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 Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2025 8:38 am
“It’s okay if you cry,” Elliot reassured. “I’d rather you cry with me than cry alone. Promise. The idea of you sad or scared and alone makes my heart hurt. I mean, seeing you hurting now makes my heart hurt, but I feel better because I get to be here with you. I love you, I want to be here with you. Through anything and everything. I know this is all really scary but it’ll be okay, Atticus. I know it probably sounds like I’m making an empty promise. But I’m not. And I’m not saying this isn’t hard, because I can see how hard this is on you.”
He wasn’t minimizing what Atticus was going through.
Elliot had lived a privileged life, for the most part. He had two parents who loved him. Who supported him. Who let him make mistakes, who let him grow from them, who supported him. There was no world where Elliot could hate himself because his parents had poured so much love into raising him.
Michael had been in his life since he was too small to remember meeting him, but he’d always been stable and supportive and kind. He’d grown up making mistakes, or asking Michael silly questions, or being young and naive and innocent around him–and he trusted him completely. With Atticus, too.
Elliot had been a loud kid–sweet, but never taught to be ashamed of his curiosity or his voice or himself. Atticus was quiet, reserved, cautious. Elliot had been taught to ask for help, Atticus had been taught he didn’t deserve it.
Atticus probably knew he could trust Michael with anything, but when doubt and worry fogged his mind, it must have been easy to forget that. He’d only been with Michael for a few years. He didn’t know him quite like how Elliot did.
Because Elliot had made mistakes and been gently corrected. He’d had questions that were politely answered. He’d asked for help and received it. Atticus tried too hard to be good to let himself make mistakes, kept his questions quiet, didn’t ask for help.
He could learn. He was working on it. But it was probably easy to resort to what was safe when he was already scared.
Elliot drew Atticus’ wet, gross face close enough that he could pepper kisses over his cheeks. “I’ll never give up on you. If things are falling apart, I’ll help you put it back together. You should talk to Michael. I can go with you if you want. Or I can help you write a letter. If you’re worried about getting the words out, put them on paper. And then you can talk when you’re ready, but they’ll know–and if they know you’re not happy, or if you’re scared, they’ll help. I’m sure there’s something we can do about this,” he promised. “So don’t give up hope or anything, Atticus. It’s okay to be scared. But it’s okay to ask for help, too. Nobody who loves you wants to carry stuff like this alone.”
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Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2025 8:39 am
Atticus made a noise somewhere between a sob and a laugh as Elliot peppered his face with kisses. He squirmed a little, as though trying to duck into Elliot’s shoulder even as his lips twitched into a wobbly smile.
“You’re so silly,” he whispered, but then lowered his voice even softer. “...and perfect.” His cheeks were hot and blotchy from crying, but now they were flushed pink with the sudden warmth that wasn’t just sadness anymore. And he felt a little ridiculous for it. Like he wasn’t supposed to feel so light when everything inside of him felt so heavy. But Elliot made it impossible not to. The kisses, the promises, his steady presence that didn’t leave, no matter how messy he got.
“You always know what to say. How do you do that?” His voice cracked a little, but there was a hint of something almost teasing underneath. Affection that quietly rose to the surface, despite everything.
“I don’t want to carry it alone,” he admitted, pressing closer and clinging without shame. “If you’re with me, maybe… maybe I can find the words. Even if it’s hard and terrifying and-- just don’t let go. Please.”
He tipped his head back just enough to brush a kiss against Elliot’s jaw. It was small and trembling, but full of sincerity and appreciation and love.
“You make me feel… like maybe I can be brave. Even if I don’t feel it. I love you so much,” he sniffled, followed by a quiet laugh that sounded damp and broken, but muffled against Elliot’s shoulder. “Ugh… I’m a mess. And you still look at me like I’m worth all this trouble. I don’t get it, but I’m so-- so grateful. More than I can ever say.”
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Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2025 8:40 am
“You’re not a mess,” Elliot promised, and the hand that had once been rubbing circles on Atticus’ back moved to stroke his hair now. He was careful; he knew how hard Atticus worked to make his hair look nice and he didn’t want to ruin it.
“You’re just having a hard time. That doesn’t mean you’re trouble, Atticus. You’re worth the world to me. I’ll stick with you through anything.”
Atticus’ face was warm when he pressed his lips to his skin again, so each kiss was quick and fleeting but he had plenty to give.
“And if that means helping you carry things every now and then, well! My arms are strong! I can help you carry anything! And when your legs get tired, I’ll just carry you too! Then you’ll never have to worry about me letting go, you’ll already be in my arms. I’ll be with you through anything, Atticus. You’re brave even without me, you know. I think sometimes you just need someone to tell you because you don’t always see it. But I see it. I see you. You’re always pushing forward, even when things are hard and terrifying. One day, I hope you can give yourself a little more credit, Atticus. I wish you could see yourself how I see you. But it’s okay if that takes time. I’m not going anywhere. Now, or ever. Promise.”
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Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2025 8:42 am
Atticus let out another hiccuping laugh, muffled against Elliot’s shoulder. “You would carry me,” he smiled as he whispered, almost incredulous but not because he doubted it. He knew Elliot liked scooping him up. He’d done it plenty of times before, and Atticus enjoyed every moment he had in Elliot’s arms. “You’re ridiculous… but I love you for it.” His lips twitched into the faintest smile. It was a bit shaky and wet with tears, but genuine.
The heaviness in his chest didn’t disappear, but Elliot made it bearable. Like every kiss, every word, every promise was holding him together, patching him up piece by piece.
“You make it sound so simple,” he sighed, nuzzling his wet face closer to Elliot’s shoulder and neck. “Like maybe I really can get through this.”
He pulled his head back enough to meet Elliot’s eyes, his own were red and wet, but the emotions there were raw and vulnerable, with softness and love very clear.
“I don’t know how you see brave in me, but… I want to believe you. If you already see it, then… maybe I can try to see it too,” he decided. His throat ached with the effort of speaking, but his voice was full of fragile hope.
“I love you,” he whispered, leaning up to brush a trembling kiss against Elliot’s lips. It was small and fleeting, but full of all the emotions he couldn’t put into words. “More than I ever thought I could love anyone. You’re my whole world, Ellie. I’m so, so glad that it’s you. And I wish I could explain how much it means that you’re here with me.”
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Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2025 8:43 am
“I love you too,” he said easily, like the words belonged on his lips, like they were meant to fill the space between them. “You don’t have to worry about explaining anything to me. I feel it. You know, in that way that there just aren’t words to say something? Like it’s a language that can’t be spoken? My heart already knows. I’ll always be here for you. Just like how you’ll always be here for me. We were supposed to be together, you and me.”
Would they have gotten so far if they weren’t?
Their paths crossed so many times that their lives were inseparably tangled together. Elliot wasn’t sure if he could imagine a life where Atticus wasn’t by his side. Or better, in his arms.
“So call me ridiculous if you want,” he said, like he was proud of it, “Maybe love makes me crazy. You definitely drive me crazy. But in a good way. The one where I just want to lay here and kiss you and spend the rest of the day telling you how perfect you are. I want to tell you all the things I love about you, and tell you how brave and strong and good and perfect you are, until my voice echoes in your head and chases away all the doubts you ever had. But I know you’ll get through this. Nobody’s going to let you not get through it. You’ve got so many people ready to be backup for you if things get too hard, Atticus. So even if it’s scary and even if it’s hard, there’s nothing in this world we wouldn’t do for you. Science, money, magic,” he shrugged. “...There’s gotta be a solution for everything out there. We’ll find it. Promise.”
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Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2025 8:43 am
Atticus let out another small laugh, a bit watery but warm. “You say so many kind things,” he hummed softly, although his voice cracked a little from the heaviness of everything still pressing against him. “But… I think I needed everything you said. I want everything you said. Maybe if you say them enough, I’ll be able to believe them easier.” His lips pulled at the corners into a small smile that wobbled slightly, but stayed.
He shifted then, reaching up to brush his thumb along Elliot’s cheekbone, as if trying to memorize him all over again. He knew Elliot, of course, but each passing month there seemed to be slightly new changes as he matured. He didn’t want to miss any of it.
“I don’t know how I got so lucky. I don’t think I ever deserved you, but I’m so happy you’re mine,” he said, his throat tightening around the words. “I want you to be with me when I talk to my dads, please. About all of this. About what scares me. I don’t think I can do it alone. But if you’re there, then maybe I can find the words. You make everything feel possible -- ah… I’ll probably cry through half of it… should we try wearing our earrings so you can translate? Oh… I guess I could share my thoughts with my dads but--”
He felt his cheeks burn suddenly, and quickly shook his head. “Um… maybe not. I have a lot of thoughts that are only meant for you.”
He leaned in, pressing another soft kiss to Elliot’s lips, letting it linger longer this time, a promise of his own. “I love you,” he whispered, voice caught on the words. “I’ll never stop loving you. You’re my heart, Ellie. Always.”
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Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2025 8:44 am
To be fair, Atticus had been pretty unlucky with everything he’d had to deal with before Elliot came into his life. He wasn’t sure he was really any sort of compensation.
He couldn’t take back all the bad things that had happened to Atticus, and he knew it wasn’t so easy as to just love it away. It’s not like healing was a liminal path anyway. There were a few steps forward, a few steps back, a few steps off to the side, and sometimes no steps at all.
He wasn’t in a rush to get anywhere with Atticus, he just wanted to be there with him.
“I love you, too.”
Simple, and honest, and given pause so Atticus had time to absorb the words.
“I’ll never stop loving you, either. You, and all those thoughts that are only meant for me.”
He flashed a small, reassuring smile.
“We can wear the earrings if you want me to translate for you. I’ll do it, I’d do anything for you. But I think your dads can give you as much time as you need to,” he reassured. “So if you want to take your time, or do it in pieces, we can do that. And even if you have to take a few breaks to cry, that’s okay. There’s no wrong way to do this, Atticus. Promise. It’ll be okay. You can do it. And I’ll support you, I’ll be back up. If you need it.”
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Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2025 8:45 am
Atticus let out a shaky breath, the tension in his chest softening a little at Elliot’s words. Once again, Atticus couldn’t help but think how Elliot always seemed to know what to say to help him, and he was grateful for it.
“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he breathed, his arms around Elliot to give him a gentle squeeze, taking comfort in his weight and protection. Letting the calm of Elliot’s presence sink into him. The thought of talking to his dads was still scary. Not because he was scared of them, but because he was afraid they’d tell him there actually wasn’t anything that could be done. That he’d just have to suck it up and deal with it. They’d say it gently and lovingly, of course, offering support and sympathy, but… Atticus just had to steel himself and his heart from breaking.
“Okay,” he whispered after a pause, his voice hushed but there was a steady sort of determination there as well. “Then we’ll do it together. However long it takes, however many breaks I need. I… I think I can be brave, if you’re with me.”
There was still uncertainty in everything, but… with Elliot, things would be okay.
“Thank you for always being my backup,” he said quietly, the words full of raw sincerity. “But mostly… thank you for being you. The only person I would want to tell all of my thoughts to.” Even as his cheeks flushed a bit more at the idea of Elliot knowing all of his thoughts.
Atticus brushed another kiss to Elliot’s lips, slower this time, as if sealing all of the promises they’d quietly made. “I love you,” he whispered again, softer but still as certain as ever. With Elliot with him, he was sure he could get through anything.
Fin!
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