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[Q]Jessie Haze II Pompeii Knight of Saturn [Crits?] Goto Page: [] [<] 1 2

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Kyuseisha no Hikari

Crew

Dragonslaying Dragon

PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 7:03 pm


Fiction1119


I think she is very, very close, Fiction!

I think the Mirror, Mirror trait looks better; I can see how it would make her frustrating to argue with, and how it could have a negative affect on her own life even though she's really only trying to do the right thing.

For her magic, I just have a few things to clarify! For example, when you say 'it will bind to the nearest item', does this mean that it could bind someone to, say, a light pole? Ie, if the shawl wraps around their wrist and the nearest item is a light pole, could it tie them to that (or would it really mostly only be like binding the arm to the body?) And what if she happened to wrap the shawl around someone's head? Would they still be able to breathe/would there be any pain or would it just be like your friend had dropped a blanket over your head so you couldn't see?

For her knight magic, with the sensation of the appendage being wrapped in chains, what would you say are secondary effects of this? IE, "the appendage may feel excessively sore or be hard to move while the afghan is touching it". And, in the case of it wrapping around someone's torso—would it make them feel like they have a heavy weight on their chest and make it a little harder to breathe? Or if it was on the head, maybe it would be akin to a headache with the tight pressure on their head? All of the effects would leave when the magic isn't being channeled, but they were just kind of things I was curious about! As long as no real damage/no lingering damage is done, I think this works well since it is the sensation of heavy chains and not really heavy chains.

Anyway, if you can just answer those for me and maybe include what effects 'heavy chains' include, I think she'll be ready for a trial stamp!
PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 6:53 am


Kyuseisha no Hikari


i think the wording is right but not sure if it is ^^'

love all your help by the way

Fiction1119

Original Lunatic



Kyuseisha no Hikari

Crew

Dragonslaying Dragon

PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2013 5:31 pm


Fiction1119


That wording looks awesome to me! I'm really happy to have gotten to work on her profile with you! Unfortunately, I don't think there's much more I can do here! I'm going to leave a trial stamp and a GM will be in for the final verdict. Good luck getting her!

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 8:11 am


Great job working together to get this gal ready! You're ACCEPTED

Iris_virus

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