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 Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 10:33 pm
Attor stared into Ty's eyes both a longing and a sorrow over cam Attor's own eyes. Would Attor ever get over this, would he ever stop wanting Ty so bad. To be with him as a boy friend not just what he was now.
Attor froze his brow furrowing at he got smacked in the face with over whelming feelings as Ty kissed him. Though they weren't the ones he would have expected. He made a choke sound sitting down on the couch. The choke was him stopping himself completely. No crying, no yelling, no desire, it wasn't allowed right now. He put his hands in his lap and stared at the floor starting to shiver a bit. "I'm...glad to know....I won't loose my family...Ty...I need you to need me..." Attor said not looking at Ty but instead his eyes fell on that horrible bag he stared at it for awhile. He had managed to forget how much he cared and wanted to be with Ty plus other various problems he had because of that stuff. And right now he couldn't decide if that was a bad or good thing. It might in fact be Attor that would need help and protection in the next glorious round of events in their lives.
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Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 11:11 pm
Ty saw the sadness in his eyes as he said what he said. He knew thats how it had to be for the moment. He knew that he couldn't let them get too close or...or things just would fall apart! Things wouldn't be what they are and he...he wasn't sure if he wanted that or if he wanted...wanted things how they are and just to be like that. He just knew that he loved both of the men in his life but he didn't know what to do cause he couldn't have them both the way he wanted.
Sitting next to him and sighing he took Attors hand. "I know thats not what you want, if i could...give you what you want i would. but...i made a promise and i love him jsut as much...I...Attor you will always be needed by me. And maybe one day we'll have each other the way we want, if you still want me then. First loves arnt always forever so...havin you first might have been bad right?" he said as he looked at the bag that Attor was looking at. "If you want that then i'll go eat in my room and go to bed. I'm very tired." he said softly.
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Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 11:28 pm
Attor didn't know what to do right now he was trying to be strong. Trying to act like it didn't matter, like he was ok with how things were. He wasn't ok though, he was mad cause he could be with Ty and he was mad at Ty's father for hurting him. He was mad at himself and he was just plain feeling anger all over yet it was also fighting a sorrow. A sorrow for his friend's pain, a sorrow for his, and a fear of what he was supposed to do.
Attor's other can rested over his lips in a nervous manner while the other stayed in Ty's hand. "You sound like you think things might fall apart with Elliot...why not just....never mind......now is not the time for such old drama...we need to worry about you and healing...and stuff...." Attor looked at Tynan furrowing his brow again he had been staring at that bag since he sat down hadn't he? "I-i-i don't need it." Attor actually whined a little before taking his hand away from Ty. "I just want to stop feeling again...." Attor got up and grabbed the bag before tossing it in the trash. He stared at it for a moment before flopping back on the couch. "You'll e-eat dinner where I can see you do it...so I know you ate it and not threw it out the window...believe me Von had to be on her toes with me so I'm doing the same with you just in case." Attor wasn't even sure if he had ever told Ty how he had stopped eating and the only reason he didn't pass out was because Von caught on to it and made him eat. He was worried Tynan might go the same route as he had and he wouldn't let that happen.
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Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 11:38 pm
Ty looked at him and smiled softly as he knew what Attor had wanted to say. Knew what he wanted to suggest but he didn't, couldn't, do that. He wanted to experience everything he could with Elliot. He wanted to let it run its course and see what happened...and maybe Attor would find someone he loved more then he loved Ty. He watched him throw away the bag and he frowned. Stop feeling? Is that why he had done it? He frowned and didn't know what to say to that.
Looking at him he was quiet as he played with the end of his braid and looked at Attor. He had stopped eating? He would have to thank Von for that later then..Sighing he nodded. "Can you bring me some of it then please? Only a really small amount cause im...too upset to feel hungry but i'll eat cause you told me to." he said softly as he settled softly into the couch, careful of his back.
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Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 11:52 pm
Attor grabbed his bowl off the table and handed it to Ty he hadn't touched it yet and probably wouldn't at this point. All he wanted was a hit off the stuff in the bag, but he was determined not to touch it. Attor held his own elbows and mindlessly looked out the window. Sometimes he didn't know how to act around Ty anymore. He got up and grabbed some paper and ink, he needed to make a reply to Lucian...but what was he going to tell him.
He sat back down beside Tynan and stared at the paper for a moment before finally starting to write a letter to Lucian explaining he didn't want anymore but was sending the payment for the next batch just because.......because he was scared as hell of the boy. "So Ty...I'm guessing you don't have a lot of stuff right...that bag of yours was tiny...we'll go shopping tomorrow, if your up to it. Or I know your size I can pick out a couple things for you for now...." Attor said grabbing some money and wrapping it in the letter before whistling. A medium size owl flew from upstairs and landed on Attor. Attor tied the letter to him and opened the window. "Take it to the normal person would you Bubo, when you get home you'll get a treat." Attor promise before shoeing the bird out the window. "Hmm forgot to introduce you to my owl.When he gets back we will do a proper intro...feel free to use him id you need to great flyer...took a message to germany twice already...told him to take it to a midway but I dont think he trust other owls." Attor laughed a bit trying to get his mind off everything bugging him.
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Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 12:15 am
Ty took the bowl and nibbled a little at the noodles. He watched Attor move about and get paper and write something. But that didn't matter to him so he just ate and kept quiet for now. He looked at him and smiled softly. "I think i can make it out to go shopping a bit tomorrow. muggle shopping?" he asked softly. He wanted to go to Diagon alley but he was scared of seeing his dad or someone his dad worked with...but he wanted to see Elliot. He nibbled a little at the noodles, this was good. watching him send the owl he smiled as he nodded. "When he comes back i might send something off to Elliot so he knows where i am if he wants to come see me...if thats ok still." he said softly. He looked at him and wondered if this was just going to be too hard or if it was going to be too hard being way from him.
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Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 12:23 am
"Yeah....muggle shopping. With the restrictions on my wand I've found myself doing more muggle things then I care for...including learning to cook. Old muggle lady next store showed me how to make the mac and cheese.....its a nice community here... they seem to all want to help me in some way...saying its a shame a kid like me is on his own.....tried to get me to come to this thing they call church to, but I'm not going..." Attor put on some light music before sitting back down.
"That's fine...just let me know when....I might make myself scare....gotta meet up with .....ah ******** you're gonna find out any how sooner or later...... Lucian....and I would rather me go to him then you being anywhere near him......I'm starting to regret starting anything with him...." Attor said flopping onto the couch and staring at the ceiling.
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Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 12:48 am
Ty looks at him and nods as he nibbles some more but stops eating when he feels too full. He pulled his legs up and rested his head on his knees and looked at the other male. "Sounds interesting i think then. I wouldn't mind doing some muggle shopping then. It will be fun if im with you right?" he said with a smile as he watched him and wondered what Church was. Sounded boring though.
"I'll tell you what he says back." he said softly sad that he would go hide but he understood. He frowned when he said Lucian...Lucian was in alot of trouble at school all the time...why...was he hanging out with him...Well at least he would be trying to stop that soon. He didn't want something to happen or something to get Attor in trouble. "Oh well...As long as your safe..." he said softly as he played with his braid and looked at Attor. He didn't like that he was hanging out with Lucian but he wasn't going to say anything unless it got bad.
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Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 1:01 am
"I think it could be...watch them fuss over you know too...so annoying to go out. They keep trying to find out more about me. And you know I'm not horrible fond of muggles. " Attor said with a huff thinking about all the old people living around here.
"Ok...I might not vanished, but I know you guys might like...you know....alone time." Attor gulped his words a little not wanting to think of Ty and Elliot having a lone time. Made him just wanna beat the crap out of Elliot.
Attor looked at him that wasn't the reaction he had thought Ty would give him. Even the twins in Germany had fussed at Attor for hanging out with such a low brow of a pure blood. "You're ok with it?" Attor just let it slip out of his mouth. "I'm sure I'm safe, maybe...he hasn't hurt....me?" Attor seemed unsure of the answers he was giving, but the truth was he didn't know if he could get rid of Lucian. "I-i'll be fine..."
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Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 6:37 pm
Ty looked at him and played with his braid as he thought about what he said. "That...seems nice though. I mean..it sounds like...it would be interesting at least." he said softly. He just wanted someone who wanted to give him attention after he had almost...no he didn't want to think about that. He looked at Attor and looked at the table. "'lll...its not like were all over eachother when were together Attor...but thanks...Just you know...you don't have to leave all the time. We...all could...hang out together if you want." he said softly trying to find a way to get his two loves in his life to be together more.
"I...I cant tell you what to do...and...you said you were thinking of trying to get away from him...so what does me being ok with it or not ok with it have to change?" he asked softly as he stood up. "I...can i go lay down. I haven't gotten very good sleep since..." he didn't finish and just hugged his toy snake close and sighed softly.
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Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 7:12 pm
"It's not bad I guess. I've just been trying to hide soo being talked to every time I leave the house during the day isn't my idea of a good thing." Attor said looking at the window waiting for Bubo to come back.
"......I don't think I do....or at least I'm not ready. I rather not hurt someone you care about and if you haven't noticed I resort to anger a lot when I can't handle other emotions. I fear something might happen if we hang out together. I'm sorry." Attor said with an odd look on his face, he might actually punch Elliot if he saw any sort of affection above friends between them.
"I didn't so much say that...I said I have my regrets...letting him get me hooked on that stuff for one, but .......I don't know if I should be mad at him for that. I went looking for something to help me he just offered a suggestion....I'm more worried....for people I know. He doesn't like muggles or mudbloods....or anyone that doesn't fit the norm....and when I say doesn't like he down right will kick someone's butt for being that way. So I'm just trying to keep him separate....and it uh does matter to me what you say....I'm not you boyfriend but I still seek your approval....besides I don't think I can just stop being his friend....." Attor rubbed his hands a bit before turning and sorta smiling at Ty , but then frowned when he announced he wanted to go to bed. "Oh yeah yeah sure, you need to rest w-we will hang tomorrow. I'm gonna wait up for Bubo...so if you hear moving round just me heading to bed. ...If you need anything...or need someone....just come get me." Even though he wasn't Ty's boyfriend he would still cuddle if Tynan needed to. Attor moved to open the window then laid on the couch just in case he fell asleep waiting for the bird he was very attached to now. "Night Ty..." Attor said smiling to him.
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Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 7:34 pm
Ty looked at him and nodded. "I see your point there. I didn't....want anyone to bother me after....after this either." he said softly as he rubbed his shoulder a little.
"I see...Thats fine i understand then Attor. I'll tell you when i know he can come over." he said softly as he looked at his friend. He was sad they couldn't all be together but he understood. more then anything right now he could use a nice big hug from Elliot and for his sweet boyfriend to kiss him and help make him feel better...Attor would do it too but...But Ty already felt like he had done too much with Attor and didn't like to feel like a cheater.
"Well...i don't like him. I'm sure he woudn't like me much so...i don't want to worry about him or you. I...I don't want to lose you just like you don't want to lose me. I don't like thinking that you...might just leave cause he said to and your too scared he'll hurt you to do that..." he said softly as he shrugged with his good arm. "just...think about it ok?" he said softly as he waved to him and walked off to his new room. slowly getting into bed after putting on his sleeping shorts he curled around his snake and tried to sleep.
About an hour later he whimpered in his sleep and cried softly. "N-no...please...S-stop...I...i'm sorry...N-No! D-DAD NO!" He cried out in his sleep as he screamed, all still while sleep with tears falling down his face.
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Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 8:27 pm
Attor nodded and eyes Ty still worried about how angry those wounds had looked.
"Thank you. Again I'm sorry it couldn't be different....in so many ways. " Attor sniffed a bit and flicked a finger at the side of his nose. No reason to keep saying what he had already said several times before.
"He isn't that bad....." Attor said covering his mouth a little. Lucian had given him comfort here and there...in his own twisted way. "Im ......not scared you know that...not of anyone....." Accept for Lucian, yep he was totally terrified of him and knew he was in deep. "I will think about it since you don't like the idea of him being around...I don't want you to feel or be unsafe." Attor said with a nod before waving Tynan off to bed.
Attor cuddled into the couch grabbing the throw off the back of it and wrapping himself in it. He shivered,but not because he was cold, but because he was still coming down from his high. He nibbled on his fingers a bit looking out the window every few minutes. He needed his little Bubo to come home so he could go to bed. Finally the fluttering of wings were heard and Bubo flew in landing on Attor's knee. "Bubo there you are my little girl." he said cuddling the little bird. Let's get you that snack ." Attor said moving to the kitchen and getting a mouse from the fridge. He fed it to the bird and untied the letter from Lucian. He would read it later he thought putting it in his pj pocket. "Ready for bed Bubo?" He cooed to her before jumping out of his skin as Ty cried out. He moved to Ty's door and opened it in a hurry only to realize he was having nightmares. He entered the room and sat gently on the bed before trying to stroke the top of Ty's head hoping it would calm him down. "Its ok your safe Ty." Attor sighed going to grab some blankets he couldn't just leave Ty alone. So he made a bed for himself on the floor to watch over his friend. Bubo perched on his shoulder never really leaving Attor's side much.
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Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 8:35 pm
Ty flinched back as something touched him and his eyes opened with another scream as he tried to rollaway but it only hurt and he almost fell from the bed. Looking around he saw Attor coming back. "N-No..please...s-sleep in the bed..." he said softly as he blushed and tried to make the tears stop. he was shaking so violently and he had the snake toy in a death grip with his arm as he clung with it while he curled on the bed in the fetal position. His long hair was laid out behind him in a messy braid from his fighting in his sleep and his face was covered in sweat from his fear. He whimpered, from pain and from being scared. This had kept him up for the last three days that it had taken to get away from his father.
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Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 8:41 pm
Attor blinked before slowly getting up and placing Bubo on the lamp beside the bed. He gave her a pet before sitting on the bed and getting under the covers.
"Come here." Attor said gesturing to Tynan to come into his arms. This time Attor was making sure to keep all other thought from his head. Right now Attor would be Tynan's brother and comfort him to a good night sleep nothing more, nothing less. "I promise everything will be ok." Attor said with concerned eyes.
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