|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sat Aug 11, 2012 10:32 pm
"Alright, alright..." Lizzy muttered, settling for patting him on his arm, since she couldn't quite reach his head, "I'm just saying that... There is no shame in crying. Just so you know."
She had seen big men cry. Not a pretty sight, no, but... Necessary. The good thing about being a ghoul was that crying seemed almost normal; for a boil to cry... Well, society is a silly thing.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Aug 11, 2012 10:36 pm
"Crying was always seen as a weakness..." Shun murmured, while still working on keeping his composure.
"Where there was weakness... there was punishment.. Was told.. pain is weakness... leaving the body," he continued. In which, if that was true, he had a hell lot of weakness right now.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2012 3:25 am
"A weakness? No. Not here... You need to learn to let go of the past a bit," Lizzy replied firmly, giving his arm a squeeze, "Do you know that the first thing newborn scarelings do is to cry? It doesn't matter what race you are - all scarelings cry when they first emerge from their pumpkin because they need that first intake of Fear. Scarelings that can't cry... Can't take in the Fear needed for them to survive. I bet nobody ever told you that."
She paused, sighing softly, "Pain is your body's way of warning you, Shun. When you touch something scorching hot, and your body is not built for heat, you feel pain - that's why you release your hold on that object. Right now, what you're doing is that you're holding onto whatever is causing you emotional pain. You don't know how to deal with that the same way you can deal and bear with physical pain - so I'm telling you to let go of your thoughts for revenge. Stop being so hard on yourself."
Her grip on his arm had tightened now, and she was beginning to sound a little agitated; not really at Shun, but at the fact that she didn't know how to convince him to try something that was probably a taboo for him when he was growing up, "If you yell, if you shout, if you cry, I'm not going to judge you. If you're that worried about it, go do it where someone can't see you, but don't ever bottle it in."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2012 9:05 am
Shun glanced down as she squeezed his arm, grimacing. No, no one had told him about the baby thing. But scarelings were weak. They can't take care of themselves.
However, the thing regarding pain caused a little bit of anger to spur up within him.
"Revenge has nothing to do with why I'm hurting right now," he hissed while staring into her eyes, "The reason why I'm in pain? It's this thing called love. It's because she doesn't remember me. Because she no longer feels for me and may never. A-and the notion that sh-she might be better off that way."
He was shaking again. His good eye might have seemed a little glossy but he was fighting against it with all his might. Breathing heavily, he took a few moments to try and get himself to calm down.
"N-now you're saying I need to let go of what's hurting me, but a few minutes ago you refused to let me cut ties. So which is it Lizzy?" he whispered.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2012 9:29 am
"I'm saying that your desire for revenge is wearing you down, and not helping you with your pain," Lizzy stared back even though Shun's mafia background must be helping him; even with only one good eye, she had to admit that he looked pretty intimidating, "And what you should be letting go isn't your love for Mitsu, or your ties with anyone. It's yourself. I have no doubt that you've been blaming yourself all this time. It's unhealthy."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2012 9:36 am
"Is it so bad that I have a goal for wanting a little peace of mind?" he asked her, wording the revenge bit a little differently, "If... if this is about Medea's deal I don't even really have to go to her to achieve that end. It probably would help though."
Gritting his teeth, he looked to the side, then back to Lizzy again, "Since the notion seems to bother you so much, let's put it this way. If I do something about that hunter, she won't be able to pull this s**t on anyone else ever again. The same can be said if somehow the other hunters were taken care of."
Relaxing a little, Shun glanced away once more.
"I can't cut ties with myself. Not unless you're hoping it was me who had gotten amnesia instead."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2012 9:55 am
"So, you really will feel better if you inflict hurt onto that hunter in return?" Lizzy asked, her voice going softer and softer until she was almost mumbling, "I witnessed the start of something on the island. There was that hunter Professor Red once disguised herself as. Medea had taken someone she loved or obviously cared about as a hostage... To let us escape, yes, but the means does not always justify the ends... If you go after Candace, someone who cares about her will come after you or someone else you care about, Shun..."
A long pause followed as she seemed to really, seriously consider what he was saying, "Maybe that was what the hunters were thinking too, when they destroyed the horsemen's home. I wish it was that easy for us. I really do. A life without hunters... Would be perfect." For some reason, a thought like that made her tear up; maybe somewhere deep inside, she knew that a world like that does not exist, "Maybe not, but you can start with the little things."
She took a step back so that she was standing on a step that was behind Shun's, making her a little taller. She then started patting him on his head, "I know we had this conversation before, and no, I still have no real idea why I do this. I just think that it's comforting for people, unless you would prefer a hug.'"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2012 10:06 am
"The best way to get to someone is to target those they care for most..." Shun uttered quietly. When she brought up the scene she witnessed, he looked over towards her, "And in a way... this is why friends and the like really are a weakness."
He let out another breath.
"If nothing is done, the hunters will still do these things. That much has been proven already, has it not? You were captured by them for a time. Had you harmed any of them before that happened?" he asked.
"Violence may breed violence but 'fighting' back with peace won't help us either. Lizzy.. whether you like it or not.. a war can only end if one side completely gives in. If the two sides manage to decide they can get along, or if one or both sides are wiped out..." he said quietly before looking up as she took a step back, "Unfortunately I don't think any of those options are really all that viable for this war..."
His eye dropped back towards her feet as she began to pat his head.
"...Do what you will.."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2012 10:45 am
"I still prefer to see them as sources of strength," Lizzy muttered, continuing to pat the boil on her head the same way she used to do for Amrita, whenever the ghoul was upset, "It's true. When they captured me, they probably just saw me as a pest. I was so angry back then. So angry... I... They were hurting Lattice! And... I know... I just feel that it is so ironic. We were born from human emotions, and yet, they are trying to get rid of very creatures they created."
She sighed again, for the umpteenth time that day, "I wish fighting back with peace would help. I really do. The would would be a better place if more people did not see violence and revenge as the only options to end a war. Or win it."
Since he wasn't resisting, she continued to pat his hair.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2012 10:53 am
"The only way to fight back with peace.. is if you manage to get everyone to do that. That isn't really possible. Someone.. somewhere will cast a stone. And things will erupt once more," Shun said quietly, "I'm certain I'm not the only one who practically has violence in the blood. There's the horsemen, as well as those who did follow Medea that day."
He knew he wasn't the only one.
"Even if I don't try to get back at her for doing this, I don't think that will stop much of anything. I still have blood on my hands. And my guess is that they won't be too happy about the raid. Unless... you feel that we should have left the captives to rot instead of doing something about it."
There was a darker edge in his voice as he said that last thing.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2012 11:06 am
Lizzy kept quiet, the only sound she was making was the sound from her patting his hair; she didn't like thinking of it as impossible. A lot of things were impossible. The fairer it is, the greater the idea, the more difficult it is to achieve. The right path is always the harder path... It's easier to hit someone in the face when you're angry, than to let it go. It's humiliating at times, even. You get called out for being weak, a coward.
Especially here in Halloween.
"If I did, I wouldn't have betrayed my own conscience and did what I thought I had to do," Her hand stopped moving, resting on his head, "I'm going to keep that little mark on my skin as a reminder of the day Medea wanted revenge so much, she was willing to start something that yes, almost wiped out the hunters, but almost wiped out the horsemen and students who were there as well. I don't think she's the kind of person who lets things get out of her control... You're right. I can't bring peace to Halloween, but if I can bring you peace? That's enough for me."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2012 11:18 am
Grimacing, Shun shifted his weight a bit before leaning against the wall of the stairwell.
"So I'm just a little personal project for you in a way. One hell of a project too. Do you really think it'd be a good thing if I went pacifist? I think that might be kind of eerie. I... wouldn't really be myself."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2012 1:08 pm
"Because Shun is worth investing time and feels in," She ruffled his hair a little, offering him a small smile, "Like I said. I can't see you leading a perfectly pacifist life, but... I don't know... I was kind of hoping that you wouldn't make a living out of the suffering of others, you know? For now though... Promise me you won't go to Medea?"
Small steps, right?
"And ask Xiu for help. Get a good night's sleep, and let's go rooftop yelling tomorrow."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2012 1:16 pm
Shun was silent for a little while there, but then he went on and ran a hand through his hair to fix it a bit after she had ruffled it.
"You're really intent on keeping me from taking Medea's offer, aren't you?" he asked while eyeing her. Then he sort of shifted again and shook his head, "I don't thrive on hurting others. But I usually don't regret it when I do. There.. are exceptions of course, but don't you think that might be a little bit of a problem? I might not end up making a living off of the suffering others but most likely I'll probably end up hurting others one way or another... if you know what I mean."
He wasn't making any promises. Not yet. As for getting sleep and whatnot, he wasn't so sure about that either. At the moment at least.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2012 1:24 pm
"Yes, I am. I don't trust Medea. My spider sense is tingling," Lizzy replied seriously, pausing for a bit before ruffling his hair and messing it up again, "Let's minimize the number of people you end up hurting then."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
