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 Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2012 12:06 pm
The soft nuzzling would normally be met with response, normally given a pet or some kind of acknowledgement. Normally. Now it just felt like this owl was a figment of his imagination, created by his inner most desire to hang onto what little life he had within him.
"I don't have a reason to exist for myself. Not anymore." He murmured solemnly, "I used to... I had a dream.. goals.. but it's been made violently obvious to me that I'll never attain those."
"I couldn't be there.. I couldn't be there for my friends."
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Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2012 12:20 pm
"If dreams and goals were easy to attain then they wouldn't be dreams or goals," she said matter-of-factly. "The only reason why you will never attain any of them is because you give them up and you did not take the opportunities offered to you with your own two hands." The Owl seemed to know when to be a little tough as she nudged at him again trying to get him to be more lively.
At his partial admittance to failure she kind of fell silent, "Then try harder," was the simple advice. "Nothing is a bigger betrayal than just giving up on them even if you couldn't do anything for them during their time of need."
The knocking was still looming closer.
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Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2012 12:25 pm
"But I did try." He insisted miserably, his voice wavering. "I've been giving it all I can. I'm tired. I'm tired of feeling like I'm being trampled into the mud. I can't do it anymore.."
Mot turned away from the helpful owl, burying his face in his pillow. The knocking that was closing in began echoing in his head painfully. "I can't try harder. I can't!"
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Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2012 12:37 pm
At this point she climbed onto Mot's person basically not letting him have any personal space now as she perched with her talons carefully gripping at bits of cloth he wore so she didn't harm him and she didn't fall off, "Now listen, Mot, just because you fail does not mean you give up. Would your friends give up on you? Would they just stop trying to help you? No. They would try to improve themselves so they can help you more in the future. Being tired is not an excuse it is just giving up," she was an insistent little creature.
"Don't give up. Don't give in. If you do then the bad things will win. We do not let bad things win!" She was now motivationally speaking from the depths of her gizzard.
"Get up, try harder, get better, try even harder, that is what life is, isn't it? You fail you try again!" She wasn't even going to mention that he could give up when he's dead that seemed like a bad idea.
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Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2012 12:43 pm
Why?
Why did his friends, and this stranger, insist on making him keep going? He core rumbled like thunder, his eyes burning all over again. He didn't want to keep going. He wanted to let the bad things win. He was tired of being good, of being nice, of trying to better himself. What was the point anymore?
Why wouldn't anyone let him dissolve?
"B-but.. I don't know how.." His voice quaked with frustration, his eyes wet with the threat of more tears. "I'm lost."
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Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2012 1:07 pm
"Then find out how, let people help you. Ask for help. Do everything you need to do," she was now climbing around on his torso making him aware of her weight making him have to deal with reality. Making him have to deal with her. It was probably the influence of her Reaper that she was this stubborn and insistent to not let others give up.
At this point she climbed down seeking to peek at his face, "Mister Mot," she said simply to get his attention and to get him to look at her, "It is...okay to be tired. It is okay to be sad but you must pick up and carry on. Those that love you don't want to see you give up. They want you to succeed. The only person you should ever measure up to is yourself."
This was almost similar to the heartbreak Kettil went through with his first crush. Ugh. Ugly times.
All of the ugly times.
Speaking of Kettil there was a knock and a desperate voice, "Hey? Uh, do you have an owl in there?"
...Very eloquent Kettil.
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Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2012 1:13 pm
Ask for help. He'd done that. He asked Shun at one point, and he pushed his body beyond it's capacity. Hel always tried to help him, no matter his problem. His friends would be there. They would always try for him. His friends were the only thing that kept him at Amity anymore.
His face lifted from the pillow as he felt the owl leave his body and stare at him. His eyes were red, his cheeks red. He mouth pulled down a frustrated frown. Use himself as a thing to measure up to? But...
The vice on the other side of the door startled the cowboil. He sniffled, wiping his face with his hands in a desperate attempt to make himself presentable. "Oh-um.. yes. Yeah.." Mot finally pulled himself up into a sitting position, and transitioned that to standing up. He still felt heavy, and moving anywhere felt like a whole new shore. The reaper moved to the doorway, sniffling again and rubbing his nose on his sleeve.
He opened the door.
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Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2012 1:20 pm
The frustrated frown was no stranger to Endzela and she just stared back at him in that sort of patient way that Owls have when trying to get something through to others. When the knock came and Mot began to move Endzela followed by hopping onto the floor and waddling behind him like a small puppy because she simply did not feel like flying at the moment. She stood by the Cowboil's legs and stared up at her Reaper (OvO)!
Kettil hadn't looked down yet as the door was open but he was looking high for her expecting her to be on a upper perch, "I thought she was here," he murmured his expression going from hopeful to sad within a matter of moments.
Endzela shifted and hid a bit behind Mot's legs.
Owl be trollin'.
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Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2012 1:23 pm
Mot furrowed his brows at the other reaper, wondering if maybe he didn't see her. "She is, she's over--..." Mot turned to the bed, only to find it void of any owl. However, the feathers still littered the room from when she first came in.
"Where did she go.." He asked himself more than Kettil, his voice still sore and raw.
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Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2012 1:59 pm
Kettil stared around for a long moment almost about to give up and apologize for taking up the other Reaper's time until he heard a giggle that he recognized making him peer down and a bit around the thinner figure until he saw the Owl staring up at them all innocently.
The Muut's face went from sad to cheerful again as he knelt and let her hop up into his arms ignoring the piercing talons when it scraped on skin, "Ahh geeze, ghoulie y'gave me a scare." He rubbed the Owl's chest gently as he glanced over at the other Reaper with an expression that briefly seemed a little concerned, "Thanks for puttin' up with her, hope she wasn't too much of a bother."
She stared up at them, "I am never a bother, I was trying to motivate him to keep going," she huffed.
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Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2012 2:11 pm
Oh, she was trolling.
Mot watched the reaper interact with his beloved familiar with mild and calm interest, sniffling now and then. He shook his head, his expression still solem. "Not at all.. she was.. helpful." He said with a sift nod.
"Good company."
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Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2012 2:18 pm
"Aw, she was? That's my good ghoul," he cooed down at her with a bit of a grin letting her shift about to where she could climb onto his shoulder again ignoring a lot of the pain that went with her talons digging into skin, "Name's Kettil," he said as he offered a hand. He'd noticed the sniffling and the sad air about the other Reaper. Perhaps it wasn't his business but maybe....
....Kettil took a gamble, "Want to come out t'lunch with me or somethin'? Y'know to repay ya for takin' such good care of m'familiar," he beamed cheerfully.
Naturally there was a chance the other Reaper would tell him to buzz off but a Muut always repaid their debts. One way or the other. (*A*)....
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Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2012 2:28 pm
Mot nodded solemnly and shook the other reaper's hand, although his grip was loose and weak. "Mot." He offered back.
The offer was mulled over thoughtfully, his shoulders sagging lower. "I appreciate it.. but I won't be lively company." He replied softly, his gaze drooping and eyes lidding. "It really was no trouble.."
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Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2012 2:34 pm
"Pleased t'meet ya," he said grinning slightly as he shook hands and then released the hand. Kettil paused for a moment or two as he stared at the figure before him. Jack, did he ever look beat down and dragged out. He made a bit of a humming sound as he stared at Mot trying to figure out how to word the offer to where it wasn't him forcing the other out or something. Kettil didn't really want the other boil to feel resentment on top of what he was already feeling at this time - whatever it might be.
"Ah, well I am lively enough for the both of us!" For some reason it seemed like a bad idea to leave the boil in his current state, "We don't even gotta go to lunch we can just hang out get some fresh air y'know? Adventure a bit."
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Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2012 2:38 pm
Mot knew being by himself would be unhealthy in his current state. It was part of the reason he was so miserable. So he finally relented, nodding with uncertainty. "Okay.. let me just get something."
Mot walked back to his bed, scooping up Heimdal and setting the sleeping poof in his belt's pouch. He was assigned as babysitter and he would make sure he did his job. He then slipped on one of his extra pairs of boots and returned to Kettil. "Um.. lead the way."
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