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 Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 3:41 pm
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-werewolf-grl-743- ooooooook im new. ((duuuur)) lol. ok i will try to be at least close to literate. i can't make promises on good spelling or caps, but i'll try. here's my RP example:: when chris left rose appeared at his side. "chris dont." when she got him 2 calm down she looked at kloud and got pissed, and no1 liked her when she was pissed b/c she didn't look at all like herself. "WAT THE HELL IS UR PROBLEM?!?!?!? do u realize how freakin stupid u r? doing that in front of her. u dumb a**. if u weren't holding char I'd kick u so hard your gonna wish u were dead. o and one more thing." she made char duck real quick and she punched him square across the face breaking his nose. "DON'T EVER FREAK CHAR OUT LIKE TAT AGAIN!!!!!" seeeeee. ill be on 2morro.
*Resists temptation to pull out red pen again*
Don't use things like 'u dumb person'. Instead, at least try to use something along the lines of 'you dumb person'. D: And don't EVER include a number if you aren't describing quantity of something, but even so, I'd rather you spell it out. : / And try not to overuse the capital letters. |
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Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 3:48 pm
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-werewolf-grl-743- ooooooook im new. ((duuuur)) lol. ok i will try to be at least close to literate. i can't make promises on good spelling or caps, but i'll try. here's my RP example:: When Chris left , Rose appeared at his side. " Chris , don 't." When she got him to calm down, she looked at Kloud and got pissed, and no one liked her when she was pissed because she didn't look at all like herself. "W HAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!?!?!? Do you realize how freaking stupid you are, doing that in front of her ? You dumb a**. If you weren't holding Char , I'd kick you so hard you 're gonna wish you were dead. Oh and one more thing ," she made Char duck quickly and she punched him square across the face breaking his nose. "DON'T EVER FREAK CHAR OUT LIKE T HAT AGAIN!!!!!" seeeeee. ill be on 2morro.
*red pen of DOOM >:]* |
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Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 3:56 pm
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Sickjeremiah Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 3:56 pm
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xX_hang_me_higher_Xx -werewolf-grl-743- ooooooook im new. ((duuuur)) lol. ok i will try to be at least close to literate. i can't make promises on good spelling or caps, but i'll try. here's my RP example:: When Chris left , Rose appeared at his side. " Chris don 't." When she got him to calm down, she looked at Kloud and got pissed, and no one liked her when she was pissed because she didn't look at all like herself. "W HAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!?!?!? Do you realize how freaking stupid you are, doing that in front of her ? You dumb a**. If you weren't holding Char , I'd kick you so hard you 're gonna wish you were dead. Oh and one more thing ," she made Char duck quickly and she punched him square across the face breaking his nose. "DON'T EVER FREAK CHAR OUT LIKE T HAT AGAIN!!!!!" seeeeee. ill be on 2morro. *red pen of DOOM >:]*
Major editing ! |
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Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 3:58 pm
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Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 4:02 pm
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xX_hang_me_higher_Xx lenon01 Muahahaha! *Pulls out giant pen* You still mist a bit, though. : / The first part of the dialogue should be "Chris, don't!" Oh crap, you're right! >_< damn I'll change that *pulls out giant-er pen* :]
*Notices horrible mistake and goes back to fix it*
Ah...problem solved. ;D
Is it okay if I go and just build up the city? I'm bored and have nothing better to do. xD |
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Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 4:04 pm
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xX_hang_me_higher_Xx -werewolf-grl-743- ooooooook im new. ((duuuur)) lol. ok i will try to be at least close to literate. i can't make promises on good spelling or caps, but i'll try. here's my RP example:: When Chris left , Rose appeared at his side. " Chris don 't." When she got him to calm down, she looked at Kloud and got pissed, and no one liked her when she was pissed because she didn't look at all like herself. "W HAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!?!?!? Do you realize how freaking stupid you are, doing that in front of her ? You dumb a**. If you weren't holding Char , I'd kick you so hard you 're gonna wish you were dead. Oh and one more thing ," she made Char duck quickly and she punched him square across the face breaking his nose. "DON'T EVER FREAK CHAR OUT LIKE T HAT AGAIN!!!!!" seeeeee. ill be on 2morro. *red pen of DOOM >:]*
You need to put a line between when different people speak to avoid confusion. I really can't tell who's speaking in that paragraph. Also, maybe involve some description of the scene, describe how people are feeling and whats going through thier heads. Is it too sunny to suit such a dismal scene? Is the sky above reflecting the torrent of emotions poured forth by the little party? |
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Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 4:06 pm
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o8Orobouros8o xX_hang_me_higher_Xx -werewolf-grl-743- ooooooook im new. ((duuuur)) lol. ok i will try to be at least close to literate. i can't make promises on good spelling or caps, but i'll try. here's my RP example:: When Chris left , Rose appeared at his side. " Chris don 't." When she got him to calm down, she looked at Kloud and got pissed, and no one liked her when she was pissed because she didn't look at all like herself. "W HAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!?!?!? Do you realize how freaking stupid you are, doing that in front of her ? You dumb a**. If you weren't holding Char , I'd kick you so hard you 're gonna wish you were dead. Oh and one more thing ," she made Char duck quickly and she punched him square across the face breaking his nose. "DON'T EVER FREAK CHAR OUT LIKE T HAT AGAIN!!!!!" seeeeee. ill be on 2morro. *red pen of DOOM >:]* You need to put a line between when different people speak to avoid confusion. I really can't tell who's speaking in that paragraph. Also, maybe involve some description of the scene, describe how people are feeling and whats going through thier heads. Is it too sunny to suit such a dismal scene? Is the sky above reflecting the torrent of emotions poured forth by the little party?
Exactly biggrin Oh, and by the way- I loved your description words! |
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Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 4:23 pm
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xX_hang_me_higher_Xx o8Orobouros8o xX_hang_me_higher_Xx -werewolf-grl-743- ooooooook im new. ((duuuur)) lol. ok i will try to be at least close to literate. i can't make promises on good spelling or caps, but i'll try. here's my RP example:: When Chris left , Rose appeared at his side. " Chris don 't." When she got him to calm down, she looked at Kloud and got pissed, and no one liked her when she was pissed because she didn't look at all like herself. "W HAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!?!?!? Do you realize how freaking stupid you are, doing that in front of her ? You dumb a**. If you weren't holding Char , I'd kick you so hard you 're gonna wish you were dead. Oh and one more thing ," she made Char duck quickly and she punched him square across the face breaking his nose. "DON'T EVER FREAK CHAR OUT LIKE T HAT AGAIN!!!!!" seeeeee. ill be on 2morro. *red pen of DOOM >:]* You need to put a line between when different people speak to avoid confusion. I really can't tell who's speaking in that paragraph. Also, maybe involve some description of the scene, describe how people are feeling and whats going through thier heads. Is it too sunny to suit such a dismal scene? Is the sky above reflecting the torrent of emotions poured forth by the little party? Exactly biggrin Oh, and by the way- I loved your description words!
Why thank you! |
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Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 4:24 pm
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o8Orobouros8o xX_hang_me_higher_Xx o8Orobouros8o xX_hang_me_higher_Xx -werewolf-grl-743- ooooooook im new. ((duuuur)) lol. ok i will try to be at least close to literate. i can't make promises on good spelling or caps, but i'll try. here's my RP example:: When Chris left , Rose appeared at his side. " Chris don 't." When she got him to calm down, she looked at Kloud and got pissed, and no one liked her when she was pissed because she didn't look at all like herself. "W HAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!?!?!? Do you realize how freaking stupid you are, doing that in front of her ? You dumb a**. If you weren't holding Char , I'd kick you so hard you 're gonna wish you were dead. Oh and one more thing ," she made Char duck quickly and she punched him square across the face breaking his nose. "DON'T EVER FREAK CHAR OUT LIKE T HAT AGAIN!!!!!" seeeeee. ill be on 2morro. *red pen of DOOM >:]* You need to put a line between when different people speak to avoid confusion. I really can't tell who's speaking in that paragraph. Also, maybe involve some description of the scene, describe how people are feeling and whats going through thier heads. Is it too sunny to suit such a dismal scene? Is the sky above reflecting the torrent of emotions poured forth by the little party? Exactly biggrin Oh, and by the way- I loved your description words! Why thank you!
No problem :] |
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Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 4:25 pm
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o8Orobouros8o xX_hang_me_higher_Xx o8Orobouros8o xX_hang_me_higher_Xx -werewolf-grl-743- ooooooook im new. ((duuuur)) lol. ok i will try to be at least close to literate. i can't make promises on good spelling or caps, but i'll try. here's my RP example:: When Chris left , Rose appeared at his side. " Chris don 't." When she got him to calm down, she looked at Kloud and got pissed, and no one liked her when she was pissed because she didn't look at all like herself. "W HAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!?!?!? Do you realize how freaking stupid you are, doing that in front of her ? You dumb a**. If you weren't holding Char , I'd kick you so hard you 're gonna wish you were dead. Oh and one more thing ," she made Char duck quickly and she punched him square across the face breaking his nose. "DON'T EVER FREAK CHAR OUT LIKE T HAT AGAIN!!!!!" seeeeee. ill be on 2morro. *red pen of DOOM >:]* You need to put a line between when different people speak to avoid confusion. I really can't tell who's speaking in that paragraph. Also, maybe involve some description of the scene, describe how people are feeling and whats going through thier heads. Is it too sunny to suit such a dismal scene? Is the sky above reflecting the torrent of emotions poured forth by the little party? Exactly biggrin Oh, and by the way- I loved your description words! Why thank you!
Are you going to post your profile ? |
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Sickjeremiah Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 4:32 pm
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Sickjeremiah o8Orobouros8o xX_hang_me_higher_Xx o8Orobouros8o xX_hang_me_higher_Xx -werewolf-grl-743- ooooooook im new. ((duuuur)) lol. ok i will try to be at least close to literate. i can't make promises on good spelling or caps, but i'll try. here's my RP example:: When Chris left , Rose appeared at his side. " Chris don 't." When she got him to calm down, she looked at Kloud and got pissed, and no one liked her when she was pissed because she didn't look at all like herself. "W HAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!?!?!? Do you realize how freaking stupid you are, doing that in front of her ? You dumb a**. If you weren't holding Char , I'd kick you so hard you 're gonna wish you were dead. Oh and one more thing ," she made Char duck quickly and she punched him square across the face breaking his nose. "DON'T EVER FREAK CHAR OUT LIKE T HAT AGAIN!!!!!" seeeeee. ill be on 2morro. *red pen of DOOM >:]* You need to put a line between when different people speak to avoid confusion. I really can't tell who's speaking in that paragraph. Also, maybe involve some description of the scene, describe how people are feeling and whats going through thier heads. Is it too sunny to suit such a dismal scene? Is the sky above reflecting the torrent of emotions poured forth by the little party? Exactly biggrin Oh, and by the way- I loved your description words! Why thank you! Are you going to post your profile ?
Hold your chocobos, I'm trying to find something. Besides, greatness take time young grasshopper. |
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Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 4:38 pm
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o8Orobouros8o Sickjeremiah o8Orobouros8o xX_hang_me_higher_Xx o8Orobouros8o You need to put a line between when different people speak to avoid confusion. I really can't tell who's speaking in that paragraph. Also, maybe involve some description of the scene, describe how people are feeling and whats going through thier heads. Is it too sunny to suit such a dismal scene? Is the sky above reflecting the torrent of emotions poured forth by the little party? Exactly biggrin Oh, and by the way- I loved your description words! Why thank you! Are you going to post your profile ? Hold your chocobos, I'm trying to find something. Besides, greatness take time young grasshopper.
exclaim Chocobos exclaim I love Final Fantasy! My favorite is Final Fantasy VII ! |
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Sickjeremiah Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 4:42 pm
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Sickjeremiah o8Orobouros8o Sickjeremiah o8Orobouros8o xX_hang_me_higher_Xx o8Orobouros8o You need to put a line between when different people speak to avoid confusion. I really can't tell who's speaking in that paragraph. Also, maybe involve some description of the scene, describe how people are feeling and whats going through thier heads. Is it too sunny to suit such a dismal scene? Is the sky above reflecting the torrent of emotions poured forth by the little party? Exactly biggrin Oh, and by the way- I loved your description words! Why thank you! Are you going to post your profile ? Hold your chocobos, I'm trying to find something. Besides, greatness take time young grasshopper. Chocobos exclaim I love Final Fantasy! My favorite is Final Fantasy VII !
forget that give me the Original Final Fantasy any day I will ninja my way right through that game. |
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