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 Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 1:40 am
"No problem first thing tomorrow we can visit her again. Oh hey that reminds me." Attor then whistled and down flew bubo only baring one letter. It wasn't from Lucian so it had to be from Elliot. Attor untied it with a curious look. Why hadn't Lucian sent a message back? What did it mean? Attor seemed a little worried but it was soon calmed as Ty spoke about Qudditch. Attor seemed to look more sad then anything, mad at himself for missing it all.
"hmm I'd like to see that in the future though." Attor said with a laugh before starting to dig into the food. "Then dig in before I eat it all." Ever since that year of starving himself Attor easily consumed enough for 4 people on his own.
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Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 1:46 am
Ty smiled and took The letter and sat as he started to pull food close and pick at it a little while he read the letter from Elliot. He would try to come visit as soon as he could. He would need to figure out how to get out to where they were but he would send a letter ahead of time. He said soon though. He told Attor and smiled happily as he wiggled. "I hope hes not too upset that i came here first. I just didn't think hiding in Diagon alley would be a good place and i didn't want him to get in trouble if my dad found him in person too..." he said as he ate some, not as much at Attor but more then the mac and cheese last night.
"Oh i dunno it wasn't very pretty...It was kinda scary and whos knows what could happen the next time i drink some wine..." he said worried that if he did it around attor he...well he didn't know what could happen but it was soemthing to worry about.
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Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 2:04 am
Attor blinked at the letter as Tynan told him about it. He didn't seem upset but distant. He was still worried that Lucian had not replied back to the last letter. "I'm sure he isn't upset. Elliot can be a logical thinker...sometimes..." Attor was trying to think of Elliot that he used to call friend before he understood his feelings for Ty.
"I'm sure you will be fine." Attor said with a laugh. "First time is the worse second the third are much different, and after that it looses its thrill some what." Attor said with a nod. "But I'm not going to force you, I can drink it myself over time." Attor continued to eat, but finally eyed bubo. "Bubo....did you drop a letter?"
The owl shook her head and poofed insulted by the suggestion.
"Alright alright sorry....Bubo you diva bird...." Attor sighed moving his fingers in an odd way nervous there there was no word from Lucian.
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Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 2:10 am
Ty looked at him and nodded as he ate. "Yes. I just hope he still cares about me...I hope it doesn't change anything..." He didn't want to be ugly to his boyfriend. he didn't know what elliot would think of the marks or the scars they would leave on his back but he sure hoped that it wouldn't change things, he didn't think it would but he was still worried.
"Were you expecting something back too?" he asked as he put the letter away and ate some more as he watched the male and laughed a little. "I might drink just a little but it has to be for something special."
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Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 2:36 am
"If anything he will be more attracted I happen to know for a fact your boy like scars." Attor said chewing on some odd looking veggie. As he remembered Elliot goes nuts other the scars on Attor's face.
"Uh...well you see Lucian always sends one back.....I don't understand why there isn't...makes me nervous." and Attor said looking worried. "I'm sure there will be something we can find that is special enough for wine." Attor said trying to smile surely it was do for something good to happen to them both.
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Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 12:05 pm
Ty looked at him and frowned. He didn't know that Elliot had a thing for scars. Maybe this would work out great! He smiled a little and watched Attor eat, since he was done eating now himself, and leaned back in the chair. He didn't know what to think of this all but he would not let it bother him much longer if Attor could accept it and if elliot did too.
Looking at him he frowned. "Maybe what ever he would have said he just felt like telling you in person and he'll be over soon." Ty said with a shrug hoping that if he came over he wouldn't have to see the male in person.
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Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 3:53 pm
Attor wondered why Ty frowned at him. "When Elliot saw my scars way back when he just got really excited about them and said he thought they were cool, I didn't agree of course." Attor said with a small laugh.
"That's what I'm afraid of...." Attor said still eating it was amazing he kept a figure at all with how he was packing it in. "I don't wanna see him right now. I've got my real friend here..."
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Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 10:59 pm
Ty watched h im and smiled a little. "Oh i see. Well...i just hope he finds these ones cool too." he said as he looked at his friend and was wondering where all the food that he ate went. He smiled happily as he watched though and picked up another piece of chicken and nibbled on it some more.
"Oh well i mean cant you just ask him to leave or not let him in? Why do you have tokeep being friends with him?" he asked with a frown as he looked over his friend and wondered why he was still friends, in a way, with soeone he didn't like at all.
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Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 11:09 pm
Attor finally stopped eating but he pushed a chicken bone round on his plate a little. "I'm sure he will, or at the very least I know they wont bother him...I mean if it does I just kick his rump till he forgets they there.....or something."
Attor leaned on one hand while staring at his plate. "No I-I can't, I don't know why.....I can't, but I can't tell him he can't come over. I've not been able to tell him no...its....I can't explain it......And why am I still friends with him? I guess the same reason I can't tell him to leave....and he was sorta there for me....when I felt like, or tried to make myself alone...and cut myself off from my only family left. You...that is..." Attor hesitated to say it out loud but that's what he had tried to do. Not just move here but he wanted to forget things and Lucian gave him a way to do that.
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Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 11:21 pm
Ty watched him and nodded. "Yeah im sure it wont be a problem. Elliot has always accepted me why wouldn't he about this too..." he said softly as he blushed at the thought of showing Elliot his marks.
He paused when he said he had used Lucian to forget his only family...him...Ty? He had...had wanted to forget about him...and...push him away...thats why he left? That...That was why he was..had been smoking that...stuff. He fidgeted with his hair ashe frowned. "You...tried to forget a-about me? C-cause of Elliot huh?" He said softly as he looked at his lap. "And...smoked that stuff so...you wouldn't think about your feelings...cause...cause i love Elliot right?" He said softly as he started to see this was all Ty's fault that these things had happened...
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Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 11:50 pm
Attor put his fork down and sat up not looking at Tynan. He hadn't meant for it to be taken quite like that, but in away it was true. Attor started that old nervous habit of rubbing his hands together. "I-I....y-yes.....I did....i couldn't t-take it anymore...I wanted everything to go away. The night terrors of my dad trying to kill me. The fact that my mom has even stopped sending me letters, the fact that I heard she was pregnant and I'll have a sibling that will never know me, and the fact...that....I can never have the one I love the most...the one...I feel like...I'm meant to be with....feeling I'll be alone or have to just settle for someone else...I c-couldn't take it anymore....I hope that maybe...maybe I could get rid of my former self and start over. And Lucian promised me that....welcomed me into his gang of friends...and showed me the drug....maybe it wasn't the smartest idea I've ever had but I was desperate." Attor's eyes slowly tried to look at Tynan but he had problems making eye contact at the very least. "I know now it wasn't the right thing to do...cause I want you in my life rather we are together or not..." Attor said hoping Tynan wouldn't take this all the wrong way.
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Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2011 12:01 am
Ty looked at him as he spoke...all this had been happening and Attor hadn't told him?He frowned....he thought...felt that they were ment for eachother? But...he frowned more as he pulled at his hair nervously. This was his fault...why...why was he so mean to his friend. He love Elliot more then anythign and he loved Attor just as much....He knew he coudln't choose one over the other but...he was hurting his friend so much. "I was hurting you and i...didn't know it..I...I'm such a fool...I...How..." he felt tears now. "What...why....why do i make things in my life so hard..." he said as a whisper to him self mostly. He whimpered and looked at Attor. "i'm sorry i hurt you...i never ment to...i don't want to...Your...yourmy family...my best friend." he didn't know that he would ever have Attor as a lover, he wanted Elliot for that as much as his heart longed for Attor he would always love Elliot and felt he was ment for him as well as Attor...he was ment for both of them but he couldn't have them both. "I...I hurt you so much and i don't mean to...Why did you let me come if i...just cause you pain?" he asked as the tears fell now.
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Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2011 12:27 am
Attor slid into his chair he hadn't meant to tell Tynan this and didn't want him feeling this way or blaming himself for anything. "I didn't want you to know...I never did...I didn't want you to blame yourself for pain that is my doing. I just wanted you to forget me too. If I vanished I hoped we could both just forget....you could be with Elliot and I could try to find someone else...."
Attor hugged his elbows before speaking again. "Don't say your sorry for being you and loving Elliot....cause that's all you've done...you've done nothing wrong. I know that now." Attor sighed seeing Ty cry always made him want to but he just couldn't this time.
"Because.....I love you...and want you in my life one way another...and you were in trouble...I had to do something...I rather feel and hurt again then anything to happen to you...but its getting easier I think.....I'm just happy to be a family with you again...."
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Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2011 2:02 pm
Ty frowned harder and felt the tears falling. "You...thought i would just...forget about you?" He asked looking at him. "You...you were the first person to really treat me like i was normal and...didn't just flake off and stop talking to me...you...You were my first real friend! As long as i live i never would have forgotten you even though im with Elliot. Nothing could make that happen..." He said as he cried.
Sniffling he looked at him and frowned. How could he not blame himself! He had caused all this. He had made his friend want to forget him! He had done everything wrong it seemed. He looked at him and listened when he said he just was glad to have him here as family...cause they were all each other had left. He carefully curled his legs into the chair and rested his head onhis knees and cried. He didn't know what he was supposed to do or say and think! He had hurt him so much! He felt aweful just being here.
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Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2011 7:48 pm
Attor clicked his tongue and looked to the floor. What had he done...he should have never told Tynan about all that. Why could he hold his tongue round everyone, but Ty?
"I hoped you would..but it wasn't really working for me either...if I missed a beat on the cigs my first thought was how you were doing. Look I made a mistake ok...Im sorry, but its over now....Your here....I've not touched the cigs....." Attor wished he knew what to say to get Ty to stop crying. Finally Attor got out of his chair and pulled a chair up beside Ty. He sat there for a moment before leaning over to hug Ty. "I'm sorry I really am...will you forgive me?" Attor was determined that Ty should stop blaming himself for this.
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