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 Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2014 11:12 am
Zexion frowned as Axel began to cry out about the pain. “I’ll take it away, Axel. I just need you to take a drink of water first, okay? You need water, or you’ll feel even worse. Come on, just drink a little for me,” he told the redhead in a soft, yet strong voice. He held the glass up to Axel’s lips. “Just take a deep breath and drink a little bit of water, then I can help you, alright? I don’t want you to hurt, Axel,” he told him, looking at him with pleading, hopeful eyes. “Just a little sip, then you can lay back down,” he pleaded with him.
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Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2014 9:05 pm
Axel could feel his body going beyond his control. He honestly felt trapped in his own skin with all of this pain circulated through him. As Zexion spoke, it sounded foggy and distance like Axel was slowly falling into an abyss that just opened up in the floor. Maybe he really had fallen... Maybe this pain was coming from his body sinking into the complete blackness of death. It certainly felt like he was dying. Axel was in so much pain that he didn't realize that he was hyperventilating and sobbing. But even though he could barely hear the slate haired male right next to him, he did drink from the glass when it was put up to his lips. He was able to get it down well enough at first despite the fact he was so shaken up, but towards the end he had to push the glass away as he started to choke a bit. Although he felt like his throat was completely dry, he couldn't get even half the glass down. Everything was just too much. "... help me... help me..zex-..ion.. please..please help me..." Axel sobbed in a sad, repetitive mumble over and over for a good minute or so. The entire time leaned against the other until his body finally gave out. After the minute, Axel simply just passed out onto Zexion's torso still curled up into a ball.
As sad as the sight was, once the redhead had passed out, his breathing did regulate. Now unconscious, he seemed to go into a small coma-like state with the only sign that he was still even alive being the shaky breathes that were pushing his chest out and then back in. He looked a hell of a lot more peaceful sleeping then he did just minutes before after being wake, but it was obvious that Axel need serious help or something. He wasn't going to make it much long on this path. He was literally killing himself like this, but he was so determined to keep moving even when he stumbled.
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UnDeadReaper95 Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Jul 06, 2014 11:24 am
"Oh, Axel..," whimpered Zexion as tears streamed down his face. He held the redhead in his arms and rocked the unconscious man gently. No matter what he had done in the past, Axel was trying so hard. No one deserved to suffer like this. It killed Zexion to see him like this.
The slate-haired male buried his face in the unruly red locks and closed his eyes, wishing he could do more to him. "You'll get through this," he whispered, grip tightening around him. "We'll both make it through this. I promise."
Slowly, Zexion scooted both of them against the nearby wall, and he leaned his back against it. He was trying to disturb Axel as little as possible, so he just let him sleep on top of him, whether Zexion was uncomfortable or not. It was Axel that mattered right now.
The small male sat there, gently stroking the redheads back for hours. He didn't even need a blanket because the redhead was burning up so bad. Those hours he sat awake gave hom time to think peacefully. About Roxas and Demyx , about himself and Axel, about the extent of all of their relationships together. About Axel and his drug problem and how hard he was trying to fix it and himself and his relationship. How Zexion felt like he wouldn't last too much longer like this. He needed to be admitted to a rehabilitation center, but he also needed someone to help him through.
He sighed and looked down at Axel, unconscious in his arms and curled into himself. "One more week...then I'll make that decision, whether he wants it or not," he whispered to himself before closing his eyes and dozing off a few minutes later.
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Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2014 11:03 am
Axel woke up the next day around one in the afternoon. He didn't know how much sleep he had got, but it was the most restful sleep he had gotten in two weeks. When he woke up this time though, he could actually process some of his surroundings. He remembered Zexion being there with him, and he remembered crying last night, but he couldn't really remember anything before that other than pain. The redhead, after laying in Zexion's arm for a little be longer, decided to get up. His body creaked and groaned as his joints and bones popped from being asleep for so long. As he stood up, he noticed the pain today wasn't as bad. It still hurt to move, but it wasn't unmanageable. His skin still burned a little too, but Axel, upon examining his arms, realized that was probably from the claw marks.
The redhead looked down at the other after standing and gave a soft smile. He didn't know why he felt so comforted having Zexion with him, but it made him feel like there was still something to hold onto. Unable to let the kid sleep on the floor, he lifted him up and laid him back on the bed. The emerald eyes stared down at the form for a moment after covering him up with the blanket. The feeings he had for Zexion were swelling up again. Cautiously, he leaned down and kissed the other on the forehead. "Thanks for this, Zexion... You don't know much you helped by just being here." He whispered as he pressed his forehead to his friend's head. He closed his eyes for a moment and soaked in the moment of having the other person, before he stood up again.
He walked down into the kitchen and started a search for food, coffee, and painkillers. After fifteen minutes, he had to give up on finding real food and settle for just the coffee and painkillers. He hadn't bought groceries in a month, so he didn't even have crumbles big enough for a mouse in the apartment. He popped the headache medication down with some water with little hope as he waited for the coffee. The low-grade over the counter medication would probably do nothing for him since he had developed such a tolerance, but he felt the need to humor himself by trying.
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UnDeadReaper95 Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2014 3:05 pm
Zexion stirred not fifteen minutes after Axel left the room. He groaned as he felt the pain in his back from being slumped against the wall with Axel in his lap all night. Yawning, he gave a big stretch then sighed as the pain began to subside. He smiled as he sat up in bed. In...bed...
He looked around frantically for Axel as he realized what was wrong with the situation. He was in bed, Axel was gone.... oh, god, what if he went out to be more drugs beach Zexion wasn't there for him? That's That's he heard a chair scoot back in the kitchen and the small thump of feet paid against the linoleum floor. And the smell of coffee hit his senses.
Blinking dumbly, he pulled himself out of bed and peeked into the kitchen, spotting the redhead pouring a cup of coffee, back turned to him. Zexion couldn't stop the smile from spreading across his lips.
"Can I get a cup of that?" He asked quietly as he walked into the room and plopped down into a chair beside the one Axel was sitting in. He observed him for a moment. "You seem to be moving around pretty well considering your state last night," he said happily, propping his chin up on his palm as he watched him move around. "It's nice seeing you like this," he added in an even softer voice.
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Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2014 12:59 am
Axel turned from his cup of coffee when he heard the slate-haired male speak from the doorway of the kitchen. "Oh, sure," He replied softly before he reached up into one of the cabinets. Fortunately, coffee cups were one of the few things that were washed at the moment. "How do you take it? Black or with creamer? I mean I would say you could have milk, but I don't have any.." Axel asked as he rubbed the back of his neck and poured the second cup of dark liquid. "We.. err.. I have a little of sugar still left though," Axel stated as he mixed sugar into his cup with a spoon. He had to stop himself from saying we since Demyx didn't really live here anymore.
Axel took a deep breath in and out before he sipped the dark liquid with just the sugar in it. It was how he liked it unlike Demyx... Demyx didn't even come near it if it wasn't half milk and sugar... Axel was just starting to really realize it, but it hurt to be in a place where everything you do reminded you of what you used to do with another person...
"Oh yeah, I think it is because I actually got some good sleep... The rough patches come and go normally. You just happened to come during one of the bad times. I still have a pretty bad headache and some body aches... and the cravings are still there, it just is a little easier for me to handle them, having actually slept a little, I guess. I need to eat something though, I'm starving to death, and I literally have no food outside coffee and water." Axel said as he leaned back against the counter and looked down at the ground. "Demyx usually reminded me to go grocery shopping..." He spoke up finally, almost ashamed.
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UnDeadReaper95 Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2014 9:58 am
Zexion frowned as Axel began talking about Demyx. "I drink it black, so you don't have to worry about all that..," he told him softly. He knew Axel was regretting his actions, and that was good. He needed that in order to keep pushing through the pain towards recovery.
Zexion gave him a small smile, though, and said, "We'll go shopping after we're done with coffee. Here, I'll make a list." He stood and moved to a drawer in the kitchen specifically for junk and dug out a pen, throwing out a few that didn't work while he did so. He then procured a pad of paper from the living room and sat back down, beginning to write. "Milk, bread, eggs... Is there anything you're allergic to or won't eat?" He asked him as he wrote down "butter" and "sugar".
As he listened to Axel's answer, he took a moment to take in his appearance. Even sickly thin the man was beautiful. The only issue with his good looks was the sadness in those green eyes that appeared after thinking about Demyx. "Axel," he said suddenly, "I want you to know...that I really an proud of you for what you're working towards and how hard you're working. I really am. Not many people could go through what you are and make so much progress on their own." He paused and laughed a little, looking back down at the paper as he spoke next. "I'd like to be able to take responsibility for getting you back on your feet, but you've done all of this on your own free will." He looked back up at the redhead with an honest smile and finished. "But I really, really am proud of you. You will find happiness again, and I can't wait to see it happen."
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Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2014 7:37 am
Axel sighed a little as he picked up the other cup that he had poured the dark liquid into. "Yeah, that works too," He stated as he walked over to Zexion and handed him the cup of black coffee. He thought about taking a seat, but he felt like he needed to stand at the moment, so he returned to the counter and leaned against it. As he carefully sipped on the mug in his shaky grip, he watched the slate-haired male search for a pad of paper. He would have help him, but he didn't really know where was one either. It was kind of weird almost not having Demyx here to fill in the gaps. If his was completely honest with himself, his life while he was on drugs was pretty much this black blur of random moments in time. He remember doing things with Demyx in the beginning, and he remember spending most of his days with the blonde here at the apartment. Ultimately though, he almost exclusively couldn't remember half of the nights they had been together.
It was kind of upsetting to think about, but Axel had wasted so much of Demyx's and his relationship completely gone on drugs. That was why Axel was starting to doubt that he could even fix this now. Even if Axel did get cleaned up and what was left of their relationship to go back to? Particularly over the last six or so months of Axel's life, everything was this massive blackhole of drugs. He didn't remember what he enjoyed doing with Demyx, he didn't even remember much about himself anymore. He was just existing... and dragging Demyx along with him. It wasn't fair, and Axel knew that, and he just wasn't sure if he could put the blonde through having to be with him after all the bad times, even if things did get better. How was it fair that he had to forget about all the bad times, to make their relationship work again?
"Oh umm, no not I can really think of, I mean I'm not a big fan of vegetables and fruits, but I will eat them... Zexion I am going to be real honest with you, I don't think I have really tasted food, in like seven months. Drugs have this way of making everything else in your life bland and unattractive, so I couldn't tell you what I honestly like to eat. It all tastes gray to me, or well it used to at least." Axel mumbled being completely straight with the other. Mostly because there was no point in lying anymore. Everything in his life had become second to drugs, and now Axel didn't know how to function with that primary need in his life.
"....Thanks man, you don't need to say that kind of stuff just to make me feel better though, I know I have been a pretty crappy person here lately." Axel mumbled as he glanced away from Zexion and into his coffee mug. The blackness of the coffee comforted him as he watched the steam raise from it's depth. It was things like a cup of black coffee that gave him the most comfort in times like this, because through everything they never changed. Crappy person or not, the coffee was always the same. He didn't have to worry about it judging him or making him feel bad. It was just there continueously the same.
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UnDeadReaper95 Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2014 10:38 am
Zexion rolled his eyes at Axel slightly. He stood and walked over to stand in front of him. "Axel, I'm not just saying that. I really am proud of what you've accomplished so far," he told him, sureness in his voice. He reached up and grabbed onto his upper arms gently, running his hands up and down them. "Really. I can't lie. It's a terrible thing sometimes. Breaks up relationships and everything," he said, words a little strained towards the end. He swallowed thickly and turned from Axel, sitting back down to work on the grocery list.
"Um...so, we can get some cereal, and maybe some stuff for salads for me to eat... um..," he began listing and writing, voice trembling slightly as he tried to regain his composure. "We'll just drink water...um...I can get stuff to make cookies, and maybe some frozen chicken nuggets and stuff.
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Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2014 2:00 pm
Axel's emerald eyes startled up as heard the other get up. With confusion, he just looked down into Zexion's eyes as he spoke to him. Axel wasn't even sure why the other's touch affected him like it did, but as Zexion grabbed his shoulders, Axel thought his skin might be on fire. "Zexion.." He mumbled slowly looking at him with reached up and carefully grabbed one of his arms. "...I don't think it's a bad thing for you not to lie..." He whispered back, but he was almost sure that the slate-haired didn't hear him as he turned away from him. The redhead glanced away almost ashamed of himself. He could feel his body wanting something from the other male. He couldn't get high and so now his body was looking for the next best thing.
Slowly the redhead bit his lip as he thought about the times that he had slept with the slate-haired male. He was high for most of them, but there was a few times were he wasn't. Yeah, he loved Demyx, but there was also this part of him that loved the way that Zexion needed him. Demyx had always had this independence that Axel could never get out of him. Demyx could be his own person without Axel, he was sure, but Zexion really just seemed to need another person. Axel slowly walked over to Zexion and pulled a chair up to him so he could sit closer to him. "... is it wrong that I feel something between us? I mean I know all that bad crap happened and you had to break up with your boyfriend, and just... everything... but I can't escape the fact that I want to be with you, Zexion... Is that make me a bad person?" Axel asked softly looking at him directly in the face. He wanted to know if Zexion felt the same way, because if he didn't, then Axel needed to abandon these feelings once and for all.
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UnDeadReaper95 Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2014 2:20 pm
Zexion tensed up as Axel sat beside him and began to ask him these questions. He gave a shaky sigh and set the pen back down, turning to Axel. He looked up into his eyes for a moment then shook his head slowly. "No," he said, almost choking on his words, "It doesn't..." Tears built up in his eyes, and he leaned forward into Axel's chest. "God, what's wrong with us?" he whispered. "We both had amazing boyfriends, and we ******** it all up...and look where we are now." He pulled back and looked up at Axel, tears rolling down his cheeks, before he buried himself in his chest again, wrapping his arms around him desperately.
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Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2014 2:53 pm
As Zexion leaned forward onto him, Axel bit into his lip again. He wasn't sure what they were and what it was okay to do. As the slate-haired male wrapped his arms around his thin torso, Axel reciprocated the embrace as he wrapped his arms around the other's body. "You know I may a complete douchebag in saying this, but maybe we just weren't supposed to be with them. It doesn't matter if they were the best boyfriends in the world, if they weren't right for us, then it just wasn't going to work.. you know what I mean?" Axel told him softly as he just laid his head on the other's shouder. He wasn't trying to say that them cheating on Demyx and Roxas was a good idea, but there had to be a legitimate reason for them doing it over and over. There just had to be something here.
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UnDeadReaper95 Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2014 4:26 pm
Zexion sniffed and gave a shaky sigh as he laid against Axel's chest. He thought about his words. What if Roxas wasn't the right one for him? What if Demyx and Axel weren't meant to be together? What if it was supposed to be like this? Him and Axel?
He pulled away and wiped his face off to clear his tears away. He took a moment to breathe deeply and calm himself down before he looked up at Axel. "Let's...let's take this a day at a time...and...and once you're out of this rut again, we'll sit down and talk to Roxas and Demyx. Once everything's calmed down." He gave Axel a soft smile. "For now, I have a list to make and some groceries to buy."
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Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2014 6:30 pm
Axel frowned as he realized just how upset that he had made Zexion. He comfortingly rubbed at Zexion's back trying to make him feel a little better. "Sounds like a plan, although I don't know how well telling our exs that we are going to be together is going to work out. I mean I feel like asking their permission at this point would just make them mad, but maybe that is just my thought process." Axel told him as he pulled back from the other and pushed his chair a little bit farther away. He didn't want to make Zexion feel uncomfortable. "...can we get some spicy food? I use to really like spicy food like especially asian and cajun, but Demyx could barely stand mild stuff, so i kind of gave up eating spicy food.
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UnDeadReaper95 Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2014 8:06 pm
Zexion frowned slightly at Axel's words. No, they wouldn't take it well, but it was a conversation they all needed to have. It had to happen, or there would be no chance of them all recovering from this.
He was snapped out of his thoughts when Axel asked if they could get spicy food. "Sounds good to me. We can go by the Oriental Market and get some stuff for curry. And get you some bags of hit fries or something to munch on. How about stuff to make chili?" He asked him, smiling once more. He had to keep a smile on for both himself and Axel. Else they would both drown in depression.
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