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 Posted: Thu May 26, 2016 10:00 pm
Is it real?
I'm back home
Where everything started~
I saw Deskri
He was scared~
He lost weight I think~ he's so small
I saw Luci
And Nana
It made me upset
I think so
Delilah is nice~
Deskri was sad
He left
I haven't seen him since~
Is it real?
Is this real?
I don't know~
I have a house now~
It's all mine
I started painting yesterday~
It's nice
I like it!
I hope it's real
Is it real?
I s i t r e a l?
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Posted: Thu May 26, 2016 11:12 pm
Whisper's Lullaby
[The handwriting in this entry seems unusually clear, and unlike Silas's usual chicken scratch, its written in impeccable cursive]
Babydoll
Sweetpea
Come and play with me~
Sweetheart
Tenderheart
Go and do your part~
Sugarplum
Cinnabun
We'll make them come undone~
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Posted: Fri May 27, 2016 1:00 am
Friends with Mara
[Roleplay done over Skype with MidnightSpirit]
Mara:writes on a piece of cardboard:: $3,000,000" ::holds it up:: ^_^
Silas > i did that once~ it didn't work~
Mara:looks at Silas:: really? ... darn
Silas > no~ i guess you can't write numbers on paper and make it money~ it doesn't make any sense to me~ isn't it all paper with numbers written on in~?
Mara:looks at Silias:: ...::blinks:: .... um.... well I guess it is. just some kind are actually considered Important?....
Silas > but why~? what makes it special~? is it the pictures~? i could make them too~
Mara: um... it's special paper.... made by special people. you have to be one of those people to make the money people think it important?
Silas > huh~~ that's so weird~ who makes them special~?
Mara: ...government? ._.
Silas > = w = that's a big word~ i don't really understand it~
Mara: ..... ::pats the poor kid::
Silas > it just seems like a lot of make-believe~ are we all playing pretend~? i don't like this game~ the
rules are too complicated ~
Mara:....::pats faster:: ...you make my brain hurt
Silas > oh no~ did i do the fumes again~?
Mara:....fumes?
Silas > the paint fumes~ that make everyone cough~ sometimes it makes everyones' heads hurt, too~
Mara: nope, not this time.
Silas > oh~ then i don't know what i'm doing to make your head hurt~ //paps//
Mara: .....:laughs:: .....I have no idea. lets not talk about money okay? I am not even sure I won't get into trouble if I say something and you take it the wrong way
Silas > okay~ we don't have to talk about money. i don't even have any~ who would you get in trouble with~?
Mara:looks IC: my higher ups. How about you? you live in Sanctuary?
Silas > higher ups~? //looks up into the sky// i don't see anyone above you~ //nods and stifles a yawn// mhmm~ i live in a house that's all mine~ but its lonely~
Mara:smirked faintly in amusement but didn't follow his gaze:: They are my bosses.. part of a job. Not very fun but its there... huh lonely? have no friends with the other metas?
Silas > ohhh~ i don't have a job~ nooo, i don't have any friends~ not really~ everyone seems too busy to play with me~
Mara: have you tried to follow the headmaster around until he pays attention to you or helps you find friends?
Mara:dark smile:
Silas > //blinks, then frowns// no~ that would be annoying~ i don't want to be a bother...~ its okay, I'm used to being alone~
Mara:winces, for once feeling a little guilty:: Well... hm.. can you cook?
Silas > //tilts his head// i can make sandwiches~ peanut butter and jelly~ and maybe sometimes just cheese or turkey~
Mara: well... why not ask the cook if you can make a few of them for all the people currently in the sanctuary and pass them around?
Silas > hmmm~ maybe~ i don't really know how many people are here~ everyone seems so scarce~ or maybe i just don't remember them...~ //rubs at his head a little;;//
Mara: ... hm why not ask the headmaster or any one else int he office? it would be a good way to meet people..maybe remember them?
Mara:can be nice, shh:
Silas > aaaaa that's a good idea~ maybe if he's not busy i can do that~ i think Delilah is gone right now, i haven't seen her in a while~ //frowns// i hope she's okay~
Mara: ..... eh hehehehe >.> yea... hope she is okay. ..... : surprised oc knowledge fist shake:: Try it, should also be fun. ::smiles faintly:: or worst case have a basket of cookies that you start passing out to people you meet as you walk around... maybe paint them a little design with it if you're bored
Silas > ooh~ that could be fun~ people like to paint, i think~ its too bad not everyone can make all the paint they want...~ //tilts his head, blinking sleepily// ....are we friends now~?
Mara: uh... sure? We can be friends. I'm not usually in sanctuary though... I make people worry >.>
Silas > do you~? how come~? i'm not worried~
Mara: I'm human... many metas here would rather not see another human ever again :smiles faintly::
Silas > oh~ i didn't realize~ it doesn't matter to me, people are just people and not all the bad ones are human~
Mara:blinks:: that is a pretty mature view, a lot of your fellows don't actually share that ::actually does look faintly surprised:: yet if you want to be friends we can be... I guess I can give you my phone number if you want
Silas > really~? they must not know about the Bad Things~ //blinks slowly, almost squinting a little as he seems to be deciphering the offer.... then nods// okay~ i don't have a cellphone~ but the house has a phone in it so i can call that way~
Mara: Bad things? ::looks instantly curious, wondering if that was the secret of why Sanctuary seemed so iffy:: Oh yes.. the house phone and call a cell. hm ... ::taking out her wallet she pulled out a card and just handed it to him::
Silas > //takes it, looking it over for a moment before finally putting it into his pocket// uh-huh~ the Bad Things that some people have~ i had one~ she wasn't very nice~ and my big brother that adopted me had one too~ his was very mean~ meaner than mine~
Mara:tensed:: The bad things...were they voices in your head?
Silas > mmhm~ people trapped inside~ she's gone now though, and his is too~ but sometimes i can still hear her~
Mara: malice, oh shoot..he was talking about a malice or mane? right? and it was gone...how many former mane and malices were running around out there? :: Gone as not at Sanctuary?
Silas > gone far away~ i haven't seen her in a long ti--....~ a long time~ and i dunno about deskri's~ he said once that if he saw his again he would probably die~ so i don't think he's seen him~ because i saw deskri a couple of weeks ago and he's still alive~ very small but still alive~
Mara:Huh ::filing Deskri's name to look up in the old files they pulled out of the sanctuary computer:: Your old one... do you remember her name? what she looks like?
Silas > ummm.... ~ she likes to change her shapes a lot~ and she didn't want me to talk about her to people very much...~ but i guess its okay since she's gone and we're friends~ //smiles sleepily// her name is whisper~
Mara: blinked, a shape-shifter? darn and whisper? likely would have changed it by name. Neither were helpful but the fact she does exist was:: Thank you for telling me, I like to keep up on those type of things so people are safe. If you know of any other mal-er Bad Things around please let me know ::smiles and blinks:: you look sleepy... sorry if I was keeping you up
Silas > its okay~ whisper doesn't hurt people very much~ at least not at first..~ //frowns// oh..~ i'm always sleepy~ that's what whisper does...~
Mara:frowns faintly:: she makes you sleepy? but you said she isn't around
Silas > she isn't anymore~ but i'm always sleepy now because of her~ //nods// she said its a present~
Mara:grimaces:: .. Not much of a present. Do you know if all of them do the same thing? Leave a ...present? Anyway to take it away? ::her gaze intense as she watched the meta::
Silas > mmm~ i dunno~ i guess so...~ i get to make people sleep too because of her~ and deskri can't feel pain because of his~ but i dunno if they all do that... i never asked...~ //shakes his head// i dunno if you can take it away... i would like that, though...~ i don't want to be sleepy all the time...~
Mara:stares at silas and wonders what would happen if they had him drink 5 cans of an energy drink: "Useful skill...bad side-effect" she sighed, wondering if Spectrum actually had notes on that or if it was something completely new, he mind moving to Hexxis and Ashral the only malice and host she actually knew of. "Maybe Spectrum knows....I need to go talk to them anyways and I could ask for you "she said very carefully, knowing the reactions metas and some non-humans had to even a hint of a suggestion of heading to a research center.
Silas > spectrum~? what's that~? //tilts his head a little// if you want to ask that's okay~
Mara: A res- ::she frowned: a place that looked up bad things and learned about them
Silas > ooohhh~ to make them go away~? that would be nice~
Mara: I think that is what they are trying to do...I am not quite sure either ....::hesitates and lightly pats his shoulder:: I'll ask at least ::she gave him a faint smile:: Either ways I should be heading back before it gets dark... since I parked quite far from here ::a faint self-amused look since she never expected to walk all the way here::
Syth: Alright kids time to get lost!
Mara: okay great great grandma... ::Smirks faintly::
Silas > okay~ i would give you my phone number but i don't know it~ //shrugs// be safe~ i got told once that its not good to walk alone at night~ //tilts his head, eyes narrowing slightly at syth with an uncharacteristic frown spreading over his face;;;// .........
Mara:nods:: I can call sanctuary's main building and ask. Thanks..::smiling in amusement:: that is very good advice ::eyes syth as well:: ...::waves at them as leaves::
Silas > //looks back to her and nods// that's true...~ goodbye~ //turns and waddles on back towards the sanctuary;;//
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Posted: Fri May 27, 2016 8:04 am
New Friend
I think
I'm going to make more friends~
I hope
Maybe I should learn how to make food~
Whisper told me how to make some food when I was little~
I need you
But everyone else says its too dangerous~
I want to be like them~
I'll never be like them
I don't want to rely on everyone else for help anymore~
Someday no one will help
I don't want to be a bother
I can do it I think~
I can't do anything
If I'm really careful~
Can I do it? Is it okay?
I need help
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Posted: Mon Feb 22, 2021 5:48 pm
Lost and Found
It's been a while
Since I wrote here~
I lost my diary
I do that a lotBut I found it again~
With Sono's help~!
He came to live here
Not long after Deskri left~
He's kept me company sometimes~
But he works a lot too~
I hope I'm not a bother...He's so smart~
So much more than before I think~
I see the way he looks at me
I know I'm all wrongIt's good to see him again~
I wish everyone else would come home too~
So we could be a family again~
Even though we didn't get to spend much time together before
Everything fell apart
I miss Whisper
It's not getting easier to do things by myself
I'm still so sleepy
All the time~
I know it is her present but I wish she'd take it back
How do I give it back?
I haven't seen Mara in a while
and I didn't make any new friends~
That are real~
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Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2021 11:22 am
My Fault
It wasn’t often that Sono found Silas outside. The hybrid seemed to cloister himself away indoors whenever possible, which admittedly concerned Sono but he wasn’t quite sure where to start with bringing it up. Silas seemed so… distant, all the time, that he truly wasn’t sure if the conversation would be remembered if he did bring it up.
But, at the moment, Silas was outside. Sitting on the lawn a little ways up from the Sparkling Lake, painting on a small canvas. Sono watched from a distance for a few moments - sometimes when he wasn’t aware others were watching, Silas seemed to talk to himself… but Sono was certain his Malice had separated. Did Deskri also do this…?
It seemed that he wasn’t going to do it this time, so Sono made his way over to his adopted brother. ”Mind if I join you?” He asked once he was close enough.
Silas looked up after a beat - a delayed reaction, but Sono had expected it. Silas always seemed to live in slow-motion. ”Oh..~ Sono… I don’t mind.” He smiled sleepily, then patted the grass next to him with a hand.
Sono settled onto the ground, folding his legs in front of him. ”What’re you working on?” He asked.
”It’s… hmm~ nothing in particular. I got bored~ of painting the walls. So I’m here to paint the lake~.” Silas held up the little canvas he’d been working on. The painting on it was in fact a replica of the scene before them - in striking detail.
”It’s very good for being nothing in particular,” Sono grinned, ”how have you been?” He’d been away for a few weeks, dealing with some business in Belrad. Always an unpleasant time with the growing hostility toward Metas in general, but it was necessary.
Silas hummed, pleased with the compliment, then shrugged. ”Oh~ you know… the usual~. It’s been very quiet~ except when that attack happened… There’s a lot more people here now~ I think~?” Silas had, admittedly, slept through most everything. That was pretty normal for him, though. He could, and probably would, sleep through just about anything.
”Mm, I heard…” Sono frowned - things really were getting a lot worse before they were getting better these days. ”Have you made any friends?” He dreaded the question, but he did want to know if Silas was socializing or not.
Silas was quiet for a few moments, seemingly focused on his painting, but eventually he sighed. ”Nope~ I’ve been… sleeping a lot~ instead.” He did not look up to answer.
”Oh…” Sono knew that would be the answer, but it was still a little… disheartening. ”Do you want to make friends?” He hadn’t asked this one yet… it was worth finding out what Silas thought about it.
”Hmm…” Silas hummed again, thoughtful, as he tapped at his chin with the butt of his brush. ”I don’t know~ honestly…~” He turned his head enough to look at Sono directly. ”It’s hard, I think~? Since I sleep so much~ I’m unreliable.” He spoke slowly, watching Sono for his reaction. He had been thinking that Sono was mostly just talking to him out of pity lately… he appreciated it, but it still left him feeling a little sour.
Sono looked thoughtful for a moment before nodding. ”I can see how that would make making friends difficult.” He leaned back on his hands, tail lolling lazily. ”But… I think it could be worth your while, if or when you decide you want to try.”
Silas nodded slowly, then returned to his painting. Even if Sono was just talking to him out of pity, he at least didn’t try to force Silas into doing things he wasn’t really ready to do yet. He appreciated that.
”I spoke to Des a couple of days ago,” Sono said after a few moments of silence, ”he’s okay, but doing something..? Wouldn’t say what, though… But he did say he’ll come visit when he’s done.”
Silas glanced over and nodded, ”that’s nice of him…~ We didn’t get to talk very much~ before he left… I think~ the meet-and-greet upset him~.” It had been so long ago, but for whatever reason Silas couldn’t forget about it.
Sono nodded - he’d talked about that with Silas before. The events Silas had described seemed… odd to Sono, as something that would upset Des, but he’d just have to wait until they were in person to ask him about it. ”That just leaves Hayden.” Sono sighed. The last sibling still missing.
Silas froze.
Sono frowned- why freeze?
”Oh…~ You don’t know…~” Silas said after a few moments of silence.
”Don’t know what?” Sono asked. A sense of dread started to build up in his chest.
”Hayden is…~ Mmm.. he’s dead.” Silas could not bring himself to look at Sono as he revealed the information.
”He’s… dead.” Sono repeated, shock slowing him down. They’d never been close, he and Hayden, but he still cared about him.
”S’my fault…~ he was protecting me~.” Silas continued a moment later, ”there was a lot of… angry people~ and I didn’t know what to do~ but Hayden tried to help me…~ Distracted them while I got away…” it hurt to remember those events. He and Hayden had stuck together in the initial chaos of getting away from what was the Academy. Things were fine for a few weeks, but with the two of them both sporting obvious Meta traits, they were easy targets. Silas even moreso, due to his slowed reflexes and tendency to zone out. ”I’m sorry.” He said finally, unable to bring himself to explain further.
Sono was still for a moment, but… eventually sat upright, then placed a hand on the middle of Silas’s back. ”It’s not your fault, Silas.” He said, ”you didn’t kill him. Whoever was attacking the two of you did.” Sono’s tone was serious- because he meant it. He didn’t, and couldn’t, blame Silas for that.
Silas’s vision blurred as tears clouded his eyes. He rubbed at his face with one hand, sniffling. ”But it is, Sono…~ Because I’m slow… and so tired~.” Emotion bubbled up within him - he’d cried for days after what had happened, and that sorrow was threatening to come back and swallow him whole again. He missed Whisper… she would’ve known what to do.
Sono shifted to his knees, then gently pulled the canvas out of Silas’s lap before pulling him into a tight hug. Silas stiffened for a moment, taken by surprise by this sudden display of affection and comfort… but soon enough he found himself wrapping his arms around Sono’s torso and squeezing for dear life. Whatever small bit of restraint he had broke as the tears finally forced themselves out of him. Sono didn’t speak - he just continued to hold him until finally, finally, there were no more tears to cry.
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Posted: Wed Mar 17, 2021 8:56 am
Mirri
There's been a very pretty sunflower in the window of one of the dorm rooms for a little bit.
I wanted to paint it really badly...
So I went to ask
If I could
I didn't think
Not very much
But I knocked anyway even though it would be weird
It was really weird of me to do that wasn't it
It didn't go bad, though
I met Mirri!
She's very nice
and very cute
She has puppy ears and a tail
or I guess it's wolf not puppy
but she is like a puppy
She's very bright
Like her sunflower
I'm going to go with her soon
To talk to Mirabelle
about making a garden
For her to plant things outside too
and not just in her pot
She said that she's been here for a little bit
her father? I think it was her father
dropped her off
I hate parents like that
she's so nice and so excitable how could they throw her away like that?
I understand
how it feels
to be left alone
So I am glad that
we can be friends
so maybe she won't have to be so alone
I don't want her to be like me
She said to come at night
because she's a wolf in the day?
If I understood right
I hope she doesn't think I'm dumb because I didn't get it at first
She wouldn't think that
She's nice
So I will have to try very hard not to fall asleep
when the sun starts to set
so we can go to Mirabelle together
maybe we can
paint the garden walls?
Mirri wants to learn
how to paint, too
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Posted: Wed Mar 17, 2021 9:02 am
A Favor
He was about to go to bed when a knocking sound caught his attention. He hesitated, wondering who it could possibly be. He hadn't told Mirri where he lived, had he? No... and he hadn't seen Mara in a long, long time... he also hadn't told her where he lived. Sono wasn't around, was he?
A few minutes had passed in the time that he tried to figure out who could possibly be knocking at his door. They were probably gone by now. Still, he shuffled over to the door and then opened it slowly. It-- Sono?
”Oh~ Sono~ welcome back.” Silas said in a dreamy sort of tone. He stepped aside, opening up the door for Sono to come inside, which he did.
”Thank you, I just got back a few hours ago… how are you?” He asked, looking around as he entered the entryway. The paint on the walls had changed since last he’d been in Silas’ house. The colors were… brighter, and warmer. He decided to interpret that as a good thing.
”I’m doing well..~ I made a friend, while you were gone~.” Silas replied as he closed the front door.
”You did? That’s wonderful…!” Sono perked up immediately- perhaps a bit too much, Silas’s eyes narrowed just slightly for a brief second, and Sono tried to tone himself down a bit. ”Sorry, I’m a bit excitable today. Nerves, I think?” He apologized.
”It’s fine~ I thought that perhaps~you would be happy to hear that~ I went out for a little bit…~ Someone in the dorms has~ a very pretty sunflower~ and I wanted to paint it up close..~ so I went to ask if I could and she said yes~ and we talked for a long time while I painted~ and became friends.” Silas decided to shrug off the slight over the top reaction from Sono - he’d been expecting at least something similar… It stung as much as it felt good to have someone be proud of him like that. ”Did you come~ to check on me again~?” He asked a moment later.
Sono bobbed his head side to side in a ‘sort-of-kind-of’ fashion. ”Yes, but not as the primary reason..?” He replied, tone slightly apologetic. He knew Silas was getting a little… frustrated? with his hovering. Seeing his expectant expression, Sono continued. ”On my way back I ran into - or something like that - a Shadow toddler… Unattended, no parents or anything. One of the originals, like us.” He motioned to the both of them. Silas nodded, clearly unsure where Sono was going with this.
”They asked me to bring them back here, so that’s partially why it’s taken me longer to get back… but anyway, I’m getting off topic. I’m going to be looking after them while I’m here, but when I’m gone--” Silas abruptly waved his hands, cutting Sono off,
”I can’t look after a little kid Sono~ I can’t look after me most of the time~” His tone was filled with some amount of alarm.
Sono shook his head, ”no no no, I’m not going to ask you to look after them…..alone?” He paused, letting that sink in for a second. Silas still seemed extremely unsure, but nodded for Sono to continue. ”We ran into another teenager shortly after getting here, who is also looking after a parentless toddler. She’s willing to look after Avery too while I’m gone, but the trouble is… Avery can fly. Guin can’t. And for that matter, neither can I anymore.” Sono explained, ”we already had an incident where they just… Took off as high as they could go - their ability must’ve given out, because they just fell back down? I barely managed to catch them. Guin’s pretty sure she wouldn’t be able to do that… and I thought perhaps you might be willing to at least hang around while they’re playing..? Just in case anyone tries to take off flying.” Sono finished with pressing his hands together in a ‘please’ pose, expression hopeful.
Silas blinked slowly, wings shifting in discomfort as he tried to process all of that. Sono wanted him to just… hang around as a potential falling toddler catcher… because he could fly?
Could he fly? Silas hadn’t tried in a long, long time. He ran a hand through his hair, letting out a long sigh. ”I don’t actually~ know if I can fly~ anymore… I haven’t in a long, long, long~ time… Was still learning~ when I tried, too.” He replied finally. Sono nodded in understanding.
”It’s alright- I figured I would ask, just to see if it was something you were up to.” Sono had mostly been expecting to be turned down, though not for this particular reason.
Silas shifted his weight uncomfortably - hating the feeling of disappointing Sono, even though he’d just been assured that it was alright. He wrung his hands together, thinking, ”I guess that~ I could try~ again…?” He glanced off to the side for a second, then back to Sono.
”It’s completely up to you, Silas. Babysitting is a… pretty big responsibility and I do not want to make you feel forced into it. So. If you would like to try flying again for this purpose, then I’d be happy to come with you - if you want some support…? I’m going to be taking Avery to meet up with Guin and Agar tomorrow afternoon for some swimming lessons in the lake… if you’d like, you could join us? No pressure on the flight thing. It’d really only be for when I’m not present here, just so Guin could have some back up.” Sono spoke carefully, trying to ensure that he absolutely was not trying to pressure Silas into doing anything he didn’t want to do… but also trying to keep that door open for the hybrid to go through if he did want to.
Silas stared at Sono for a few moments, thinking over what he’d said. Tomorrow at noon, at the lake. Two toddlers and another teenager. Plus Sono. Did he have the energy for that…? Would he be awake? ”I’ll… try to come~” He said finally.
”Do you want me to stop by here…?” Sono asked, figuring what was keeping Silas from giving a solid answer.
Silas nodded slowly. ”I suppose that~ that would be best~ to ensure that I’m awake~... It’s just going to be~ us and the other three…~?” He asked.
”And a… oh I forget what Guin called him… some kind of sentient deer? He also looks after Agar, Guin’s sort-of kid.” Sono replied.
Silas looked very confused for a moment before nodding. ”Okay~... Do I need to… bring anything..~? I can’t really… cook that well~” That was another topic of discomfort.
Sono shook his head, ”no, I’ll handle all of that. All you would need to do is just show up and say hi. I expect Guin will be pretty occupied with the swimming lessons most of the time anyway.” Sono reached over to pat his shoulder, then remembered something. ”Oh, ah… I understand if this might make you change your mind but…” He trailed off for a second, earning a curious look from Silas.
”Agar has a Malice… I didn’t see it - him- come out today, but Guin had commented that she’s been put to sleep by him before.” Sono explained slowly.
Silas’s posture stiffened at the mention of a Malice, and then at the mention of Guin being knocked out he averted his gaze altogether. Whisper’s voice echoed in the back of his head, the ghost of his own Malice, singing lullabies that often put him to sleep.
”Oh.” Was all he could say. Did that change his mind…?
”Agar has… I guess, mushroom based powers…? I can only assume it’s the spores that do it. She mentioned some of them are poisonous but it’s mostly ah… upset stomach symptoms at the moment.” Sono explained, watching Silas’s face carefully. Were the powers different enough to not make Silas terribly uncomfortable, or was the possibility of being put to sleep enough to turn him off from the whole thing?
”Mm…” Silas hummed in acknowledgement. He missed Whisper terribly, in this moment, even though she wasn’t good for him, she always offered guidance. Something to cling to - something to listen to. ”...I’ll come meet them, at least…~” He said finally.
”Thank you, Silas.” Sono smiled softly, relieved he hadn’t upset him too much with the reveal.
”It’s nothing to~ thank me for~ I don’t know if I’ll really be~ all that helpful…~” Silas shook his head, ”I’ll try to~ be awake before you come tomorrow~. I’ll set two alarms~ and everything.” He yawned. Sono caught the hint to leave and nodded, backing away and towards the door.
”Sounds like a plan, I’ll see you tomorrow, then. Sleep well, Silas.” He waved a little, then let himself out of the house.
Silas stared at the door for a few moments, then let out a long breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. His wings drooped slightly, as if relaxing with the breath leaving him. What did he just get himself into...?
He missed Whisper.
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