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 Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2015 4:56 pm
Zuri let out a little breath. She understood what he was saying, though she had to admit that it wasn't too comforting to know that people might simply not forgive her, and that it was something that she couldn't do much about... Despite the disappointment, she'd simply have to be okay with it. She bit her lip, and then thought for a moment, missing the hand on hers when it had gone. Contact hadn't been something she'd wanted too much previously, but it was oddly nice now. "I think the thing I'm most afraid of is that, r-really... That I will have irreparably hurt... some people."
She was quiet for a moment, thinking. That wasn't the whole story, was it? Reluctantly, she then said, "I suppose I'm also afraid that... those feelings will come back. That's... sort of silly, isn't it...? Since there's nothing I can do to stop it anyway..."
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Posted: Wed Mar 04, 2015 11:02 am
Zeke gave her all the time she needed to get her fears out in the open.
"Those are valid fears," the vet said when he heard the two that gave her the most concern, "and I don't think that they're silly or that you're silly for having them. But I also don't think that there's nothing you can do to stop them!"
Smiling a little more, the vet took a long drink off his cup to wet his whistle and drained the cup of water completely. Setting it aside to be filled sometime later, he took that leaning forward posture again, taking a moment to grasp his words before speaking them to the Frei.
"The first fear...that's a possibility. It could happen, sure, but there's no knowing until you reach out to people again, Zurine. And if it does come to pass, you just have to try to make amends as best you can although it's the person's choice to take your words or not. If they don't, it will hurt, there's no denying that. But that'll be another step for you to take if and when that happens." His hands moved as he spoke, leaning left for a moment before being turned toward the right. "I've lost friends in the past." He focused on her quite clearly, smile thinning. "Through a lot of different ways. One of those was through something similar to this. Things happened, people got mad because of it, words were said that weren't the greatest. Even though afterward there was an attempt at a make up the bridge had burned, so they say. Did it hurt to lose that person? Yeah it did and it took a long time to come around to the idea that they weren't in my life anymore. But after that?"
He shrugged his shoulders, smile returning.
"I'm still here. I've still got tons of wonderful friends and a good thing going even if I lost one or two people along the way. And you wanna know something? Sometimes it's not entirely bad to lose a person, even one you considered a friend." Would she consider that? He hoped so.
"As for the second fear, Zurine," he studied her again. Her waif-like build, the sadness and fear that seemed to aerate from her. She wanted to get better and she wanted to not be this way. He wanted to help make that a possibility. "That's another thing that could happen. Feelings are kinda funny...you can't always control them even if you really, really want to. For example: you could be in the middle of a party, having a really great time, and suddenly you're feeling anxious or upset for no real reason."
He fell silent for a moment, sucking on his lip ring without realizing it as he mulled over an idea. Keeping the Frei isolated would obviously not help her cause at all, but when spring and summer came around she would be far out of her normal element and have to seclude herself, like Anya did in winter. He looked at the cover of her file, remembering her make up. Ice Rose and snowy owl. The owl and ice were clearly working against her, but she still had some plant to her, didn't she?
"But I think there's a way we can help with that." He cocked his head, watching for her reaction to his next words. "What if we try and see if we can acclimate you to sunlight and warmth?"
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Posted: Thu Apr 09, 2015 12:26 pm
Zurine listened quietly to him, absorbing the words he had to say. It was quite clear that he knew the place she was coming from, that dark and empty hole she'd just begun to claw her way out of. Doing things she didn't mean to do, hurting people she didn't mean to hurt... it seemed like so much, even now that the top of the hole was in sight, to have to climb back out over, like dirt piled at the edges of a grave -- no, that wasn't right, but it seemed a little like it. She let out a deep breath, her brow furrowing, and nodded. Sure, it was frightening to think of going back down in there, of living back in that hole, so it seemed only right that when he mentioned the idea of trying to make it easier.
Her heart fluttered, and she looked up at him, dark eyes widening. "Do you really... think that it could help? I-I mean, acclimating to sunlight, that is... Do you think that it would work? That I could... be like everyone else?"
The idea, though, was equal parts terrifying and intriguing. 'Acclimate' seemed to imply that she would have to simply learn to bear it, which didn't sound very nice at all. But if it could get better because of it, if it could become easier, well... wouldn't the misery be worth it? If the sun could pour light down into that dark and empty place, wouldn't it be worth it to try? If she had been sitting properly, she would have been at the edge of her seat, leaning forward to look at Zeke with her gaze focused and surprisingly intense in her pretty face.
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Posted: Fri Apr 10, 2015 11:36 am
"I think it's worth a shot!"
He perked up immediately at her reaction to his suggestion. Intense as her gaze was, there was nothing that said it wasn't positive. Nodding his head, Zeke pointed to the lights hanging overhead. Not the same as what he was about to describe, but similar enough to make a point.
"During the winter months a lot of people who garden keep their plants alive using special lights called sun lamps. They replicate sunlight to make up for the loss of it during winter. They also help keep the plants warm too." Smiling, he gestured to Zurine. "I'm thinking that maybe they can help get you used to the sun and warmer temperatures. I'm pretty sure you can get them at any hardware or gardening store, and they're relatively inexpensive too." Phiel wouldn't have to break the bank to test out this experiment. A room - or even a lamp to start - could have a bulb or two swapped in for the usual and that would be it.
"Maybe a few minutes a day to start, with the time going up little by little as you get used to it." She had that plant side to her, even if it was made of ice. Thinking on that, he had to chuckle to himself. "Of course, since we want to get you out and about again, there are places you can go if this idea pans out and the lights end up not being enough, even during winter." Here he cocked his head a little, eyes twinkling. "I have two in mind and they're fairly local too: there's the botanical garden just outside of Durem and the butterfly garden right here in Gambino."
Open year round, both places were sufficiently heated during the winter months to keep their respective creatures alive. The botanical garden was home to both massive greenhouses and sprawling outdoor stretches, perfect for any outing. The butterfly garden was an indoors only thing - and was thus humid at many times of the year to keep the plants and butterflies alive - but it was a pretty place and a damn fine site for a date.
"How does that sound to you?"
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Posted: Mon Apr 27, 2015 8:54 pm
She thought over this for a long few minutes, biting her lip and wondering again, could it really work...? It seemed so ambitious but so simple at the same time, as if she should have thought about it a long time ago. She felt foolish and at the same time, hopeful.
"I... I think it sounds good," Zurine said, slowly. "If it works." There was still doubt in her tone, but it mingled with the hope. "W-we can tell Phiel, and maybe... maybe I can try it. I just know I don't want all of this to happen again. If I can pull myself out of this completely, then... I don't ever want to go back down that far." Her shoulders firmed with determination, bracing at their full slim width.
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Posted: Thu May 14, 2015 6:16 pm
He could hear her doubt but also her hope in the way she gave her reply. She was a fighter, this one, and this only made Zeke all the more certain she could do this.
"I'll talk to Phiel when we're through, don't you worry." He nodded as he spoke, his action and words earnest. "But believe me when I say that the fact you're so willing to try even the most harebrained sounding things just tells me you're already on the path to getting better." Zeke continued to smile at her, warmed to his toes by her drive. She could do this. She would do this. And if he had to, he'd help her out every step of the way.
"So! That being said, we have something you can try and you definitely sound willing to do just that!" He got up then, moving briefly from his seat to get a pen and a pad of paper. "I'm going to write that down for you and Phiel to have on hand just in case. Maybe a few wattages to try for the bulbs at first, some trial times, that sort of thing." Something like a prescription, although his notepad was lined instead of stark white and lacking in any official-looking seal. Taking both in hand, he turned around as though to come back to sit, but gestured to the Frei's cup first. "Would you like me to freshen your ice?"
Things were looking sound on this particular front, but just in case there was anything else, she could make it known when she was ready to reveal it. Before then however, the least he could do was make sure she was comfortable and fed between those points in time.
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Posted: Tue May 19, 2015 1:24 pm
She smiled a little. "I-I'm fine... I'm still getting used to eating quite as much as I usually do," Zuri admitted. "A-and Phiel should be here soon to pick me up." She was quiet for a few moments, chewing her lower lip a little. Hesitating, she said quietly, "And... and if there's problems, though? D-do I... come back and talk to you?"
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Posted: Wed May 20, 2015 1:09 pm
Zeke wrote down the bulbs and wattage of them like he said he would, making sure his handwriting was legible and tidy. He tore the sheet off when he was done, handing it to Zurine.
"If that ever ends up happening," the vet started to write upon another sheet and quickly passed it over to the Owl as well. On its face was his name, home address, and two sets of phone numbers labeled accordingly - home and cell. "You can call me or drop by the Lab or my home. I'm always available if you need me, so don't hesitate, okay?"
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Posted: Mon Jun 01, 2015 8:34 pm
She took the papers, looking at them quietly for a few moments. She was quiet, and then she smiled and nodded. "Thank you," Zurine said softly, holding them close. "I-I'll... I'll call if I need anything. Is that... all we need to do?" She was a little hesitant, but she felt the buzz of Phiel's texting in her pocket. He'd be outside, and honestly, she wanted to go home to curl up for awhile. The whole meeting had been a little nerve-wracking, if she would admit it. She needed home and ice and sleep.
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Posted: Wed Jun 03, 2015 11:00 am
Zeke's attention went to the clock when Zurine asked if that was all they needed to do. Not too much time had passed, but surely enough for Phiel to finish his errands and come back all the same. He nodded when he looked back at the Owl Frei.
"If there's nothing else you need to discuss or want me to check on for you, I'd say we're all set."
She had her papers and the words he had spoken to her to think about and it seemed to him they had touched on everything Zurine needed him to. Barring any sudden epiphanies, she was good to go.
"Here, I'll get the door for you and see you out. Before you and Phiel leave I just wanna pull him aside for five minutes, but you're more than welcome to have a seat on any of the lobby chairs if you want to wait for him inside."
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