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 Posted: Thu Sep 09, 2010 12:45 pm
Watching the two nations beside him interact, Heracles couldn't help but feel a little lonely. 'Three is a crowd..' He found himself thinking this common phrase which he heard occasionally, but before now had never really understood. Looking for something to distract himself, the Greek glanced around the room. Kiku seemed to be having a lot of fun with America, which made him feel slightly better. At least the Japanese nation wasn't letting the previous events of today upset him too much.
Glancing at the pair beside him, he registered a different expression on Russia's face. Confusion? But why? Unable to see Yao's face, Heracles could only guess. "Is everything ok?" The Greek directed the question at both nations, although he highly doubted that the Russian would answer. Still it was worth a try, right?
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Posted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 12:49 am
Motioning for the driver to continue, Roderich couldn't help but let out a little chuckle at the ex-nation's response. He was a little relieved that the man didn't glare daggers or attempt to hit him... Thinking on that brought up some confusing mental questions. Why did Gilbert hate him so much, and what had provoked it in the beginning? The Austrian wondered whether he or his bosses had done something... And perhaps his recollection was flawed. Maybe he'd seriously offended Prussia, or something similar... But as far as he could recall, they'd been fighting for so many years now that he couldn't remember the source of this bitterness.
But now was not the time to ask about it. Gilbert seemed pretty calm now, so it was best not to provoke him. A little playful banter was fine, Roderich supposed, but the heavy questions he wished to ask... He'd wait until the albino felt better. However long that would be.
'We're here.' After the brief five or ten minute trip, the taxi pulled up outside Roderich's home, a sight which the Austrian was glad to see. He chanced a glance across at Gilbert, reaching to shake the man's shoulder with a gentle, careful touch. 'You've not gone to sleep with that in your mouth, have you?' After all, that was dangerous.
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'I've been thinking of nothing but my own selfish wants... Haven't I?' Yao attempted a little smile, though it did not reach his eyes; they were rather worried and still a little saddened. The nation looked down at their clasped hands, then up at Ivan again with a weak laugh. 'I'm so unwilling to let go... I've probably... Been so strange and awkward, and so unlike myself today, aru... And it's... It's unfair. It's unfair on you, and it's unfair of me to put you through this... When you've been a good friend to me. I...'
He found it very difficult to speak. Not because he didn't believe in his own words -because truly, he did-... It was due to how hard it was to realise how badly he'd been acting. 'I'm... Just a spoilt brat, aren't I? Not... Not a good friend at all...' He glanced across at Japan, swallowing. How his little brother made friends so seamlessly and without fault was incredible... It made Yao want to have such an ability.
Then again, he realised that it'd be selfish to want that, too. It had been selfish to try and be friends with Greece, selfish to ask the two nations to go somewhere that he -Yao- himself wanted to go, and selfish to put Ivan through this after the Cold War... And to top it all off, he'd been so... Physical with the Russian and it'd probably been so uncomfortable and awkward to be around the asian. And not only that, Heracles had risked losing his closest friendship with Japan... In fact, it looked like he had done.
So, when asked whether everything was alright...
'I-I'll be right back... S-sorry, aru...' Yao choked out, letting go of Ivan's hand as he scrambled to stand up. 'I just... O-oh... Never mind...!' He tried to add a lighter tone to the distress in his voice, only making himself sound a little hysterical in the process. He couldn't deal with his guilt. He couldn't deal with looking Ivan in the face and trying to apologise for all he'd done that day... And the meeting hadn't even started. He needed to calm down... And needed to apologise properly. And needed to pray that Ivan wouldn't hate him for this...
But that was selfish too.
Yao fled the room with more empty promises of a prompt return, heading again to the bathroom that had been the scene of so much negativity. Even the mental thought that it was cursed did not raise a smile... After a few attempts, the short nation was able to lift himself so that he could sit on one of the small spaces between the sinks -luckily, he could fit- before looking down at his hands. He realised then that he'd taken Ivan's glove with him.
As he looked at the glove, his eyes began to blur and lose focus. His face felt warm but his body felt cold... So cold. The asian wept bitter tears of self-hate, clutching the glove tightly to himself.
Ivan... Could do so much better for himself. To have... A better friend, like Kiku...
Perhaps... It was best. It was best for Yao to isolate himself, like this. Russia would lose interest in him quickly... And find better friends, who'd not be so selfish or so physical.
Realisation hurt.
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High-functioning Ladykiller
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Posted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 7:40 am
The touch on his shoulder, a gentle push, jolted Gilbert out of his blissful lack of thoughts. He opened his red eyes and flashed the Austrian an annoyed look that was lessened due to the bleariness. "Of course not," he retorted, rolling his eyes and looking away.
A new wave of dizziness passed through him. The cloth was dry, now, so it had been doing him no good. He had set it beside him a little while ago, instead opting to simply bear with the fever. Unfortunately, it was hard to ignore something that was making one feel absolutely lousy.
A faint groan slipped from his lips as dizziness and nausea flowed through him, a shiver shaking his form.
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Posted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 7:49 am
Ignoring Greece, Ivan instead focused on his troubled friend, eyes showing a sliver of concern. When the Asian started going into a guilty fit, Ivan's eyes widened a hair and he shook his head. "Nyet," he argued, but it was too late. Yao got to his feet and fled, leaving a pain in the Russian's heart. He left. Like everyone else. But...no, not this time.
Fighting against everything he had previously told himself when someone left him lately, Ivan got to his feet and calmly followed, giving the Asian a few minutes head start. His bare hand was slipped into his pocket, keeping it both hidden and slightly warmer than if it was in the open.
Walking into the bathroom quietly, glancing around. The small Asian was sitting on the counter, staring down at his glove and crying.
"Yao..." he murmured softly, his smile gone and the faint sliver of concern still in his eyes. He closed the door behind him and stood awkwardly in front of it, not knowing what to do.
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High-functioning Ladykiller
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Posted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 2:21 pm
'I'll just not bother next time, hm? I'm sure you'd much prefer for me to have to resuscitate you.' Roderich rolled his eyes a little, finding that his sunnier mood had depleted to nothing in a mere few moments. Gilbert seemed to have gotten quite moody, and it was hard for the Austrian to remain upbeat. 'I'm sure you'd prefer that.' Then again, he couldn't be angry... It'd be low of him to be irritated by the sick. He had to be more forgiving... He knew he would be if it'd been anyone else.
'Come on. It's nicer indoors.' Roderich got out of the taxi after paying the rather healthy sum, walking around the other side in order to open the door for the albino. 'You can have some medicine after a good meal.' He supposed it was a bad idea to take medicine on an empty stomach, so he'd cook Gilbert something... It looked as if the man could do with a good square meal. Maybe it'd bring a little life into him again. He reached to offer assistance to the ex-nation, not wanting for the man to fall out onto the road.
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'A-ah...!' Yao jolted in surprise, having been so deep in his distress that he'd not heard Ivan come in. He dropped the glove when startled, though made no move to retrieve it. There was no point... It'd seem strange if he did. And to be considered stranger than the Russian probably thought of him today...
Which reminded him. Ivan. Ivan shouldn't have followed. 'I-Ivan... I said I'd... B-be back...' The asian's voice held no conviction, no steely want to assure his friend. 'I... Never m-meant... To i-ignore or betray you. I... I'm sorry. I'm sorry, aru...' He began to ramble a little, swallowing with a shuddered breath. He made no effort to wipe his own tears away, knowing that more would only replace them and it'd be a losing battle. In fact, everything right now seemed to be an uphill struggle, and he felt like not bothering to fight it anymore. What would be, would be.
When he chanced a look up at Ivan, his eyes filled again. 'Ivan... I-Ivan...' He whimpered, reaching one hand towards the man with a sniffle. 'Ivan...' He craved comfort. And, seeming as the Russian had been the only one to follow him -he was partly glad of it- he wanted it from him.
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Posted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 2:45 pm
Pushing back his temper for the time being, Gilbert bit down his reply and closed his eyes for a breath moment, thinking of thoughts that did not relate to giving the Austrian a piece of his mind. He didn't want to deal with anyone, let alone someone who 1) had no idea how to care for someone who was sick and 2) fought how many wars against him - even if the Austrian lost nearly all of them.
Opening his red eyes again as the door opened, the albino glanced up blearily at Roderich. Indoors sounded nice. Medicine, too. Although, food merely made his nausea grow. When he got this bad, his body tended to shun food to the point of not allowing him to keep anything down for much longer than a couple minutes. The most he could handle, at this point, was probably soup broth or something similar.
As a testament to how lousy he felt, Gilbert accepted the assistance without a word. It bit into his pride and he felt a twinge of shame run through him. After all, he wasn't a nation anymore. He wasn't who he was anymore. Time had changed both. He was pretty much human, now. His pride was all he had left to remember the days where people had looked to him as something more than a bother. He wiped that thought from his mind, not wanting to dwell on it.
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High-functioning Ladykiller
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High-functioning Ladykiller
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Posted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 3:02 pm
Eyes widening ever-so-slightly as the Asian crumbled, Ivan stared in shock. Yao was apologizing for things he had never done. Never had he betrayed him, or ignored him. Even now that he was trying to gain new allies, Yao still paid attention to him, despite Ivan's reputation and personality driving people away.
"Nyet," he argued again, shaking his head. "Did not ignore. Did not betray. Nyet." He desperately wished he was still fluent in English so that he could convey what he truly meant, but he wasn't. It took time for him to gather up the knowledge to be able to speak properly and he did not have the time.
When Yao reached out to him, he walked forward and carefully brushed his bare fingers under his eyes, brushing away the tears much like an adult would do for a child. Much like Svitlana had done for him when he was small.
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Posted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 8:22 pm
"It's hard to say, Alfred-san," Kiku murmured, "Half of me wishes I could joke around and have an easy conversation with China-san, just like you and Arthur-san. The other half of me wants nothing to do with China-san and is telling me that I'm better off without him."
Kiku let out a sad sigh, uncertain of himself for the first time in a long while. So use to be in control of his feelings and his thoughts, Kiku was having a difficult time grasping the fact that he wanted to have a close relationship with Yao once again, but also wanted to wait and continue to prosper as a great nation before trying to reconcile with the Chinese man.
"I envy you, Alfred-san, because you can still hold a strong relationship with the nation that raised you," Kiku revealed, looking down at his lap, "Demo, as long as China-san is a communist country and holds a strong friendship with Russia-teme, I cannot mend the broken relationship between us. I still miss him, though..."
Looking at Alfred and Arthur helplessly, Kiku asked, "Is it normal? To miss the nation that raised you even though you hold a grudge against them?"
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High-functioning Ladykiller
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Posted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 8:39 pm
Bristling slightly at Alfred's comment, Arthur felt his cheeks heat up slightly at having his former colony poke fun at him. "Oh, bugger off, git," he retorted, flashing the American a dirty look. He paused, glancing over at the Japanese man as he spoke.
It appeared that Kiku really missed China, but was being held back by the world around him. By Alfred and his petty fighting with Russia. By the Western world's hatred and fear of Communism. By Arthur's own paranoia, in some ways.
A slight frown tugged his lips at Kiku's question, pondering over it silently for a moment. When he spoke, his voice was soft. "Normal?" he repeated, glancing over. "For some, yes. For some, no. It's difficult to say how one may react."
Some commented that he and Kiku had similarities that they were unaware of. Once again, Arthur was seeing this. He had been raised, mostly, by the French nation he had punched earlier today. The two of them held the biggest grudge that seemed possible for the times. However, they defended each other. Depended on each other. And...Arthur supposed that he, somewhat, missed when he and Francis would talk civilly.
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Posted: Sat Sep 11, 2010 9:35 am
Alfred frowned and shook his head. "Don't envy me, Kiku. He said.
Alfred then leaned away from the Brit, and closer to the Japanese man. Alfred started speaking in a low voice, hoping to high hells that Arthur only heard snippets of what he was going to say, "Don't envy me," He began again. "Don't. Because, of the way me and Artie are, I never know if he's telling the truth or not. And that hurts." Alfred made a stubborn face, he shook his head to get rid of that thought, "As far as I know with China, he's pretty open with his feelings. So, the next time you can, just start up a normal convo with him! 'Sides, He just might want a better relationship with you, Not Japan, but Kiku." Alfred pulled away and gave a grin. "But, those are just my thoughts. use 'em if you like, if not...then not!"
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Quotable Conversationalist
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Posted: Sat Sep 11, 2010 9:49 am
For the second time that day, Roderich took Gilbert by the wrist. The ex-nation had suffered quite a horrid day so far, so the Austrian didn't want to make it worse by holding his hand. It was probably too friendly for the albino to handle, he supposed to himself. He wordlessly led Gilbert towards his home, taking his keys out of his pocket in order to unlock the door. His home was warm, comfortable... An ideal situation, he hoped, for the sick.
He pushed the door open with his free hand -well, it wasn't so free, seeming as he was carrying both the plastic bag and Gilbert's case... And the man's umbrella tucked under his arm- before ushering his rival in, leading him towards the sofa with a murmur of 'Make yourself comfortable... I'll show you to your room after you've eaten a little.' Roderich paused. He'd talked to the consultant at the chemist's, and had been given a few guidelines... And vaguely recalled being told that something light on the stomach was best for a serious 'flu. Light on the stomach meant something like soup... He supposed. Or something like toasted bread...?
He'd make a soup. It wouldn't be too hard... And he supposed he could also offer bread... This was a bother. He left Gilbert to settle in, heading into the kitchen in order to set the contents of the plastic bag on one of the kitchen counters.
With a slight sound of mild irritation at the task ahead, the Austrian began gathering ingredients for both the soup and bread.
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Yao tensed for a brief second, blinking up at Ivan with confusion. He'd not expected for the nation to approach him, let alone touch him in such a tender way. It was unlike the Russian... But then again, Yao knew it was very hypocritical to think that Ivan was acting strange. He gnawed his own bottom lip a little, a soft hiccough escaping him as he tried to process what Ivan was trying to say. He never knew whether Ivan was trying to be genuine... Though it did sound as if the Russian was trying quite hard to console him. And that still counted for quite alot.
'You... Still t-trust me, right? Ivan?' His voice was naught more than a whisper as he looked up at his friend. 'Would... Would you a-agree... If I told you that... I think... I th-think you'd be better off if you weren't friends... With someone like me, aru?' No matter how he worded it, it sounded terrible. 'I... I still love you dearly as a f-friend. But... I'm... Such a b-bad friend and a b-burden, aru.' He was calming down a little, not wanting to make the Russian have to comfort him in fits of tears... So rather, he forced himself to stop.
'Ivan... It's my f-fault, isn't it?' He clung to the front of Ivan's jacket, burying his face into the material with a softened whimper. 'I'm... I c-can't... let you suffer anymore because of me.'
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Posted: Sat Sep 11, 2010 10:11 am
Stumbling slightly as he was led into the sitting room, Gilbert didn't utter a word. He watched blankly as the Austrian left the room to go into the kitchen, not moving for a moment.He then kicked off his boots lightly and unbuttoned another button from his shirt, leaving the first two undone now. His cross necklace was now just barely visible.
Walking over to the trash bin - it could be claimed that he knew the house as well as the aristocrat, due to the many times he had broken in - he tossed the stick from the candy. He then moved to the sofa and laid down on it, stretching wearily.
He then quickly fell asleep, despite the slight dampness of his shirt. For the first time in his life, he allowed himself to sleep in the Austrian's presence.
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High-functioning Ladykiller
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High-functioning Ladykiller
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Posted: Sat Sep 11, 2010 10:16 am
Ivan dropped his hand as the tears slowed, watching the Asian with the sliver of concern still in his violet eyes. "Da, trust you," he murmured at the Asian's question. His eyes widened again when Yao told him he shouldn't be friends with him.
The Chinese man was under the impression that his mere presence was causing people pain. Ivan didn't know how he could feel this way. The only person who even remotely acted that way was Japan, but he was being selfish.
"Nyet," he murmured, shaking his head. "Only friend. Without, suffer more." He refused to let Yao believe this of himself. He didn't want his only friend to feel that way.
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Posted: Sat Sep 11, 2010 10:52 am
'I forgot to ask, what sort of soup would you- Oh...' Roderich's question died on his lips as he re-entered the living room, having noticed Gilbert had fallen asleep. It was pretty obvious, this time... Seeming as his breathing was much slower and lighter, and his posture much more relaxed.
The Austrian's gaze wandered, and then a sigh left him at the sight of Gilbert's boots. That was rather rude. With a roll of his eyes, he picked up the boots in order to set them to one side, neatly, not wanting his home cluttered.
Roderich then left the room, returning a few moments later with a light blanket. This was then tucked around the sleeping ex-nation (he was ever so careful not to wake the man) though not before Roderich's gaze was caught by the little metallic glitter, in the corner of his eye. It looked quite nice... Though the Austrian opted not to touch it. He was curious as to what it was as he couldn't get a clear view of it... But he didn't want to wake Gilbert and find himself awkwardly trying to explain why he was touching him in his sleep... And furthermore, touching the necklace he wore.
He returned to the kitchen, deciding to continue cooking anyway, and wake the ex-nation later for his food.
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Yao quietened down, swallowing as he again tried to understand. Ivan trusted him. That was a good thing, certainly... And Yao attempted to rationalise with himself. He'd not ever given Ivan a reason not to trust him... As far as he knew.
Though when the Russian insisted that the asian was his only friend, Yao felt a pang of guilt. He felt... Awful for thinking that Ivan would want to get away from him. And hearing that Ivan believed he'd suffer without him, his face reddened, and he chanced a look up from where he'd hidden his face in order to meet the Russian's gaze. 'You'd... S-suffer? Without me, aru?' He asked in disbelief.
It was the first time he'd ever heard such a thing. Someone actually wanted him around... And even less believable, that person would suffer without him there. All he'd known was that the other nations grew tired of him quite quickly... -he could admit that his emotional personality could be a little overbearing- So to have Ivan openly say that he'd feel worse without Yao... it dried the little nation's tears and soothed him.
'Ivan... Thank y-you... for being a better friend than I could... Ever ask for, aru.'
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High-functioning Ladykiller
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Posted: Sat Sep 11, 2010 11:15 am
Brushing away the last remnants of Yao's tears, Ivan was quiet. He then stepped away, gently moving to unclasp the Asian from the front of his shirt. Stooping, the Russian grabbed his missing glove and put it on, giving the Asian a small smile that, like his eyes, held a sliver of genuine emotion. "Da. Without, is alone," he murmured in his broken English. "Yao is good friend."
Glancing down at his watch - he had finally figured out how to wind it - he blinked. The meeting was going to start within the next ten minutes, most likely as soon as the Swiss man showed up. Switzerland was nearly always there right on the dot, not a minute before, nor a minute later.
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