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I confess that I hate my mother.

I have run out of meds and mom promised she would get them for me last week. I told her that I would go and walk to the pharmacy this morning to get them because she still hadn't gotten them for me. I woke up this morning to find that my mom had taken the prescription with her to work. There is no way I can get them without the prescription. So, I'm without them until she comes home from work which won't be until this afternoon.

My doctor told me if I ever go off them, that I have to ease off of them over a two week period... I can't just stop taking them because it'll make me sick. Already, I'm shaky and feeling sick. I have no idea what to do. I guess it would be a drug withdrawal because I haven't taken them. I have a ballet class this afternoon and I really don't want to go to class without my medication in me. I have missed them before and it made me really sick and nauseated. That was when I was still easing onto the drugs as well. I'm now on the full dosage so I'm expecting this to be worse.

I just feel so ******** sick and anxious. All I feel like doing is curling up in a ball under the table and dying. I can't seem to control my emotions this morning already. I couldn't find the prescription, I broke down crying under the table. I called mom, she said she'd bring them home from work today, I started crying again. Now I'm here shaking like hell and feeling sick and I just want to curl up and die.

I'm okay now... I have my meds in me...

I confess that I just had my first round of accupuncture for acne xd . Apparently my problem all comes down to a digestive problem which can not only account for the acne but also my anxiety. I have diabetes in the family and know that I have trouble controlling my sugar levels. The accupuncturist said that I have poor circulation to my stomach because the skin is dryer and colder than the rest of me and that can be linked to my problems. My adrenal glands have trouble controlling the blood sugar level thus sending great or too less adrenalin into my body to control sugar levels. This influx in adrenalin causes my anxiety. The adrenalin causes glycogen in my liver to break down into glucose (stress response as you need energy in emergencies) thus increasing my sugar levels. The sugar then all diffuses into my cells and gives me my constant headaches. The constant influxes of hormones causes my acne. So, I need to make sure I get heaps of B complex and try and control my sugar levels better crying

The visit was really quite good though. First he felt around and put crosses on me where it hurt to press on. He put a pin in my foot and I didn't even feel it until he flicked it, and I got this herb stuff squished into my skin on pressure points that he found and burnt them eek . I was in there for an hour and a half and ended up spacing out and getting dizzy... I also had to take my shirt off crying

Edit: It was really funny because he was pressing on my back and my stomach was flinching and then he was pressing on my tummy and my feet were twitching. When he was working on my feet, my leg kept twitching xd . He said that would be from me going into stress response and having an influx of adrenalin in my body sweatdrop . It also explains why I don't like being touched and am extremely ticklish sweatdrop

Yeah, it was. I have to go back every week for five more appointments 3nodding

yes, i agree, and mel you know if you ever need someone to burn herbs off your Skin, im always a Short Plane ticket away. heart blaugh

Scoot Scoot, that's what makeup is for, to hide stuff 3nodding . Besides, it's not just on my face either crying It's always so itchy and deep and my doctor is trying everything he can because it's starting to scar crying



@Rhi Rhi: eek



@Weylok: Why is it that you think you hate yourself? Did something happen to make you feel like this? There's no reason for you to hate yourself, you're such a nice and caring guy. You always help me when I have problems, you're always there to talk to, you've helped me so much. Please don't hate yourself, you've tried and tried to stop me from hating myself. You know that if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here. All you have to do is open up a convo box and i'll listen, I'll help okay? Take care Weylok heart

I confess that I love you all, and depending on how I feel and what I do tonight, this may be the last time I tell you this.

I confess that I just ******** up again. Goodbye everyone.

Chemmy, what's wrong?

(And accupuncture's evil. Needles. >>)