[Ro]
gonk being singles not fun. ;-;
Particularly right after it happens, but it does get easier to deal with. Never more fun, but eventually being awake isn't a living hell. After that, you can got to the places that you went together and see his friends without bawling. Finally, you'll be able to face him.
Ro, you're going to make it through this. From your posts, I can tell that you're strong inside, and that you've been through a lot. You will survive this, even though it feels like there's no reason to right now. I know that you can make it through.