cold."

Anko laughed, "Royal flush, bitches!!"

"s**t," Mizuki's wife took off her coat. "Yeah it is cold."

"Ha ha, I win another round."

"Don't you think we should, get our supplies and get ready to hit the road?" Shizune asked, shivering.

"After one more hand," Anko smiled.  

[Anryoku]

Neji glared at Tenten and stalked off to go find more meat. He turned back and shot an angry look in her direct, murmuring, "You're a failure," in a very threatening tone.

Tenten smirked at him, "That's not what you said last night...."

She watched him retreat with much pleasure, and tossed a few more weapons into Naruto's limp bloody body in celebration.  

[Bizzaro Mikey]

Timmy sat in uncomfortable silence as Sasuke wrote his poetry. Occasionally glancing up at the boy, smiling, then returning to his writing. Sakura joined the two inside. "How's the poem coming Sasuke-kun?"

"Shut up, your voice makes me ill."

"Oh..." Sakura looked at her feet. When Inner Sakura popped up and screamed, "God damn Sasuke, your cold shoulder makes me want you even more!!!!"

Timmy snickered.

Sakura punched him through the side of the wagon. Where he flew and crashed into Kakashi.

"Holy crap, did you just attack me?" Kakashi glared at him.

"No, sir, that crazy girl just puched me through the side of the wagon."

"Oh don't blame this on her, this was your doing!"

"Um....I'm sorry, sir?" Timmy struggled to find the answer that would stop Kakashi from beating the hell out of him.

"Well, as long as your sorry, I'll only make you wrestle ONE bear later."  

[Anryoku]

Gai-sensei smiled and gave his team a thumbs up. Somehow, magically might I add, he had assembled them near their wagon, which was a shade of bright green, to pack for the journey.

"Neji!" he declared, "You shall be our sheep dog. You must circle our herd of 5050 oxen and keep them following the wagon."

Neji nodded and prepared to find a perch on top of the wagon, nakedly doing things that don't follow the Gaia ToS, knowing that at least 5000 of their oxen would surely follow then.  

[Bizzaro Mikey]

Kakashi approached Gai's wagon and looked over to his eternal rival. "Well Gai, are we going to head out soon."

Timmy looked up, hopeful, "Yes, I'm started to be afraid of Sasuke. He keeps looking at me and giggling."

Kakashi ignored the boy and sniffed the air, "Something smells..." he commented offhandedly, looking at Tenten suspiciously.  

[Anryoku]

Tenten subtley sniffed her armpits and gagged. She looked desperately to her sensei. Gai smiled at her, teeth gleaming. He handed her a Speed Stick and a green leotard. Tenten looked horrified.

"Do I have to wear this?" Tenten asked meekly.

Gai smiled at her, "Well, you've been wearing the same outfit for six or seven seasons. I think the change will be good for you. It will show off your curves!" He waggled his eyebrows sexily.

Tenten begrudgingly hid behind the wagon and slid into the leotard, thinking, "Damn... I look rediculous."

Neji silently mocked her from his naked perch atop the wagon.  

[Illpixacanth]

Iruka cursed yet again, "Where are all the oxen around here, and the clothes?"

Konohamaru looked up to his teacher, "Iruka-sensei, why do we need clothes? I mean we've been wearing these for what seems like forever, what's the point in changing now?"

Iruka glared down at Konohamaru, who promptly slunk up against a fence and put up a blanket hiding himself rather well. If the lines on the blanket didn't go horizontal as opposed to vertical as were on the fence.

Poindexter walked up and poked the blanket where Konohamaru's head was.

"AHHH!!! MY EYE!!!!!"

"Konohamaru-chan, that disguise sucked," Betty told him.

"No it didn't, it was fool proof," Konohamaru continued to hold his injured eye.

"No, it wasn't, and luckily we had our resident fool testing it, thank you Konohamaru for showing us, just how much you suck," Iruka stopped yelling at Konohamaru and looked up. Up farther ahead he noticed Chouji was sitting back eating whole oxen. "Oh dear Christ! Well come on failures, let's go join up with the other teams, then I can join you in failure with how little I could find for our journey."

"Don't worry Iruka-sensei," Poindexter smiled helpfully. "You'll always be the King Loser to us!"

Iruka kicked poindexter.