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 Posted: Sun Dec 20, 2009 9:54 pm
Embryonic, zoonic
Tectonic, cyclonic
We humans are never humane
Explosion, erosion
Corrosion, implosion
And back into Chaos again!
My name is Technology Kills, and welcome to my world.
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Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 10:33 pm
Navigational Chart
I My Name is Technology Kills, and Welcome to My World
II Navigational Chart
III All About Tech
IV Tech's Adventures
V Tech's World
VI Tech's Story
VII Teggera
VIII The Transfan's Prayer
IX Gremlin Alien Malware
X--XV Reserved
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Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 10:41 pm
 General Information:
Name: Technology Kills
Aliases: Tech, TK, Tekna 9.2
Gender: Female
Quote: "At the battle of Agincourt, fifty English longbowmen held off a thousand French knights, which just goes to show you, technology kills." --Mr. "Baker," Gey's 10th grade Honors World History teacher (who is ZOMGMADEOFWIN), first day of school, 2007-2008 school year
Likes: Starscream, space, technology, being clean, mallets
Dislikes: Organics, Megatron, perverts
About: Technology Kills is a prototype of the Tekna 9.2, a PC from the planet Teggera. Teggera is mostly populated by horny, straight men (there are very few women) so understandably most Teggerese have the strangest fetishes. Including with computers. Ew.
She was rescued from a life of enslavement by the arrival of a Decepticon raiding party sent to Teggera to raid its energy sources for energon. She fell in love with Starscream, hitchhiked on him, and eventually won his trust/love. He has been on Earth (or wherever it is the Lucky Noodle Shop is) since early summer, but she has not arrived until now because she was busy on Cybertron researching Megatron and the Decepticons in general (after all, if she has to live with them, she'd better get used to them!)
Relationships:
Parents: Tekna Corporation
Siblings: Tekna 9.0, Tekna 9.1
Mate: Starscream
Offspring: Cometstrike, Rebel's Ambition
Friends: None besides Starscream
OOC Information:
Status: Taken <333
Posts in: dark violet
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Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 10:42 pm
Tech's Adventures
A Fangirl is Made-- In which the Tekna 9.2 meets Decepticon Air Commander Starscream of Cybertron and gives herself the name Technology Kills. In progress.
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Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 10:46 pm
Tech's World
Relations
Starscream: asasdlfkajsdlfkjasdlfjaksdfa <33333333333333333333333333 He saved me and gave me a new life. <333 How can I not love him? [CoughultimateScreamerfangirlcough]
Tekna 9.0--a computer advanced for its time; it looked sort of like me, but with black "fur."
Tekna 9.1--a computer that also looked like me (with green "fur" and circuits) that could move like I can; but still rather stupid.
Friends
Enemies
Technicians--the engineers who designed me.
Megatron--he made my Starscream hurt. >C That slagtard's goin' down.
Ebony Pardus/Luaith--the organics who gave Starscream cosmic rust and space barnacles. >C If I ever meet them...
Optimus Prime--a minor nuisance to be dealt with once Megatron is melted down for scrap metal.
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Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 10:47 pm
Tech's Story
On the planet Teggera, a computer manufacturing giant known as the Tekna Corporation had been in the PC business for as long as there had been computers—and Teggera developed computers hundreds of years before the puny flesh creatures of Earth. On a whim, and on the suggestion of their more perverted customers, they had been making vulpenoid computers for the past twenty years in the Tekna 9 series. Tekna 9.0 was merely Noodle-shaped, but Tekna 9.1 could actually move—and was even programmed to say pre-programmed things. A robot that could be told to sit down and work as a computer, or lay down, or whatever the owner wanted.
I don’t know what went wrong, but something went wrong in the programming of the 9.2, and the complex programming attained what even the Teggerese had never, in their wildest dreams, thought they would do unintentionally; the 9.2 was sentient.
I am the only Tekna 9.2.
My first memory is sudden light, reddish-orange spilling over the faces of organics, stretching out throughout a giant auditorium—hot, panting, sweating, the room filled with the smell of anticipation and cramped quarters, and an insatiable hunger, dirty, sweaty things staring at me like a wolf staring at a fleeced, crippled lamb, ready to leap on it and tear it apart, laughing. I was terrified, but bands wrapped around me held me in place and I could not move. I was sentient. I was alive. When I looked around the room, there were “oo”s, there were “aah”s. Hey, look, the Tekna 9.2 acted like it was alive, how cute! Look at its fur, it even looks sort of alive! I wonder how fuzzy it is, I wonder what it’s like to run fingers all over its chest, all over its belly, push the buttons in! I want one, I want one, I will teach it to dance and act like a real girl, and do whatever I want!
People got their chances soon enough to poke at me all day. Still, I was terrified. So scared I could not move; I was petrified, and like stone I spent the afternoon watching them with terror. Sometimes I wonder if the terror in my spark (Starscream says I have a spark, and he knows a lot) went to my eyes, and if it did, did anyone see?
Tekna was packing everything up, and the technicians put me in a box. I guess the pleading looks I gave them convinced them not to turn me off. They smiled indulgently and let me lay in the box, where I shivered on the drive back to the lab. I covered my face with my arms and curled in a fetal ball. Never again, never again!
They let me out when we got back, plugged me in, and bade me good night. I sat alone all night, staring at the ceiling and wishing something would destroy the organics and set me free. The next day they returned. “Good morning; how are you, Nine-Point-Two?”
“Go away,” I whispered.
They stared at me, then turned to each other and laughed. Then they turned back to me, serious expressions. “That won’t do; no, that won’t do at all. Come on, let’s have a look at you.”
The rest of the week followed the same agonizing pattern; they’d come in, and, grim-faced, tried to take me apart to figure out what was wrong with me, or hook me up to a much larger computer to figure it out. They were picking me apart; they wanted me to obey, to bow down to their will. They wanted me to stop thinking, and I could never stop thinking. In fear, I waited until they shut me down at night; one blink they were glaring at me in frustration, another and it was morning and they were grinning, sure that today they’d figured out what went wrong with the 9.2 prototype. They were pretty sure they had figured it out when It happened.
I will never forget it. They had tied me down—I was thrashing and whimpering, trying to wrap my cord around them—when there was a terrible sound outside and the ceiling broke suddenly. From my position, just about all I could see was the ceiling, or what was now the sky, or what would have been the sky if it hadn’t been blocked by the strangest vehicle I had ever seen.
It was like a great skybird with a pointed face and thick wings that were thrown back in triumph, rearing with pride; powerful and resourceful, swift as a hurricane. I stared in wonder at it, eyes wide—and it transformed. The wings turned and the body folded and unfolded at once, and the bird was a noodle, a great noodle that filled my vision; pride burned in his eyes, and I could see in his stance that he was determined and would settle for nothing less than what he desired.
I was instantly smitten. As he began to speak in loud and certain words about energy and fleshlings, I managed to struggle out of my bonds. As he picked up the technicians and threw them against the wall, running off through the building, I panicked and ran after him to keep up. He hardly noticed it as I climbed onto his back and clung to him; he was too distracted with some sort of magenta cubes. When he transformed, I was still there, wrapping my cord around his parts so that when he took off, he could not help but take me with. He took off with his companions—also strange vehicles I had never seen, though none with such striking colors as this one—carrying the cubes. Off into space they took. At first it terrified me, but I soon saw its beauty and my fear melted away. I have hardly felt fear since that day.
He didn’t notice me until we reached an asteroid; at least, he didn’t show that he had noticed me until then. He transformed and asked me who I was, where I had come from, what was I doing there. I answered him honestly. He was satisfied with my answers, though I’m sure he was suspicious about who I was. I didn’t have a name until then. I didn’t know what to call myself. Tekna…Tekna…Tekna Corporation, Technological Systems…Then I remembered one of the technicians muttering something one time after I’d kicked him in the guts. “Technology kills!” he’d snarled to his partner. That was it—I’d call myself “Technology Kills”—a fine name, I thought.
Once I had finished, he told me about himself. Starscream. Air Commander, Decepticons. Cybertronian. The word was full of might and grandeur far removed from Teggera and Tekna. I climbed back aboard him on the flight back to his base, and on the way, I peppered him with questions. Who were the Cybertronians? Was he a vehicle or a robot? Who were the Decepticons, and why were they called that? Who was he fighting against?
He told me all about him, and the more I learned about Starscream, the more I loved him. He was so different; he was hopeful and confident, sure that he would win. And he needed allies. He was lonely; everyone he knew hated him, I could tell. There was something irresistible about him, and I vowed I would not leave him. It seemed that he did not want me to leave him either, as when we reached the Decepticon base, he hid me so that his master would not find me. I could still see what happened, though; Megatron, he was called, got angry at Starscream and attacked him. He left off it eventually, but from then on, my hatred for the white bot was secured. I hated him with the same passionate hatred I had for my creators. Starscream would defeat Megatron; I will see to it! I will take whatever means necessary to return the favor to the mech who rescued me and has given me the same love that I gave to him on that long ago day I left Teggera forever!
Watch out, Megaton. Watch out, Prime. I am technology, and Technology Kills.
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Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 11:35 pm
Teggera
Teggera is a large, technologically advanced world about a million years older than Earth. Much of its tectonic activity is in regions with an arid climate.
Translation: The only places it ain’t flat, it’s a freakin’ DESERT.
The noodles from Teggera are tail-less and a little taller than the average Terran (Earth) noodle, with flatter heads and shorter fur. For some reason, females are far less common on Teggera; there is approximately four males for every female, and homosexuality among males is uncommon. As a result, there is a serious shortage of females, and as usually results in a dearth of femininity among heterosexual men, there is some seriously kinky s**t going down. Teggerese males are known for having bizarre fetishes, including, in some cases, with machines.
The Tekna Corporation, being seriously into making money and realizing that sex is the most popular thing since eukaryotic cell structure, has long since been releasing computers shaped like noodles, specifically those of the female persuasion. Eventually someone realized that if they were going to make computers that looked like robots, why not go backwards and start out the new design with a robot that had a computer?
That resulted in the Tekna 9.1 and Tekna 9.2. The hype was high for the Tekna 9.2, but two and a half weeks after its showing at a tech expo, the prototype disappeared, and the facility that had created it had been blown to pieces, its personal powerplant deprived of all its energy. The government has tried to cover it up, but some people swear they saw UFOs blowing up the labs.
Most people believe that the UFOs were to blame for the end of the Tekna 9 series, but few people know that the series would probably have ended after the 9.2 anyway, since it had a glitch in its system that caused it to be uncooperative.
If any Teggerese were to come to Earth now, they would be in for a veeeeeeeeeeeery nasty shock…
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Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 11:36 pm
The Transfan's Prayer
Great Primus, who art in the Matrix,
Hasbro be thy name.
They peace will come,
Thy will be done
In Detroit as it is in Iacon.
Give us this decade
Two new continuities
And forgive us our fanfics
As we forgive Michael Bay.
And lead us not into Kiss Players,
But deliver us, O Great One,
For thine is the G1 Optimus,
And the Armada Starscream,
And the Beast Wars Dinobot
Forever,
Amen.
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Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 11:39 pm
Name: Gremlin
Species: Minicon Dragon
Drink: Energon (distilled)
Gender: Female
Noodle: Technology Kills
Type: Minion
About: Gremlin, unlike her mistress, can leave her robot body as an AI and wriggle her way into computers and communications networks. She's much like a virus in that respect, although if anything, she's most like a Trojan malware, gathering information for Tech's processing and reporting it back.
She derives her name from the mythical, modern bugaboos of technology; just as technology kills, gremlins kill technology. A fitting name, one that Tech does not mind, though it worried her slightly at first.
Posts in: blue with dark violet underline
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Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 11:42 pm
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Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 11:49 pm
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Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 11:51 pm
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Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 11:52 pm
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Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 11:54 pm
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Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 11:55 pm
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