|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Mon Mar 07, 2005 5:46 pm
I'll be honest, I can't bear pain to begin with, and I don't bother to clean or excersise to get the stress out. Games, though, are a welcome relief; what better way to get rid of stress than to immerse yourself in a good RPG?
I feel sorry for the chaps who go through this, though. Alas, I know of nothing to do but wear the bracelets. -.- I guess knowing and not knowing bring their own kind of... worry.
And it's about now I get out and run DDRMAX2 for a few songs. See what I mean by immersive gaming?
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Mar 07, 2005 11:41 pm
HolyOrders Games, though, are a welcome relief; what better way to get rid of stress than to immerse yourself in a good RPG? Haha! That's a whole other addiction entirely! Much worse than SI! wink I was soooo into MUDs for a while.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Mar 08, 2005 9:11 am
Civet Moon Quote: It's nice to see non-self-harmers talking about self-harm. To be honest, I was a bit reluctant to post in this thread because I do not really know why people self-injure, and have not done so myself. Perhaps you can explain it to me a bit? I think a lot of the time it can't really be understood. I think the thought just comes into your head, randomly. I will do my best to explain. It may be completely differnet for others. Well, everyone has different reasons. But I believe (it can't really be proven) that no-one does it in a correct state of mind. A lot of people do it when they are in certain moods. One of them is usually just described as 'weird' or 'not right'. I've done it in this state of mind. I think it's like total apathy. You don't care if you're in pain, or if you'll get scars or if it's a stupid thing to do. You feel like doing it, so you will. This state of mind is usually accompanied by depression. Some people cut themselves because the pain and the blood proves that they are alive and real. Some people hurt themselves because they feel a strong desire to hurt something and don't want to hurt others. Some people do it because they don't know how else to express their emotions. Like when a toddler screams and throws a tantrum. They can't express themselves through words because they don't yet know enough to do it properly. THey don't know how to show their feelings so they do it like that. Some self-injurers are the same. Some people feel they deserve pain and so inflict it on themselves. Some people are addicted to the feeling of pain. And some people really do do it for attention, but I did an experiment, and only one person did it for this reason out of over fourty people who self-injured.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Mar 08, 2005 1:50 pm
Those who do it for attention need some definite help.
I wrote down thins long thing about why I SI, because everyone on Gaia always asked me in PMs and such. So, I typed it up. Although, I lost it when I got my new computer because stinky viruses messed up my last one. But, I can give you the jist.
I SI because sometimes I feel like destroying something. I know for a fact that nothing I destroy will matter, except if I destroy myself. So, I slowly bring myself closer to entropy.
Most of the time I just feel like destroying something beautiful. I don't really think of myself as pretty, since I'm not, but I do believe that every human in itself is beautiful. The human form, you have to admit, is beautiful. Perfect in every way. So, I destroy the human form. Making scars on my body from SI is destroying this beautiful thing. Or, in my sense of the word it is. I'm exposing the world as it is on my skin. It's as natural as a tattoo. Just telling a story, just like a tattoo.
Sometimes it's to punish myself. Sometimes it's because I deserve it. Sometimes I just feel like it. Sometimes I don't even realize it until I've gone through it.
I have more but I don't want to type anything else.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 2:15 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 2:31 pm
It's okay!!!! I'm a frequent visiter anyways.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 4:50 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2005 9:18 pm
Quote: Well, everyone has different reasons. But I believe (it can't really be proven) that no-one does it in a correct state of mind. A lot of people do it when they are in certain moods. One of them is usually just described as 'weird' or 'not right'. I've done it in this state of mind. I think it's like total apathy. You don't care if you're in pain, or if you'll get scars or if it's a stupid thing to do. You feel like doing it, so you will. This state of mind is usually accompanied by depression. I haven't actually cut myself but I've come pretty damn close infact the only thing that stopped me was that I don't want my friends or family to notice. But when I'm sitting there like that I'm immune to pain, I hate life (not that I want to die just cut for some demented reason) I almost cut the word reality into my arm the other day before I almost headbutted a wall to snap myself out of it xp , and why shouldn't I,.... type thing.....you know? it's bad it's really weird I don't want to be labelled an attention grabber or anyone to make a big deal out of it so I stop myself somehow, it takes alot of effort because I don't know what else to do I've tried automatic typing/writing and it helps alot but not much else does really. I'm not even sure if I have depression but I know something's wrong. Can't go to the doctors alone though I'm a wuss so I'm waiting til it gets extremely bad before I go. Besides I really don't want to have to take meds. I missed siad but next year I'll wear something WHITE
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2005 9:04 am
My favorite fourm site had alot of nifty SIAD things, i wore my bracelets, my imaginary, that is the site im talkin about, biggrin i was a memeber there for over a year. anyways, this is my first post here..
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Mar 20, 2005 11:43 am
Smart Alex M is for M+Ms At least you got diagnosed (and therefore helped?) as a result of it, so it wouldn't happen again. I hope anyway. I hope so too. It hasn't happened for years, though, so I'm on a roll! Ares On a site they said the colors for SIers were red and black, but on another it said orange. Which is it? It's both, technically, but I've seen more orange for SIers because anorexics have chosen red and black as their colors too! It gets a bit confusing!
But yeah, it is very confusing. Everyone seems to think it's a different colour.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Mar 20, 2005 8:59 pm
the question is how do you really know if you SI or if you used to? when do you really know its over, that youre done for good?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Mar 20, 2005 11:23 pm
jellotart the question is how do you really know if you SI or if you used to? when do you really know its over, that youre done for good? Someone asked that earlier, and I said that, if you're in the process of trying to quit, you might as well be optomistic! It's an attitude thing. Doll Parts Whenever I go to my therapist I wear a red bracelet for anorexia and a black one for self injury. It makes me feel all rebellious or something. Haha! That's funny! Once I wore a shirt that said "you're just jealous because the voices talk to me" to my Pdoc appointment.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2005 5:29 pm
Aw, crap! I missed it!!!
crying
...and I really wanted to do it, too...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Apr 05, 2005 7:16 am
Smart Alex Doll Parts Whenever I go to my therapist I wear a red bracelet for anorexia and a black one for self injury. It makes me feel all rebellious or something. Haha! That's funny! Once I wore a shirt that said "you're just jealous because the voices talk to me" to my Pdoc appointment. I wore my "I don't hate boys, I have everyone" shirt to therapy....heh, she had some interesting comments on that one.... sweatdrop
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 12:15 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
