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Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 9:51 pm
Ahem. Just a cheesy phrase I picked up somewhere:
If it ain't baroque, don't fix it!
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Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 11:12 pm
How many second violinists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they can't get that high!
*sniggers*
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Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 11:03 am
The conducter says to the bass: "You sound out of tune, how are your strings?" The bass checks his strings and replies: "The tension is the same for all of my strings" Then, the principal violist turns around and says: "Idiot! The tensions don't matter! The pegs all have to be parallel!"
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Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2006 5:37 pm
What is a violists' contraceptive?
Her personality.
oh! snap! That's horrible, I know...just repeating one I've heard!
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Posted: Thu Mar 02, 2006 4:19 pm
Q: A banjo player, an accordian player, and a viola player fall off a cliff. Who reaches the bottom first?
A: Who cares?
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Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 8:54 am
What's the definition of a minor second? Two violists playing in unison.
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Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 2:31 pm
Q: How do you get a viola section to play spiccato? A: Write a half note with the word 'soli' above it.
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Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 6:02 pm
The conductor notices that there's a fight going on between and violist and an oboe right before the oboe is due to go onstage for a solo. He goes over to see what the problem is. "What's going on?"he asks. "He broke my reed!" the oboe player says. So, the conductor turns to the violist and says, "Why'd you do that?" The violist says, "He had it coming! He turned one of my pegs, and he won't tell me which one!"
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Posted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 10:14 am
A cello and two violas go into a restaurant. They take their seats at a table and the waiter comes over. He says to the cello player, "May I take your order?" The cello player says, "I'll have a steak." The waiter says, "Would you like anything else with that? Soup?" "No." "Baked potato?" "No." "Vegetables?" The cello player replies, "Oh! They'll have what I'm having."
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