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 Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2007 3:47 pm
GoldenRoya I hear you, Ethan. I'm in the same place myself. I haven't got any advice to offer, since I haven't found anything that works for me, but maybe a few of the tactics that haven't worked over here will help you over there? *shrugs* Try taking up a new hobby - turn off the computer for a week and find something new to do with your time (since I'm still in school and have to be on the comp regularly, this definitely didn't work for me). Hit the local coffee shops. Find someplace doing an open mic night and become a regular. As I say, might work to clear the boredom blues. Possibly. My other problem is I *know* what needs to be done, but make excuses for myself *not* to do them. And even when I know that's what's happening, it doesn't work. I can't out-psycho analyze myself and trick myself to do something. I toe the line between "same old" and "change" but just revert back to type. GoldenRoya God, it's so frustrating when you realize you've become the worst aspects of both your parents. Yep, I know this all too well. I'm very good at analyzing myself. As hard as I try not to be like my parents or my brother, at the end of the night the most depressing part of it all is that I still feel I'm exactly like them. I try to make up reasons and facts about how I'm different, but when it comes to decisions and actions, I am of my family's flesh and blood. The Skullmaster I'm sorry I couldn't say more about you beingin a rut over MSN but that other convo I had going knocked me for six. Your advice is obviously the best method of dealing with it, it's just finding the best way of saying it. Polite honesty if it was me. That's how *I would* do it. Just point blank, no dancing around it. Say, "Sorry but this is how it is" and that's that. But again, that's how I'd do it. When it comes to stuff like what you talked about I'm not the smoothest talker, and dislike making people go through loops and hoops. When someone tells me something serious, I personally prefer them to just say it out right, get it over with, like ripping a bandaid off. If it knocks me down and out, that's fine. I'll get up and just move on. About my rant: Maybe I just like healing myself rant. I've considered psychiatrist/psychologist or whatever, when I'd just end up paying someone to listen to me rant. I wonder what would that prove, what hidden secrets would it reveal that I haven't myself dug up already? Would they have solutions I don't already know? Personally, the way things are right now, I'd prolly need someone to just take me by the hand and drag me out of this rut. I think that's what my subconscious-self wants. Whenever I write up those online personals profiles and it asks me what kind of girl I'd like to meet, I always write someone who is grounded, and rooted, and would take care of me. *WOULD TAKE CARE OF ME*. I think it would take a very strong person to be with me.
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Posted: Thu Apr 19, 2007 6:05 pm
GoldenRoya Ethan Dirtch So after all is said and done I'm still ok, I'm still alive. I am, however, still in the same place in my life. As I told Skully over MSN, I think I've reached some sort of 'secure, comfortable, convenience' rut where I *hate* where I am and how I'm not going anywhere, but at the same time don't want to move for fear of responsibility and change. This, I believe, is what my therapist meant by 'fear of success'. I hear you, Ethan. I'm in the same place myself. I haven't got any advice to offer, since I haven't found anything that works for me, but maybe a few of the tactics that haven't worked over here will help you over there? *shrugs* Try taking up a new hobby - turn off the computer for a week and find something new to do with your time (since I'm still in school and have to be on the comp regularly, this definitely didn't work for me). Hit the local coffee shops. Find someplace doing an open mic night and become a regular. As I say, might work to clear the boredom blues. My rant: My dad. I know, my usual is my mom, but dad's got my ire this time. He's got this bug in his brain that I'm not good enough or motivated enough or something and he's been getting in little digs every time he communicates with me. Found a quote the other day, Benjamin Franklin. "Tim was so learned he could name a horse in nine languages, so ignorant he bought a cow to ride." I shared it with Dad, thinking he'd get a kick out of it - he's always talking about how his colleagues are more book smart than common sense. Instead he turns right around and says, "Actually, kid, this one is all about you." RRRRRGGGGGHHH!!!! As if he's all that much better than me! He spends his entire life teaching me to be just like him and when I grow up to BE like him, he wonders where the hell I went wrong. Very agravating. Very. I haven't talked to him since, and I refuse to communicate with him beyond what is necessary until...I'm not sure when, but he's got to suck up quite a bit to get back in my good graces...another way I'm like him, I just realized. God, it's so frustrating when you realize you've become the worst aspects of both your parents. Anyhow, I've just resolved that when I graduate there is no way I'll take a job closer than 500 miles to my folks. We get along much better when there's the possibility of just hanging up on them. I totally understand your feelings GR. I had very similar feelings. I say "had" because eventually my feelings changed, but I am a lot older than you and it took a very long time. So I distanced myself and frankly it was what I needed at the time. You may need that too. Parents can be weird at times.
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Posted: Thu Apr 19, 2007 6:07 pm
Ethan, you say you need someone very strong. Or dominant I guess. But that might not be best for you. Strong people can often be impatient. But grounded, yeah, that you need for sure. 3nodding
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Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 10:13 am
umaeril Ethan, you say you need someone very strong. Or dominant I guess. But that might not be best for you. Strong people can often be impatient. But grounded, yeah, that you need for sure. 3nodding Well, by strength I really meant patience, and being able to put up with my weirdness, ya know? That's real strength.
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Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 7:21 pm
Ethan Dirtch umaeril Ethan, you say you need someone very strong. Or dominant I guess. But that might not be best for you. Strong people can often be impatient. But grounded, yeah, that you need for sure. 3nodding Well, by strength I really meant patience, and being able to put up with my weirdness, ya know? That's real strength. Well, it is certainly an attribute, if not a strength (being solid and grounded enough to put up with your weirdness as well as patient). Anyhow good luck. So are you....what....going to get a new job? Going to go to college?
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Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 7:47 pm
I am going to go dancing!
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Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 4:36 pm
Ethan Dirtch I am going to go dancing! Ballroom? xd
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Posted: Tue May 01, 2007 10:20 am
Nah, we went to a club. Still fun, though.
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Posted: Fri May 04, 2007 8:35 pm
We? We who? And what happened?? Did you dance??
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Posted: Tue May 08, 2007 10:12 am
I really wouldn't call it dancing. It was more of me bouncing on one knee, then moving over to bounce on my other knee, did some head bopping, and waved my arms a bit. That was pretty much all I did in several subtle variations; some of the times I'd lift a foot, or "raise the roof" for some random reason.
The girls seemed to really like dancing, though. Mostly with each other, too neutral
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Posted: Wed May 09, 2007 11:31 pm
Well Ethan, if you are bouncing on one knee then bouncing on the other knee and occasionally lifting your foot and waving your arms a bit, then it is no wonder the girls dance with each other. xp
I am just teasing you, but are you going to go back?
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Posted: Thu May 10, 2007 5:53 pm
Well, when there's a reason to? I mean, if friends are going. That's what I mean. I wouldn't just go on my own, that'd look weird and stuff!
I didn't like Heineken, though...or the Tequilla shot they made me take! It was all very bitter and went down hot and yucky. So I'm still at a loss why ppl love beer!!
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Posted: Thu May 10, 2007 6:12 pm
You must first find the right kind, some taste so completely different. Anyway, I don't like tequila either. Straight I mean. Or with training wheels. I had a few shots with my boss's wife, and exclaimed, "Jose is not my friend!"
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Posted: Thu May 10, 2007 6:29 pm
O_o wha? And gimme some tips on which to try!! I dunno what to try! I'm oblivious to beer @_@
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Posted: Thu May 10, 2007 8:33 pm
Maybe you are not a beer drinker. I seem to recall something about you hating alcohol. Anyhow, try a Mudslide. Yum.
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