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 Posted: Wed Dec 04, 2013 8:20 pm
Sebastian frowned deeply at his friend’s words. “Don’t speak like that,” he told him, holding him tighter. “Don’t you dare speak like that…” He took deep breaths, trying to calm himself down a bit. “You had nothing to do with it, Ciel. Master Phan… Your father had been having health issues for quite some time. He wouldn’t want you blaming yourself for this. You know he wouldn’t.” He sat with him for a while, both eventually calming down, then they sat there a little longer, letting the rain pour down upon them.
“We should probably be heading inside, Ciel,” he told him gently. “Nothing will come of sitting by his grave and wasting your own life away,” he told him, not moving to let him go still, but loosening his grip only slightly. “You are in need of a bath after the cold rain. I’ll run you some hot water when we get inside. It should make you feel a bit better.” He hugged him tightly one last time and mumbled, “I’ve missed you,” before loosening his grip some more and rising slowly to his feet, drenched now. He held out a hand to Ciel, frowning a bit when he noticed the small heir not looking up at him. “Is something else wrong?”
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Posted: Wed Dec 04, 2013 10:33 pm
Ciel shook his head against Sebastian’s chest. He didn’t deserve to have Sebastian being nice to him. The younger teen male grew quiet though. Deep down, Ciel didn’t want Sebastian to know his inner troubles and pain. Deep down, Ciel never wanted Sebastian to find out what happened to him. That way when the whole world forsook him, Sebastian would still be there with him, ready to help him pick up the pieces of his broken life. Eventually, the tears stop flowing and the rain calmed down to a gentle shower. The heartbreak and tragedy was still there, but Ciel had no more tears to cry. He felt empty like he was just a shell of the person he had spent growing while he was at the university. Hell, he wasn’t even the person he was when he left for college. He barely felt human at the moment.
Ciel nodded hollowly as Sebastian told him they needed to go inside. Ciel felt like they should have buried him with his father… he didn’t feel like he could go on living without his father, but he knew that Sebastian would never let him do something as shameful as killing himself. Ciel’s mouth stretched a little as Ciel yawned still hugging Sebastian as he advised Ciel on his health. His eyes snapped open though at the last comment Sebastian said before pulling away from the hug. It hadn’t even clicked to Ciel in his emotional state that, this was his first time seeing Sebastian since he got back… “…Sebastian... I… I really missed you too.” He spoke softly thinking a moment about some of the letters they shared between each other. It just broke his heart more that he was back at home and couldn’t even enjoy it… How was he supposed to just go on pretending and living in a house that his parents were practically immortalized by? Even Sebastian reminded him of his parents, Sebastian after all was hired by them to be Ciel’s personal aid in his earlier years.
Ciel paused another moment longer before took Sebastian’s hand cautiously still making a point to look down and away from his best friend… He couldn’t look at Sebastian with his cursed eye… he couldn’t have it fill his head with lies and slander about the only good person in his life anymore. Yeah, he had Elizabeth, but she wasn’t a companion, she was an unwanted necessity, unfortunately. Ciel and Elizabeth had been arranged to be married since they were still toddlers, growing up with someone like that didn’t exactly create a blooming love for her in Ciel’s book. If Ciel was honest with himself, he really thought of her as more of a sister than a future wife.
Ciel startled slightly at the question from Sebastian knocking him out of his thoughts again. “… I guess you can say that I just have a lot on my plate right now…” He mumbled a little starting to speed up as he walked back towards the house. He had a limp and he didn’t exactly have more strength than when he stumbled out here, so walking upright and perfectly was out of the question for Ciel right now.
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UnDeadReaper95 Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Dec 05, 2013 12:50 pm
Sebastian smiled a little when Ciel told him he missed him as well. At least he was brought back to this world and out of his depression for a second… He helped his friend up easily and began walking with him slowly back to the estate. He was silent for a moment before he said, “I was kind of afraid you didn’t miss me. I wrote you, but I never received an answer,” he admitted to him quietly. He was silent a little longer before adding, “I see you took the bandages off of your head. We’ll replace those after your bath. I can just leave the bandages in the bathroom for you if you wish to do it yourself… I...I changed them when you got here.” He glanced down at Ciel to gauge his reaction to his words. “No one else saw, I made sure. Not even Elizabeth and her nosy self,” he told him, ending the statement on a dark note when he mentioned Elizabeth. “I’m not going to ask you about it. I’m curious and worried, but I’m not going to ask. I do not believe I particularly have a right to know all of your business,” he explained to try and ease Ciel’s mind about the whole business.
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Posted: Fri Dec 06, 2013 8:45 am
Ciel frowned softly hearing that Sebastian had sent him a letter than he never received. "If I received it than I tried my best to send one back as fast as possible. You know the postal system isn't exactly reliable..." Ciel spoke up in his defense. His mind flashing back to train station when he was taken. He had almost made it home, all he needed to do was get on a carriage and then he would have been home... but of course, he never made it to the carriage... "The last one I got must have been around eight or nine so ago?" Ciel mumbled trying to think of dates. Everything blurred together except for the torment that had offset his life so much. Ciel wasn't even sure how long he had spent captured... just that if felt like a life-time. If he was able to look at his journal and today's date, he probably directly find out, but other than that, his brain couldn't process the time spent in that hell. Days felt like weeks, weeks felt like months... Ciel's body started to shake at the thought of his suffering. If Sebastian hadn't spoken up when he did, Ciel probably would have broken down again.
"... Thank you for your patience with me... to be honest, if I knew from the beginning that I was going to make it out of the ordeal alive, I would have never.. well obviously you saw. Now looking back on it... maybe I should have just let myself die back there. You are the only thing I have left in his world that I actually care about... and I can't even get up to the courage to look at you." Ciel admitted to the other as he hung his face lower staring at the ground in front of him. As they re-entered the estate, Ciel's low hanging hair covered most his face so his self-mutilation was hidden, but it didn't take a genius to know that Ciel was messed up pretty bad. He couldn't walked by himself; Sebastian was practically carrying him.... It wasn't until they had gotten back into Ciel's room that Elizabeth came running up to Ciel. In his emotional state, he didn't even see her coming... and she was in his face within seconds.
The long blonde haired girl stumbled back with a scream though seeing Ciel's face. She was going to give him a kiss on the cheek, but what she found she didn't believe was Ciel's real face. "C-Ciel... Your face.. your eyes... your eyes are two different colors..."She muttered in shock as Ciel immediately pushed her way. Luckily she hadn't gotten a good enough look at both his eyes to see the curse mark in his eyes, all she was able to see was the color difference. "Don't you think I realize?! Get out of my room." Ciel yelled back at her, unable to control his temper for a moment. With another deep breath Ciel brushed off not only Elizabeth, but Sebastian too. "I'm going to run my own bath, I just want to be alone." He informed the two before walking into his bathroom and slamming the door shut. Elizabeth still had the stupefied look on his face when the door clicked to announce that Ciel had locked himself in the room. "..I-I.."She couldn't find the words as she stood there the image of Ciel's face burned into her memory.
Ciel moved over to the tub, turning on the hot water before he sat down next to the tub on the floor. He curled himself into a ball sitting up and hugged himself. He was shivering and he was soaking wet, but the cold wasn't what was bothering him. Elizabeth's scene had just confirmed everything he thought was going to happen. No one was going to accept him now, whether they saw part of his face or his whole face. He wasn't Ciel to them anymore, and he couldn't pretend either. Back in the graveyard, he thought that he had no tears left, but he soon found that he was wrong.
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UnDeadReaper95 Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Dec 07, 2013 12:23 am
Sebastian frowned deeply as Ciel shut himself away. He stared at the bathroom door for a moment before looking down at Elizabeth, who seemed torn between worry, confusion and slightly disgusted. “Miss Elizabeth,” he said softly, leaning down to her eye level. “Miss Elizabeth, I believe Master Phantomhive needs a break for maybe a few days just to get his head straight. Would you mind going home just for a week or so until his distress dissipates?” he inquired, hand touching her shoulder gently. She seemed concerned for Ciel, but at the same time she just seemed lost. Ciel didn’t seem like the person she expected him to be--like he used to be--and it confused her. “I think it’s best for you as well, just to calm down a bit. I’ll be sure to watch over him for you while you’re away, but I think he could just use a little space right now. So much has happened, and I believe he’s finding it difficult to handle. He just needs some time to think,” he tried to explain to her, looking at her almost desperately, but keeping his collected facade at the same time. Honestly, as soon as he could get Elizabeth to leave, he was going to go in and check on him. The words he said earlier were swirling through his head in a cloud of worry. ”Maybe I should have just let myself die back there.” he had said… Come on, Ciel. Don’t do anything rash, he pleaded silently, not letting the immense amount of worry show on his face.
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Posted: Sat Dec 07, 2013 11:21 am
Elizabeth, in her confused state, just nodded to Sebastian’s words. She wasn’t really processing anything right now, but she understood that it wasn’t good for her to be here. She obviously upset Ciel and she needed to clear her head after everything that had happened the two weeks. “….yeah… Tell Ciel, I’ll be back in a week to see him when he is feeling better.” She mumbled a little walking out the room after telling Sebastian. After Ciel started staying back in his room a few days ago, Elizabeth’s things were moved to one of the guest rooms down the hall. This was probably for the best anyway. She had been here for over two weeks now, and her parents were probably worried sick about her. A week away from Ciel would give them both some air. She found one of the servants and asked them to ready the carriage and send someone to help with her luggage, before she moved back to her guest room. Most of her things were packed from where she had been just living out of a suitcase anyways. Of course some of her clothes were still being washed from where she had worn them, but she knew that Ciel would get them back to her or she would get them eventually.
Her departure took about twenty minutes to get ready for, and Elizabeth remained silent for most of the process. She had a lot of things to sort out in her head, and hopefully in a week her fiancee would be back to his old self. He couldn’t have changed all that much at school in four years, she personally hadn’t changed that much in four years, so how could he have?
The water behind Ciel slowly rose and as it neared the top, Ciel attention was brought to it. Sebastian had said that a hot bath would make him feel better, and he trusted the other to prove right. The young heir shifted to his knees to turn the water off before standing. Before he could move freely from sudden shock and anger fueling adrenaline his body into motion, but now, he actually had to use the tub for support to stand. Slowly and with much pain, Ciel pulled off his clothes. Unfortunately though, he was unable to keep his cries of pain silent, so faint groans and winces could be heard from behind the door. Then as Ciel climbed into the tub, he quieted from his weak stains of pain. The hot water hurt some of his more open wounds at first, but as Ciel melted into the water he calmed and was silent. His eyes closed to the comforting warm around him and he laid there, completely still. The feeling was so nice that it actually made him drift off to sleep. The graveyard ordeal had definitely been a bit much for Ciel to handle after all the injuries he sustained. His body was exhausted.
Ciel's body now laid out in the body seemed to be a complete display of all the damage he could from his attackers. With his head, propped up against the bathtub, his hair had fallen back out of his eyes. The claw marks that marred his perfect ivory skin were clearly visible as he laid there passed out. The other eye didn't seem to look much better either, even though it had no claws it was colored black and blue from so much sleep deprivation and abuse. Even though Ciel had been home for a few days resting, it just seemed to give his body some time to develop more of the bruising. There was purple, black, and blue splotches covering his body, around his neck, across his rib-cage and stomach, and scattered on his white legs. Scratches and what looked like burns also were in the mix. His wrist were torn up like he had struggled to get out of restrains... Now laid out like this though, it was very apparent that Ciel's abuse didn't end with just beatings though. His body had scratches down his back and sides... There were even bite marks that had reddened in some of the bruises along his shouldered and body. When Ciel described his torments, looking at his body, you believed that he really was in hell.
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UnDeadReaper95 Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Dec 07, 2013 11:49 am
Sebastian let out a sigh of relief when Elizabeth agreed to leave Ciel alone for a while. He needed to have some relaxation time before having to deal with her again. He took a deep breath and turned towards the bathroom door, letting it out slowly. He wanted to make sure Ciel was alright, but at the same time he didn’t want him pissed at him in case he really did just want some alone time… He made up his mind, though. Ciel’s well-being was much more important than him being pissy.
Sebastian stepped towards the bathroom door and knocked twice softly before opening the door slowly and calling through, “Mas--...Ciel? Are you alright?” he called through softly then stepped
inside the bathroom, back facing his friend in case he didn’t want him to look at him. He was honestly scared to see the rest of what Ciel’s injuries consisted of. “I’m just going to get out the bandages and leave them out on the sink for you to use when you’re out of the bath,” he told him, reaching into a cupboard and pulling down a roll of gauze and bandages, setting them on the sink. “Is there anything else you may need before I leave you to your bath?” he asked regally and properly, still avoiding looking at Ciel in case it would cause him to get angry.
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Posted: Sat Dec 07, 2013 12:28 pm
Ciel having already fallen asleep said nothing, but as Sebastian continued to talk, Ciel started to stir and wake up. His anger now had left him, and he had nothing left to give. His body was completely worn out. When Sebastian asked him if there was anything else he needed, it clicked in his head that Sebastian was trying to leave… the thought of Sebastian not wanting to be around him hurt some deep inner part of them that was already scattered. “…I know that I’m not the Ciel you wanted to come home… but can you just sit with me and pretend I am…”The gray haired male whispered almost choking one the last few words as he started to feel more tears roll down his face. He couldn’t have Sebastian reject him like Elizabeth basically just did.
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UnDeadReaper95 Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Dec 07, 2013 12:42 pm
Sebastian began to get a little worried when Ciel didn’t answer him. Please don’t be dead… Oh, God, please don’t be dead.., he chanted in his mind, beginning to panic slightly as his heart palpitated. ...Then came Ciel’s voice, and Sebastian visibly relaxed...until he heard what he said. The butler immediately whipped his body around and stepped over to Ciel, kneeling down beside him. “No, no, I just… I thought you wanted to be alone, but I got worried because of what you said earlier about dying, so I came to check on you, but I didn’t know if you wanted to be looked at or not, so I didn’t know what was wrong when you wouldn’t answer me, and I used getting bandages as an excuse to come and check on you even though I was afraid you would be mad that I came in and interrupted your alone time, but I just thought your life was a little more important than you being angry with me as long as you were okay, and of course I’ll sit with you! Do you even know how long I’ve been waiting to see you again? You’re my best friend, Ciel! My only friend! Why the hell would I not want to spend time with you? Especially in this time of need! I don’t care if you think you are a different person, you’re still Ciel Phantomhive, my best friend, you’ve just been hurt very badly, and… Oh, my God, what all happened to you?” he asked, eyes finally taking in all of the damage to his friend’s body. He hadn’t noticed most of these marks the other day… “You need to bathe, then I’ll bandage you, then you need sleep. I’ve sent Elizabeth home for a week or so to give you some room to breathe. She’s already gone, so you won’t have to worry about her for at least a few days. I believe she’s in shock,” he explained to her, eyes moving back up to Ciel’s face. “I’ll get you whatever you need. Not as a personal butler, but as a friend,” he assured him, giving him a small smile. “Though...I am one hell of a butler, if I do say so myself. I’m head of services now,” he told him, trying to lighten the mood just a little so his friend wouldn’t be as sad.
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Posted: Sat Dec 07, 2013 10:23 pm
Ciel smiled weakly at Sebastian's reaction to his words. The frantic words of worry were something you just couldn't fake. Sebastian really did care about him, and missed him. This wasn't something he was doing because he was Ciel's bulter, he was doing this because they had been friends since Ciel was four years old. As he asked him what had happened to him, Ciel glanced down at his broken body. He trembled slightly thinking about it. He opened his mouth, but then closed again. He couldn't formulate the words that were needed to describe what happen to him, he could barely process it in thought. As Sebastian changed the subject, he nodded a little. Maybe he would tell Sebastian what happened to him one day, just not right now... "Okay... but you have to stay with me okay?... I know I said earlier I didn't want to alone.. but I really just thought you both were about to reject me... and I guess I just didn't want to be around when you did. " Ciel spoke softly looking at Sebastian's face. He was so beautiful compared to Ciel... He didn't even know how Sebastian could stand the sight of him.
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UnDeadReaper95 Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Dec 08, 2013 4:37 pm
Sebastian had to laugh a little at Ciel’s worries. “Ciel, I think we’re so wrapped around each other that at this point there’s no way I could reject you,” he told him reassuringly. He reached forward and wiped Ciel’s bangs off of his forehead, smiling at him. “I won’t leave you, Ciel. I’ll be right here beside you for as long as you want me to be. Promise.” He looked over his wounds once more then back up at his face, examining it. “You know...you have to clean the wounds on your face, right? Or else they’ll get infected..,” he told him gently. “And with them being around your eyes, we don’t need that to happen. We don’t want you losing your sight. Those pretty eyes of yours’ll get all cloudy, and I won’t be happy about that,” he told him, giving him a playful smirk.
He stood and moved to the cupboard, grabbing a cleansing cloth and moving back to his friend’s side. He dipped the cloth into the water and took Ciel’s face in his left hand as he wiped gently at his face and around the wounds marring his smooth skin. “I apologize if I hurt you. I just don’t want these to get worse. I’ll try to be gentle.”
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Posted: Mon Dec 09, 2013 6:41 pm
The gray haired male smiled softly at Sebastian’s words as he let his head tip back against the tub once normal. He didn’t understand it, he had already slept for days and yet it felt like he hadn’t for days. As the other promised not to leave him, Ciel felt better about having Sebastian see him like he was. He wasn’t exactly in the best of shape, but Sebastian still hadn’t seen his eye. Yeah, he had seen the scratches, but Ciel had yet to open the cursed eye for the other to see. With the scratches around it, it wasn’t hard to keep it closed, it had even started to swell from the stress of being out in the rain. Ciel’s frowned a little hearing Sebastian say that if he didn’t keep his eye clean, he might end up losing his sight in that eye. “….maybe we should just let it get infected then…” Ciel mumbled under his breath as the other stood up and moved away to the counter.
Ciel watched him move gracefully about the room, before returning to his side. It reminded him of the times when he was sick as a child and Sebastian was insist on taking care of him. As the other started to clean his face, he made no attempts to stop him as he just let his other eye slid closed as well. “I’m pretty sure at this point, anything you do is an improvement to what is already done…” Ciel admitted, barely even wincing at the deepest scratches. Pain was so natural to him at this point, he almost didn’t feel anything Sebastian was doing to him, but that also could have been because he was tired and his body was going numb from wanting to sleep.
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UnDeadReaper95 Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Dec 09, 2013 9:40 pm
Sebastian continued to clean Ciel’s wounds, finally finishing up with one gentle stroke across his forehead. “There. All clean. I’ll be sure to bandage you once you’re out of the bath and dried off,” he told him with a smile as he folded the cloth and laid it neatly over the side of the basin. He admired Ciel’s features for a moment. He was quite handsome despite the cuts that would likely scar a bit. “How was school?” he asked him, resting against the side of the tub and setting his chin atop his folded arms, looking at Ciel with a smile. “I noticed you’ve gotten a bit taller, though...so have I,” he commented lightly with a slight chuckle.
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Posted: Mon Dec 09, 2013 11:53 pm
Ciel nodded a little opening his good eye as the taller raven haired male finished cleaning his face. His weak, blue eye looked up at Sebastian's face. Something about seeing that face honestly made Ciel think that he was still back at school and only dreaming for the thousandth time. Ciel shifting a little, reached up and touched Sebastian's face with his wet hand. "It's hard to believe that I'm back here with you after being gone so long." He whispered softly looking longingly into the other's eyes before pulling back and looking away. Ciel had pushed off the terrible words of his captors...but now being with Sebastian, it was more than apparent that he couldn't hid from these feelings anymore... He truly was a terrible person... "Sebastian, I need to get something off my chest... And before you say anything.. just.. just let me finish okay?" Ciel told Sebastian knowing that if he didn't get this out now, that he may never get it out and Sebastian needed to know what was going on if he had any hope of helping him.
"Sebastian, for the longest time, you were my own friend... and that friendship... as I grew older, grew into my first feelings of love. You were the one person I could trust completely and you still are... but then Elizabeth... she got came into the situation and things changed between us. I thought I needed to love Elizabeth to make my father proud, and eventually I thought those feelings for you were gone... but while I was away at college, my roommate and some of his friends... they were a more exotic crowd, and well to put it into simple terms, one of them eventually came onto me. At first, I was confused and angry and shock, but the more and more I thought about it, I didn't mean the fact that it was guy that was loving me... and with those feelings came back the feelings I had for you. I think being away from you at college made it worse for me almost. I would spend hours reading over our letters and thinking about you towards the end of my stay at college. I really missed having you with me more than you can probably physically understand... And when I left school, I was so excited to see you again, I booked the first train out not caring that I might have to wait on a train station for trains that would take me to the right place to come along, I wanted to see you." Ciel paused to take a breath as he felt tears swelling in his eyes.
"I was waiting for the last train home when someone came and sat by me.. I didn't think anything of it, of course at the time. I was so jittery from wanting to get home as soon as possible, I didn't even really acknowledge the person until they started talking to me. He said that he knew my father, and we talked about the trains, and he said that he didn't think another one for here was coming that day. I told him I thought they said there would be one more, and he invited me to come check the train schedule with him.... I d-didn't see it coming until it was too late. The man hit me in the head with something hard and I collapsed. Again, and I saw black spots and couldn't move. I was so stupefied that I didn't even scream... I didn't make a single sound the whole time before I black out moments later. I spent what felt like weeks maybe even a month with this man... while he abused me, and he knew all these secrets about me.. He knew that I was gay... I don't remember what day it was, but I know that it was at the point where I had decided I wasn't going to eat until I just simply starved to death... He came into the basement that he was keeping me in and he asked me who I love most in the world.... I told him, my father and he laughed a me... I-I didn't understand at the time, I-I didn't know what was happening. He revealed a book to me, and started to read from it. He stopped suddenly and looked me dead in the eyes and h-he asked what y-you meant to me.. H-He asked me w-what I would give to save you from d-death... S-scared I said nothing.. until he started cutting me with some kind of knife. T-then I said, a-anything... that I would give a-anything to keep you safe, and especially out of the hands of that maniac." Ciel sobbed a now unable to control the fear and pain he felt, but he head to finish or else he never was.
Wiping his face with some water, he took in another shaky breath and continued. "He forced me to read from the book and my eye began to burn, it was the worst pain, i had ever felt in my life, but he pushed me on. After I finished it felt like my eye had decayed from the inside outside... and when I begged to know what was wrong with my eye, he told me he gave me what I wanted... H-he placed an ancient curse on me that protects the desire of my heart, but at the cost of my own flesh and blood... I-I killed my father... all because I-I couldn't stop myself from l-loving you, f-from keeping you s-safe...."Ciel finished finally cracking at the end before opening both eyes as he looked up at Sebastian really hoping that he didn't hate him for all the pain and hurt he caused. He didn't know if he could go on without Sebastian there now that he was literally all Ciel had left. His cursed eye was glowing with a fluorescent magenta and purple color.
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UnDeadReaper95 Vice Captain
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