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 Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2005 3:00 am
well I'm making it my official duty to review EVERYTHING here. So yeah.... now i will begin ^_^
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Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2005 3:04 am
Shoryuken Literacy is not only restricted to roleplays. People write poems, songs, and short stories that people may like. This is a thread to let the guild members share thier literacy with each other. This is also a place to discuss what can be done to make it better. Be nice!! I will start off with a poem of mine. Emmotive Litanies
The weak are those who give in to the lies of others,
Taking in each word and making it truth,
hoping against hope that one day,
the lies will be thier own,
and not that of others.
The strong are those who are beaten,
horribly debased and humiliated,
but pick themselves back up,
only to rejoin the fight for life.
The strong and weak,
good and evil,
all are life,
and without one,
the other will never survive.
What do you think? this is good. I really think it sums up life nicely. Good job. I like it. But maybe you should add a couple of verses as it does seem a little short....
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Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2005 3:08 am
[ virtual.rain ]
[This poem is untitled for now...]
I am making my presence known,
In places where no one shall see me.
I am screaming your name,
Where voices are not heard.
I am wanting you,
At times when you don't need me.
I am left to cry by myself,
For you have left my life now
Ughh...my worst work yet.Maybe add a few words so it flows together a little more? Great idea, you really managed to get the emotions across when you were writing it. And dont say it was your worst work ever i reckon its pretty good smile
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Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2005 3:14 am
Yami Kokoro no Naka I am currently writing a book, or atleast, I'm attempting to stop being lazy long enought to write a book. I started the beginning of it the other day and thought maybe I would post it here. Excuse my pathetic attempts at book writing. I'm afraid I don't write very well. sweatdrop The Book of No Title The silent mountain land scape never offered much conversation,though it did conceal a secret like no other could. Gigantic thick trunked trees spread abundantly over the land, providing ample protection from over head predators. Thick, thorny undergrowth impeded all but the most experienced travelers from traversing the land. The two factors coupled made the ridges of Lloka-Tir virtually unexplored and untouched. Then again, most travelers who were well versed in the ways of the land had enough sense not to attempt to breach the inner sanctions of Lloka-Tir. Stories had easily spread through out the Trinity Lands emanating the horrible prowess of the ridges. Those who attempted to get to the fabled and much famed treasure within often came back ridden with insanity. More often than not, they didn't return at all. There had been one incident that had caused all traffic into the area to be restricted into the ridges and the surrounding area. The third princess of the Dark Trinity province Subsisteria, had happened to come upon a map detailing the entire trail line of the Lloka-Tir Mountain area. In an excited frenzy, an experienced and rather expert traveling guide had been hired to escort her and a guard of 16 men into the thick forests to find the treasure. No one knew quite what happened in the shadowy depths of the Lloka, a particularly infamous stretch of land that many people were killed in, but when the princess came back, bloody and beaten and half dead, with no one but a small child in her arms,all traffic became null. I apologize if this is like spam to your wonderful writers. its not like spam.... I HATE IT WHEN WONDERFUL WRITERS SAY THEY SUCK!!!!! IT PISSES ME OFF TO NO END!!!! well since I've got that off my chest lets move onto reviewing your work.... its very imaginitive and I like your writing style. Is this the introduction? because it seems to linger on the scenery quite a bit and not much on the characters. But havng said that I love the description because it creates a very vivid picture in my mind ^_^ keep up the great work!!
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Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2005 3:19 am
Dragon Ladysupreme This is wordy, and repetitive for emotional significance. You don't know why I repeated a certain line so many times after reading it still, then PM me about it. A bit misleading till you read on, with what it's about. How Dare You.
How Dare You.
How dare you.
How dare you say goodbye
After leaving such emotion attached
Only to break it away.
How dare you.
I thought that we would stay together
That we would be brought together again
But goodbye is a permanent thing.
How dare you.
You made me think you cared.
You just took my heart
And cut it loose so soon.
I thought I loved you
But now that you've said goodbye
I can only hate you
For loving you so much.
I hate the way you made me laugh
Laughing so hard you made me cry.
I hate the way you made me smile
The way I never did before.
I hate the way you did every little thing.
How close we became
And how you made me feel.
You were the only one that made me feel complete.
I hate the way you said my name.
I hate that glimmer in your face
With the gleam in you eyes.
Oh how you deceived me.
You said 'It will only be a while'
And that you'll 'return before you know it'?
But then why say goodbye,
If you were to return to my side.
Why not a 'see you later'
Or a 'I'll be back'
Without a 'goodbye' attached?
Was that a sign?
Did you say goodbye knowing what would happen?
That you would never return?
A feeling of foreboding
That you felt was definitely coming.
I waited for you
In the months that passed
Yet you never returned.
But still I kept hope.
It wasn't till that day
That someone that wasn't you came to my door.
In the same uniform I remember you wore.
Bringing his hat down as I opened that door.
That was when my world came down.
What he said I couldn't believe
And how you left me.
You actually left!
I don't care if I'm being selfish
You were mine only
And you left for others
Never returning again.
You lied
And I believed you
As you believed yourself.
We both thought that you would come home.
Forever I will remember our last moments
And how the tears fell.
You left loved and a hero
And left the world the same way.
But really,
How dare you
You actually said goodbye
But still made me think you'd return.
Now I'm alone
Without the one I truly loved.
And what for?
A war that didn't resolve still with your efforts.
I cry for you
Your sweat, blood and tears
Your sacrifice
Your life. and you made me cry. HOW DARE YOU!!!! seriously this is an awesome poem. The emotions come across very strongly. Was this based on a real experience? I wish I could write as well as you!! well nothing really I can suggest to make it better. I like it just the way it is. Keep up the great work!!
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Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2005 3:23 am
Sin Marai I spend alot of time writing, so if my stepbrother didn't have it out for me, I'd have a lot of poems and such.
What I did manage to recover is all found on my fictionpress account, which is my www link.
Though I really only have one poem I'm truly proud of.
Requiem of a Broken Dream
Fall into thine arms
For come morn thou shall not recall
the merriment and joy that once each night thou saw.
Fall into thine arms
as the bowels of hell do stand before us,
and the death bell doth toll 'til nigh.
Fall into thine arms
as we drink the golden light
that penetrates thine eyes.
For the moon be our lady friend,
'til the morning light brings this broken dream her end. Great... but I couldn't understand some of the language confused I'm so mad at your stepbrother!!! write more and post it here soon..... ummm you seem to be repeating " fall into thine arms" alot and tht sort of confuses me. other than that its awesome biggrin
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Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2005 3:36 am
Ritualistic Testament
Sheen; the texture is almost glass,
Livid; it ripples, a dripping,
Still...& Silent, till a labouring breath,
Cold; & Pallid, I've lost forthwith.
Shudder; Excruciate, like fire drenched wine,
Lament; O'er glanced the page,
Memoirs; Written in blood they smear. this is so touching... although i'm not so sure whats its about confused
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Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2005 1:29 pm
YAY!!!! I"M BACk...... did anyone miss me? *cricket chirps* well apparently not. Oh well
The road goes ever on you know...... And I with it.
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Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2005 1:34 pm
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2005 1:40 pm
Well I'm just going to interupt this facinating reviewing with mine own poem smile *wistfully imagines cries of joy while in reality the damn cricket chirps*
What is life
But a dream?
What is a dream
But a memory?
What is love
but an illusion?
Shadows
Are
All around us
Yet I
Have found
That
Sweet
Illusion
Called
Love.
I Love
My
Sweet
Shadow
~owari~
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Black Bloody Roses Captain
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Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 6:57 pm
Save Me Lest I Fall The waves of the sea crash against this cliff,
If down I go, away I'll drift,
The thunder claps, the sea's unclear,
But even this gives my heart no cause to fear,
I beg you, save me lest I fall,
And if I do, don't save me at all.
I stand upon the highest wall,
Walls so high, walls so tall,
My heart is ripped in more than two,
I cannot think of what to do,
I beg you, save me lest I fall,
And if I do, don't save me at all.
I stand upon the mountain peaks,
Thinking of ho my life's been bleak,
I want to drop, yes, it's true,
But I want to live as much as you,
I beg you, save me lest I fall,
And if I do, don't save me at all.
I sit upon the edge of Earth,
Wishing to undo my birth,
I want to leave, free of pain,
But I want to drop, again and again,
I beg you, save me lest I fall,
And if I do, don't save me at all.
The clouds so high they pass me by,
As up I go, so high, so high,
My spirit soars, my heart is free,
In the heavens at peace, my soul shall be,
I asked you to save me lest I fall,
You weren't there to save me at all.
Save Me Lest I Fall is not one of my very best. it's soemthing I wrote sometime ago when my heart was broken. Not by a lover, no, but by a friend that died. The poem idicates a lover but in the last line where it states "I asked you to save me lest I fall, You weren't there to save me at all" it meant the person has already been dead. It does sound suicidal, but it is not. It starts out from lower heights to higher. The 'high' means something -drugs. No, I never did them, but I everyone told me it would ease the pain. I didn't want to though. even though this poem isn't me at my best, it means much more to me than anyone could possibly know.
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Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 10:32 pm
Dying Is Such Sweet Sorrow
The clouds darkened with the feeling of misery.
I could smell the dank scent of fresh blood.
Vultures circled overhead, as I tried unsuccessfully to keep the bile down.
I fell to my knees as I touched the pale hand of a corpse that used to be a dear friend.
Her lips were blue with frost, the same color as her irises as they stared blankly at the darkened sky.
Why her? God has taken everything else from me. WHY HER?!?
I brushed a strand of auburn hair away from her cold and clammy brow.
I was covered in blood as the blood thirsty maniac stood behind me.
I was next.
I closed my eyes briefly and opened them for the very last time, as a crystaline tear trailed down my cheek, leaving a shimmering path in its wake.
I felt the knife burrow its way into my heart and then I knew no more.
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Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2005 7:04 am
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2005 5:57 am
Well I suck at writing, but here are some poems from moi. Let me know what joo think.
A Pretty Picture
Telling me always what I want to hear,
Ignoring all those things I fear.
You tell me I won't fade away,
You tell me I won't be alone,
I listen silently to your words,
Watch me as I turn to stone.
Tomorrow brings another day,
But you won't ask me to stay.
You simply tell me to pack and leave,
Pointy little words you speak,
Hooks and splinters in my skin,
But as you smile the pain sustains,
Watch the tears drip from my veins.
Words and threats mean nothing here,
You tell me nothing but what I fear.
Pointy words and butterflies,
You paint me a pretty picture,
Hooks and splinters shine in your eyes.
Oh the wonderful things I see,
A pretty picture you made just for me,
Painted with everything I despise,
A pretty picture of your lies.
Empty Salvation
One, two, three,
Come now won't you count with me.
Counting down inside your head,
Until the day when I am dead.
Relinquish all your pain to me,
Watch me drifting endlessly.
Another day, another death,
Drawing sorrow in with every breath.
All you do is sit and cry,
Why don't you stand up and just try.
To be something, to make a choice,
Praise to your God, why not rejoice?
Because your God is not watching you,
I think he had better things to do,
Like sit on his a** and ignore your pleas,
Watching you, praying on your knees.
You think he only ignores your prayers,
You think he just pushes you down the stairs,
Nothing but a coward is what you are,
Afraid to be yourself,
You watch your own life from afar.
Singing Faces
Love...
What is it but sticks and stones,
Those simple words that break your bones?
Those words that are made to break your heart,
You're just a victim, playing your part.
It's a threnody for modern romance,
An endless waltz, a madman's dance.
It's a requiem for salvation,
An elegy of damnation.
A lamentation for loves embrace,
An eternal epitaph of the face,
Of the face that sang for you,
A hymn, a monody, just for you.
Embrace it like you would a child,
Grasp the love, so gentle, so wild,
You give yourself up, just for it,
One word, one face, that's it,
Love...
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Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2005 8:26 pm
T.R.
This feeling for you,
To love you is what I hate
Wishing to feel the way you do
Living with a feeling that was realized too late
The heart breaks in your absence,
But melts when I glance
I miss having your presence,
Regret missing my chance
Forced to remember those good times,
Basking in a false dream
I pray for redemption from my crimes,
Your silence is a bitter requiem
I wish I could hate,
To ignore a love so great
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