Keeper... Marissa's mind called out to the Laviathan but the wolves bitting words sileced her thoughts and so she lifted the harvest moon orb and held it to her chest.
Find us, please. The sword was kept close but she could not hold or lift it without having to let Winter go.
"My life..." It would have been easier to share with him her memories but this Dreamscape was unlike the ones she was used to, the vale was too thick and she worried that influencing this starshattered field would cause more damage to his fragile mind. "It was fairly unextrodinary..."
"I was just a simple girl. Everything was routine, each day a repeat of the one before it; school, swim, sleep." Very rarely was there any varriation unless there was a meet at another school or if her family decided to go on vacation.
"When I was young, my best friend was my older brother. He was the popular kid and while we were never in the same school together, nobody really bothered or harassed me. If anything, it was as if I had multiple siblings watching over me." She had basically been adopted by the swim team, the tag a long little sister that nobody minded if she was there because she shared a similar passion for swimming as they did.
"But then the accident happened." The sharp pain of old wounds ripping open echoed above them Dreamscape in the sound of a tree limb over head cracking under the weight of snow and fallen stars. Marissa tensed unintentionally and had to force herself to relax so that such emotions wouldn't cause him to fracture further.
"In a single moment, a drunk driver turned my world upside down." She closed her eyes and drew in a steady breath before continuing. "I sat on the wayside watching my parents grieve then argue and grieve some more."
"They say that no parent should ever have to burry a child. But they don't have a saying for siblings as close as we were. My mother and father were either consoling each other or fighting and threatening a divorce. I was just existing as an afterthought, unable to properly grieve because there was no shoulder left for me to cry on." All of his teammates were in their own various states of shock because her brother wasn't the only one that died that day. Those who did look her way did so with an expression full of pity.
"We ended up moving out of state, living in that house brought too many memories. My mother would sleep walk into his room and cry on his bed. I'd find her in there and would cover her up after she'd fallen asleep." It was destructive behavior but wasn't something she could really help, he was taken from them too soon and none of them could ever prepare for the hole he'd leave behind in his absence. "They took me out of swim club and stopped going to family reunions at the lake. My joys in life were taken from me because it was too painful for them to participate in them."
"This lasted for a few years until finally, one day... I snapped..."
Why can't you just listen like... Like what? My brother? That's what you were going to say right. He's dead, dad! Michael is gone so stop comparing me to him. Tears streamed down her face while her fists remained clenched at her sides.
Her father stared back at her in a mix of shock and disbelief.
I...No, you don't get to speak now. How many years are you going to keep me stuck in his shadow? Everything I do is compared to what he could have achieved if he was still alive. Will you ever be able to look at me and not see him?Marissa, I... we..You two, you took away the only thing he left me with! I hate you... I hate you both... Without another look in their direction she ran towards the door, taking with her one of the last family photos that was taken together. A time when their family was whole and they were all smiling together on the beach, her father supporting a wicked sunburn but still having fun with his two kids.
"I ran away" The same way she fled from Wolframite when he admitted the truth about purification to her. In moments where she felt truly abandoned or betrayed... Marissa ran.
"I wish I could say that I went on some grand adventure of self discovery, that I boarded a train and got off on the last stop in some no-named city where I could make a new life for myself. It would make a better story but I was just a kid still, a kid with no money and no skills. Not that I could get a job since I wasn't even 16 yet."
"My dad found me a few hours later asleep on a swinging bench at the park. I think the fear of losing what little he had left was enough to make him open his eyes again. I feel like that was the first time he saw me with clear eyes in a long time. My mother caught up with him not long after and for the first time we all cried, together."
"Death is always a difficult thing to handle. It takes a piece of you that can never be taken back and leaves a scare on your heart or a hole in your soul. The missing piece can be replaced or filled with something else but it will never be a perfect fit, there will always be imperfections." In a way her captain, Lopezite, had over time started to fill in the void her brother had left. The two shared similar qualities, it was hard not to see a sliver of Michael in him.
"We reconciled, my parents and I. And after traveling to visit my brothers grave, we decided to pursue our former passions in his memory. I feel like that was our moment of acceptance, the final stage of grief. It took several years and it still hurts to think about, but we were able to go on adventures, just the three of us, again." Although, they did always bring with them a family picture so it would at least feel like Michael's spirit was with them.
Life was good for a time, until it ended abruptly at a frozen lake in the woods where nobody was around to save her from drowning save for the Keeper who gave her a second chance to keep on living.
"I've already lost one important person in my life. Please don't make me go through that again, Winter." Marissa placed a gentle kiss upon his brow, her eyes closed and tears fell freely onto the blood stained dress she still wore. "These words of self doubt will be your undoing. You are not what they say."
"You are not meant to be a lone wolf, you thrive in a pack. You are stronger than those voices claim you to be. Tina is alive because you protected her. I... I am alive because you protected me." It's true that she wouldn't have drowned in the lake when the Owl had dropped her from the sky, but the wounds she sustained would have been her undoing if she stayed under water.
"I need you," she admitted honestly and truly.
MoonKitsune
I am sorry for the wall-o-text.
