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 Posted: Wed Jan 20, 2016 12:02 pm
His breathing came out in erratic, unsteady sounds, as though he couldn't quite get enough air into his lungs to breathe properly. Each one that did manage to make it down his throat burned, and the vision that had already been unsteady wavered in and out.
Corvus' arms were gentle.
He didn't deserve them.
Her voice was soft, soothing. Not exactly familiar, but the tone was.
He didn't deserve that either.
His shoulders were tense, stiff, body trembling, the dizziness heavy in his head, the nausea rising in his throat.
Mistake. You were a mistake, this is a lie, she's just mocking you.
You don't really have anyone.
You're as alone as you always have been.
He couldn't take it anymore.
With a shudder and a gasp, Celsus pushed away from Corvus. He staggered to his feet, swaying unsteadily, and stumbled down the pathway, back down to the ground, the snow sloshing against his feet. He barely had gotten down before the bitter taste was in his mouth, one hand braced against the side of the castle.
He could not contain it. With a gasp and a shudder, Celsus bent over and threw up.
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Posted: Wed Jan 20, 2016 8:03 pm
Corvus rocked back as she was pushed away, arms slipping from him easily. She hadn't been holding him tightly, not wanting to restrain him or make him feel any more trapped than he might have already felt inside of his own mind. She expected to hear his footsteps crunching through the frost until they disappeared. She hadn't expected to hear him pause, and she definitely wasn't prepared for the sound of retching. Corvus swallowed hard as her own stomach tried to heave, closing her eyes tightly as though that might help to drown out the sound. She'd heard worse, seen worse... Corvus rose to her feet slowly, peering over the edge of the castle wall to watch him for a moment before nimbly vaulting over it. She landed on the ground with a grace that hadn't come easy in her early years as a senshi. Lingering back, not wanting to crowd him, Corvus waited for a moment before finally speaking up. "Celsus...? Are you alright?"
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Posted: Sun Jan 24, 2016 8:12 pm
He didn't know where he was, what was happening. The pressure in his skull was almost unbearable, the voices twisting each and every thought not something convoluted, something dark and terrible. Distinguishing between them and the quieter, softer voice of Corvus felt impossible, a terrible difficulty.
He'd emptied his stomach. By the time he became aware of the senshi's presence behind him again, he'd been dry heaving, chest rasping, the cold seeping into him. Celsus stayed bent over, a hand rising to wipe his mouth on the back of it, his skin pale and sweaty.
Was he okay?
I will never be okay.
"No," Celsus whispered, and his feet started to move, started to carry him deliberately away from Corvus, a desperate desire to get away from her burning through his mind. "No - I'm - fine - "
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Posted: Sun Jan 24, 2016 8:33 pm
"You don't look fine." Her voice took on a stern edge but she couldn't keep the concern out of it entirely and her tone softened almost instantly as she continued, "I could take you somewhere. Anywhere. Get you something to drink? Something warm..." Corvus shifted as though to move after him as he backed away but she hesitated. She wanted to corner him. She wanted to crowd him and keep him safe... But what she wanted might not be best for him. Anything has to be better than this.. "Celsus, please. If you won't let me help at least -- at least meet me here again. Remember who I am, that I want to help you, and come back." It was so silly how important it was to her to make sure that he was alright, that he would be alright. She would chastise herself for it while trying to detach herself from thinking about it later, but at the moment the ache was very real and she didn't want to let him walk away without some sort of reassurance.
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Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2016 1:11 pm
He could hardly hear her anymore. Corvus' voice seemed drowned out by everything else, by the throbbing in his head, by the voices that kept reminding him over and over again that he wasn't worth it, that he shouldn't even be here, that he didn't understand why she was even trying.
He kept walking. Desperation had set in, both to believe in what she was telling him and a strong, terrible desire to walk away and never let her see him again.
But he wasn't sure about either of them.
"I'm...sorry," Celsus mumbled quietly. "I'm...so sorry."
He kept walking, kept moving, slowly and unsteadily on his feet, away from Corvus, away from the park, away from everything.
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