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 Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2007 10:24 pm
A soft sigh that could be felt more than heard slipped from Liliana as her dear friend relaxed and moved closer. She could only nod that yes, they were both new at this, as she continued to clean at his face. If she could think better she would have reached into her bag for a potion to clean Endless. Perhaps. There was something cathartic about the act. Her tails swished to join his and she lay her wing lightly over top of him, welcoming him near. She could use a hug too.
She just had to be careful. Until she decided.
Pausing in her cleaning task Liliana lay her head beside his, shaking it softly. She wanted to say how it was still her fault, for being ignorant and blind and simply not thinking. But what she said was... "You? Endless... how could it possibly be you? I'm the one going around hurting the ones I love because I'm too much a fool to know my own heart."
Mewing softly Lily nudged his head with hers, then resumed cleaning.
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Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2007 10:47 pm
Endless shifted uncomfortably. Not anything that had to do with Lily, just with the subject... "I saw him kiss you... and I wanted to... hurt him. That's... why I left. I... don't want to turn into my... father..." He blinked a tear out of his eye. "I don't remember how much I told you... about how I lost my mom..." His entire body tensed, just for a split-second, but still obvious. "He killed her. Not directly, but he did it all the same."
He was silent for several moments before he finally continued. "He beat up some kitsu, guy didn't deserve it... I remember that much, even if I was a little kit. He couldn't get out to get his own food so mom took him some... my father found out and he attacked her, and when she tried to sneak out with me and my brother and sister to take us to my aunt and get her wound looked at, he nearly tore her throat out. The wounds got infected real bad... that's why she got sick and he abandoned her and dragged us with him."
He seemed to be struggling by this point. "I... I know I have a temper sometimes... and I've had to fight a lot, just to survive, because I always had to make my own way and not all places are as nice as here. But in there... I've never wanted to hurt someone like that. I couldn't... I couldn't stay..." His ears lay flat against his skull and the tension in his body started to come back. "I can't let myself be like him... I can't... I'd have to kill myself..."
He sighed. "I hope... I can be with you, but... while I can't say it didn't hurt to see that... I just wanted you to know I'm not mad... at you... or Ed. Well... not at Ed after the first five seconds." He turned to gaze soulfully into her eyes. "I'd rather die than let anyone hurt you, Lily... and that includes myself... I just hope I can find the courage to live for you, too..." A pause, and then, "I never had anything worth living for before I came here... I've got to do my best by you... all of you..."
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Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2007 11:32 pm
Liliana listened, inching closer, her heart aching with his pain. When it was clear Endless needed support she gave it to him, lightly nudging her head to his chin, cheek, or head, giving reassuring little licks after each. Though she made sympathetic sounds Lily did not speak until he had had his say and their eyes met. A golden tipped paw moved to rest tenderly over one of his paws and she smiled with tears of sympathy in her eyes. "You're not like him, Endless. You're not. The proof is in what you did... and what you didn't do. You turned away. You didn't fight. You made a choice, & even though you were angry and you chose the path that wasn't your father's."
Her tails were wrapped carefully around his, her petite body pressed close as possible while still being able to gaze into his eyes through moist green spheres. He needed her. Her own guilt could wait. "I know you do your best."
And before she thought beyond that her eyes slipped closed, Liliana closed the distance between their faces -and kissed him.
It was not passionate, but neither was it fully tentative. Soft, Tender, warm, loving -it was those. Apology & compassion too.
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Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2007 12:01 am
Endless kissed her back, almost feeling bad for not being able to hide the desperate whirl of love/want/need he had for her but simply unable to keep his feelings in check. He'd tied them all down too often, for too long, and they weren't going to let themselves be wrangled so easily. But... for a moment, at least, Endless had everything he wanted. If for some bizarre reason he should die in the next five minutes he could be happy with his life. And suddenly... he felt very, very tired. "I wish I could keep you..." he murmured sleepily.
He blinked himself back awake though, something hitting him now that he actually felt somewhat peaceful. Cousin. His eyes suddenly lit up - literally. "Iris... she called me Neb... that's what mom called me..." He looked utterly starstruck, just in a different fashion than earlier that night. "She's my cousin... she's really my cousin..."
And then Endless did something he'd never, ever, ever been seen doing before. He glomped his friend. "Lilylilylilylily!!! I have a COUSIN!" He'd never thought he'd see any of them again... but now... oh, was there anyway to explain it to her? He had family... like she did! This was... this was... oh wow.
He suddenly darted up and started running in circles, squeeling like a kit that just got an entire playground for a birthday present. At least until he tripped on a tree root and went tumbling and didn't bother getting up, joy and pain fighting eachother in his mind until they finally reached an uneasy equilibrium. He just lay there for a moment, shaking, and finally murmured, "I think my brain just broke..."
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Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2007 9:47 pm
Liliana was almost glad he broke the impromptu kiss when he did. It was still too many feelings too soon for her. His murmured words tugged painfully at her heart and she was suddenly thrust full-body into the tides of emotions and indecisions about Edward and Endless once more.
Then Endless... changed. The petite female fell over without a sound, green eyes wide as she was tackled with a hug by her friend. Registering what he said took a little time.
She watched, rolled over on her side, as he ran in circles. Her green eyes were wide, her expression frightened though the crimson female made no attempt to move her prone form, still clearly trusting the night hued male not to hurt her. what is going on? did he get a bad potion? Is he... playing? On one paw it was cute, on another it was quite disconcerning. When he fell she winced visibly but otherwise remained still. It was not until Endless murmured again and his words reached her gold tipped ears that the winged female shifted.
By giggling. A shaky uncertain breath fell from her and Liliana giggled a bit shrilly. "Yeah... I think I understand what you mean." Her brain felt a bit broke over her own emotions... perhaps that was what Endless meant. "It's nice to have cousins..." A puzzled look crossed her face quickly followed by one that could be of pain or hurt. "Neb?"
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Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2007 10:11 pm
"It was mom's nickname for me. I think it was short for nebula, or somthing... I thought she was the only one that knew it." He heaved himself upright, head tilted and concern creeping into his eyes at Lily's expression. "Iris. The one that walked past you? She's my older cousin. On my mom's side. I... I never thought I'd see any of them again. I spent most of my remembered life without family, Lily. It's... I don't know if I can explain it."
He walked over to her and rested his forehead against Lily's shoulder. "But I'm Endless now... I'm me, I'm your friend. I'll always be your friend." What was he trying to say? "I've always been able to trust you, and you've never let me down. You've been there for me when I didn't think anyone could be. Or would be. You're family, too... no matter if we stay just friends or not. It's just nice to have more family... and have blood family again. I guess it... makes me feel like I didn't fail mom, somehow."
He looked up at Lily, eyes full of confusion, wonder, joy, pain... more things than could probably be named. But for once there really wasn't any trace of despair. Iris had come after him, and Lily had come after him... "I belong here. You proved that. And I know you need to make a decision now... but I don't mind waiting. And I trust that whatever decision you make it will be the right one. And I'll be here for you no matter what." He leaned over and hugged her again, this time a bit more normally for him, but for once he wasn't bothering to guard himself. "And... we'll just talk about it if you feel like you need to, ok? Like I said before... I don't want to pressure you into making a decision. Especially... not now. ...But I will bother you about Potions. And Atae, who probably needs a hug about now..."
He paused, frowned, opened his mouth, closed it, and finally opened it again and said something. "And I'm rambling. ...You can talk now."
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Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2007 10:53 pm
She sighed softly, more from relief than anything else s his head touched her shoulder. Her eyes closed for moment before sliding open again. Listening. Listening was easier than talking. And much easier than deciding. Green eyes darted away when Endless mentioned her making a decision. Right now the crimson furred femme almost felt that she would want to put off doing such forever if she could. Of course at the same time she knew that was illogical, and the longer it ws put off the more it would hurt them all. But it was not easy...
She chuckled softly. "I... don't know if I can talk, Endless..." She paused, trying to get her thoughts into some semblance of order. Being kissed by two males in one day was not helping. Not when she was trying to talk halfway reasonably to one of them. "Nebula... that makes sense, with your coat. And Iris is her name? Your cousin? The one I met? She told me where you were..."
Her voice faltered as her thoughts lingered again on what she must do. How could they have come to love her like that? Was it something she had done? And what should she do now? She did not love them like family... one did not kiss family like that. Especially one did not kiss family like that and want more. A quick close of her eyes to clear her thoughts a little and she tried to speak again. "I'm... glad you have family. I don't know what I'd do without mine... I'll... be there for your lessons, Endless. I was leaving... told Atae... told her I'd find you. Leaving Hemi there sleeping." Her ears flattened self consciously to her head, tails moving to curl around her. "I want to talk to my daddy..."
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Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2007 11:13 pm
"You're... family. More than family. Friend... more than friend. I don't know..." He seemed to be musing aloud. "You're more important to me than me. I don't know how else to put it, what I can call you right now. It's all very... confusing, isn't it?" He nudged her shoulder, having placed his head back against it. "You go talk to your father. And anyone else you need to. You know where to find me if you need me, and I'll wait... until the stars stop shining, if you need me to."
He blew on the tip of her ear gently and stuck out his tongue impishly as he backed a couple of paces away so she could apparate safely. "I'll tell Hemi where you are. Don't worry about it. And don't worry about me. I'll be ok." As long as Lily was going to be happy, he'd swallow whatever pill he was dealt. Even if it took until the end of existence... "Go on. I'll see you tomorrow or something, whenever my next lesson is."
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Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2007 11:30 pm
She listened and again could not speak, though a warm look of tenderness and gratitude filled her being. Her ear twitched as Endless blew on it and her body shivered. It too was on edge from the overflow of emotions. But she grinned. "You can't stop me worrying. But thanks, Endless. Thanks for everything."
Liliana did not bother to rise, but released her wand from its holster and apparated to her mother's gardens in hopes her father was there. Perhaps mother too could help. It certainly would show how much this was bothering her, should Lily seek her mother's advice.
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