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 Posted: Tue Sep 11, 2007 4:04 am
Only if you bake the pie too. All of them. blaugh
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Posted: Tue Sep 11, 2007 2:18 pm
Yeah, I'll eat me a couple of those pies!!! biggrin
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Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 6:06 pm
Rage. And I don't even know what I'm really angry about.
Let's back track. This past weekend I went to a dinner/hang out thing, and met a girl, Cheryl, who seems mondo cool. But due to whatever reasons I neglected to ask her any of the "important" questions: what's her number? is she single? does she live near here?
Move forward a few days and I have gotten her msn contact. however, I find out she lives 2hrs away from me. And that she's extremely busy. So busy, in fact, that she can't log on and add me to her buddy list. Maybe I'm not angry so much as frustrated because i want to get this all over with. I'm upset at some people for no good reason either; they don't want to TELL ME what TO DO, which isn't something to get angry about, really. Except I have absolutely no idea what to do. I'm always thinking, "What's the right thing to do in this situation?" And people--either they have given up on helping me with my love life, or something else--refuse to tell me what to do. Their theory is sound, really; no learning like learning for yourself. But it's just taking so long for anything to happen on their own, and that when I try to make things happen I don't know what to do.
And, really, am I angry because she's not online and that she's not living closer to me, or that my friends aren't giving me affirmative answers, or because I'm obsessing? I'm pretty sure I'm obsessing, but am I obsessing with the idea of getting a girlfriend, obsessing about the girl herself (who I barely know, btw), or obsessing with just getting the questions over with? With just getting an answer?
Also I have had customers today who have been more difficult to deal with than normal. They're not angry customers, or rude customers, they're just...difficult. Either because of communication, or conflicting perceptions.
I just don't know. I feel like screaming. But I don't know where to do said screaming without anyone calling the cops.
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Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 7:58 pm
You are angry because you are frustrated and you have some complex issues that are not simple to deal with above and beyond the obvious issues.
First off, if this girl is too busy to add you to her buddy list then that is a message to you that she is not interested. So, I think you will just have to accept that.
Secondly, as far as the rest of it, what answers are you seeking from your friends? You are not clear on that. You can't possibly expect your friends to be as sympathetic as we here online are for you, can you? That is enough to make anyone angry! But your friends are not aware of some of the difficulties you are facing in life. I am not sure they understand your obsession with getting a gf. Maybe they just don't want to deal with it any more?
You got dealt a bit of bad deal Ethan, as I know. I have given you my opinion on this aspect long ago. However, eventually you are going to have to deal with it, you have been avoiding it, and all this is pent up in you, adding to the intensity of your anger. It's not fair, I can tell you that, but I am not sure what else to say.
So add all this together and you get...rage. It's understandable.
Solutions for you are not easy to come by. Not from where I sit and with my overview of your situation.
The best I can council is patience for now. Try to find a place of acceptance within yourself. Don't obess because that scares girls off and they can intuit it on some level. Ugh, not good advice. I wish I had better ease for your problems.
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Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 3:10 am
Your wisdom is always appreciated, umar, and I wish I was a better student of it. I know that--even here on this msg board--I've repeated and rehashed stuff that have already been discussed. I'm not sure if it's some very sublte learning disability, or a need for attention, or an inability to act. Hopefully I'll figure it out one day
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Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 9:34 am
Ethan Dirtch Your wisdom is always appreciated, umar, and I wish I was a better student of it. I know that--even here on this msg board--I've repeated and rehashed stuff that have already been discussed. I'm not sure if it's some very sublte learning disability, or a need for attention, or an inability to act. Hopefully I'll figure it out one day Hey, you know what? It is ok to repeat and to rehash stuff over and over in this forum. That is how you work it out and I don't mind in the least. Since I have a particular insight into what is going on, I am probably one of the only people who can truly understand your issues and what you are going through in this very important time of your life. So don't worry about that aspect. This is NOT a need for attention on your part, I think I should stress that for you. This is a most profound need to understand your life, it's meaning and your place in the universe. I get that you think it might be an inability to act but the issues are not clear cut as you know. The only thing to do is to go over these problems again and again until you can wrest some sense out of them, until you can make them bend to your will. Not an easy prospect by any means. I admire you for making the attempt and for your questioning and not letting go and fading away somehow.
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Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 7:32 pm
Thankies, umar, that means a lot coming from you smile
But, in regards to the CURRENT situation, perhaps there is some input you can give.
My guy friends have all pretty unanimously said to give up on Cheryl. Citing that if she's too busy to log on then she's probably too busy for any semblance of a relationship what so ever, and the fact that she lives 2hrs away and I cannot drive.
Mei, on the other hand, has called me a lazy piece of crap razz She cites that I gave up too easy and that I gave up without even putting much effort. She suggests getting her number and calling her. neutral
I'm not sure *HOW* to handle it. Part of me wants to take Mei up on her idea to call Cheryl, but the other part of me agrees with the guys that maybe I shouldn't bother.
Also, I do not understand how ppl pick up other ppl in clubs. I was at a club last night and saw how pretty much everyone there had their own circle of friends to talk and chill with, neutering any possiblity of contact. No one was eyeing the room, no one was looking to meet anyone else. Not that I didn't have fun within my own group, though.
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Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2007 12:10 pm
Cheryl is giving you the cold shoulder this is perfectly obvious. Mei is not seeing this, not sure why. The guys seem to have picked up on it. Forget her and move along and don't feel bad about it or worry about it.
Picking up people in clubs is very hard to do unless:
1) You are a totally handsome/beautiful guy
2) You are a girl - any kind of a girl.
I am not saying you are not handsome but I am just saying that this is the fact of life for clubs. Go to a club without ANY expectations. Go just to have some fun with your friends because, in general, this is all you get out of a club.
The place to find a nice girl is in school. You sit beside one at school, or on the bus or at the cafeteria and strike up a convo cause she is in your class.
The other option is for your friends to set you up with one of their friends or cousins or something. Or your sister for that matter, or your mother - does she still go to church? There are girls at church. Don't overlook any possibility.
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Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2007 4:55 pm
I don't think Cheryl is giving me the cold shoulder, per se. I just don't think she realizes my interest. To be perfectly clear, Cheryl and I have only met that one time at that party last week. So I don't know if she was ever interested, and I don't think she ever realized my interest. With that said, I find it unlikely she's giving me the cold shoulder. Janice wouldn't have told her because Janice doesn't know I'm interested, and anyone else does not have contact with her.
As for clubs, yeah, I had a lot of fun the other night, and yeah, I expect school to be the best place to find someone cool. Not church, though razz Or my mom razz She's not a good source of women! Also, my sis is uncomfortable with the idea of her brother going out with one of her friends/friends' siblings/friends' extended family. As for my friends, my guy friends here don't have many women friends, and my women friends...I'm not sure, some of them don't feel like helping for one reason or another.
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Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2007 7:00 pm
Ok well...this Cheryl lives 2 hours away and you don't have a car. confused Not sure what else to say about it. 2 hours is kinda far away, don't you think? Find somebody nearer.
That is pretty uncool of your sister, oh well.
I am out of suggestions right now. If I can think of any later I will let you know.
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Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2007 10:25 pm
Well, I got her number (well Mei practically got it for me >_> ). I am being told not to call on Mondays <_<
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Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 4:00 pm
Well...don't call on a Monday.
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Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 8:48 pm
Well, I did.
Anyway, here's the news, cats.
Cheryl, she's got a boyfriend. Who lives and works in Australia. And here I thought 2hrs was going to be tough!!
I talked to a couple of friends; one of them has essentially said that "She doesn't have a boyfriend" in regards to the distance, time difference, etc. He questions why I would stop hitting on her neutral
Another friend, Herb, he says just do what I want; if I am so enamoured with her that I want to pursue, then pursue! But I don't know what to do @_@ I suppose I could still keep talking to her over the phone? Would that be weird?
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Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2007 2:16 pm
Yes, that is weird.
However you are going to do what you want to do....so do it, whatever that is. I guess if she does not want you to call she will simply not answer the phone or she won't return your messages.
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Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2007 4:33 pm
The trick is to not call so often or talk for so long that she will have to resort to that. I'm thinking of spacing things out quite a bit.
In any event, I think that I have finally come to the realization that I am simply not comfortable, especially in 1on1 situations. I probably knew this already long before, and that I've been told this many times as well, but hearing it and listening to it is a bit different than knowing it finally deep down in your soul.
So now I need to know how to be comfortable; I suppose it isn't exactly the same as being relaxed.
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