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 Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2013 11:09 pm
Dear all,
back after nearly a year, and kept thinking about Lunaria every couple of weeks throughout that entire time. Yes, that's the sole reason I got back on Gaia.
So, I tried to improve Chan's profile before my Gaia hiautus, but could someone look over the updates and give me a refresher of what needs to be done still to get her approved and move forward?
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Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2013 6:39 pm
HELLO AGAIN. It looks like you really improved a lot of the bits I found maybe less clear the first time around! Also welcome back, and I'm so sorry it took me so long to reply to you! It's really my bad OTL
Very nicely detailed Devout trait! Good job.
Thoughtful is also much more detailed, you're on a roll! I really appreciate that you tempered it with the stipulation that she has to actually know what might be the cause of their troubles, instead of knowing without the other player's permission; hooray!
Empathetic is nice too, I was a little confused by the questions at the end, though! Perhaps instead of the questions, if you feel that the trait needs to refer to Opinionated for futher clarification you can just say "Her Empathy mixes with her Opinionated trait to give her a sense of how she knows what's best for others in their time of need? Rephrase it, obvs, but just find a simple way to say "These two traits affect one another." o uo!
Lazy: AWESOME, a flaw! You listened well <3 Written solidly.
Proud: Wow, also fantastic! She has grown a lot since I first read the quest; I'm proud of your work! I feel like you did a really good job at developing her this time around.
Opinionated totally fits the other traits well, good job! I'm glad that her religious devotion comes out in her Opinionated trait.
About her history, I essentially have only one comment: it says that she would benefit from living with a noble family, but you might want to swap out 'noble' for 'wealthy' or for some indication of a stable and somewhat influential family with, idk, a rich bloodline or something-- the reason I reccomend the swap is because later it says that she was exposed to the concept of devotion to the Emperor, which is the opposite of what one would think if she was raised by a Noble family, a term which could be confused for the noun "noble" which would be fine outside of Lunaria but gets tricky here xD
YAY LIVING SOUL CONDUIT!! Super excited for that! So... basically, WELCOME BACK, no complaints, just that one question about the word "noble" in her history!
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Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2013 6:16 am
Face your demons HELLO AGAIN. It looks like you really improved a lot of the bits I found maybe less clear the first time around! Also welcome back, and I'm so sorry it took me so long to reply to you! It's really my bad OTL
Very nicely detailed Devout trait! Good job.
Thoughtful is also much more detailed, you're on a roll! I really appreciate that you tempered it with the stipulation that she has to actually know what might be the cause of their troubles, instead of knowing without the other player's permission; hooray!
Empathetic is nice too, I was a little confused by the questions at the end, though! Perhaps instead of the questions, if you feel that the trait needs to refer to Opinionated for futher clarification you can just say "Her Empathy mixes with her Opinionated trait to give her a sense of how she knows what's best for others in their time of need? Rephrase it, obvs, but just find a simple way to say "These two traits affect one another." o uo!
Lazy: AWESOME, a flaw! You listened well <3 Written solidly.
Proud: Wow, also fantastic! She has grown a lot since I first read the quest; I'm proud of your work! I feel like you did a really good job at developing her this time around.
Opinionated totally fits the other traits well, good job! I'm glad that her religious devotion comes out in her Opinionated trait.
About her history, I essentially have only one comment: it says that she would benefit from living with a noble family, but you might want to swap out 'noble' for 'wealthy' or for some indication of a stable and somewhat influential family with, idk, a rich bloodline or something-- the reason I reccomend the swap is because later it says that she was exposed to the concept of devotion to the Emperor, which is the opposite of what one would think if she was raised by a Noble family, a term which could be confused for the noun "noble" which would be fine outside of Lunaria but gets tricky here xD
YAY LIVING SOUL CONDUIT!! Super excited for that! So... basically, WELCOME BACK, no complaints, just that one question about the word "noble" in her history! Wonderful feedback, thank you. Thanks for taking the time to look it over. Will integrate your suggestions as soon as I can, and then--fingers crossed--marking!
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Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2016 8:11 pm
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