Welcome to Gaia! ::

I'm having to decide if it's worth it to keep working at this place. At $9/h 16h/week I'm just not sure it's still worth it, even if I don't have another job. I don't know, it's been frustratingly dull, and I just got a customer who wasn't so pleasant to deal with.

He's complaining about a part for his machine we ordered but hasn't arrived yet for months now. I told him if the brand company/manufacturer doesn't have the part there's nothing we can do but wait. And that if the wait is too long it's up to the customer to cancel it. Oh well, whatever, I gave that headache to the head office let them deal with it.

That's another thing. The Head Office people are getting harder and harder to deal with. We've had a couple of repair order customers who brought in parts with their units only to have some of it go missing and the H/O will blame us for not reporting it soon enough, or will put the responsiblity of reimbursing the customer solely on us. It's ridiculous. They're less and less cooperative, and they only have themselves to blame for "being so busy". It's not an excuse if you refuse to hire more staff.

Now, the fact that I need money, that I need MORE money, makes it difficult for me to just up and leave. I can't just quit cause then my family would be in trouble, but I can't find a better job cause I don't have the right education, and I don't have the right education cause I can't afford to go to school, and i can't afford to go to school cause my job sucks. And I want a girl, I want a girlfriend, not just a ******** buddy. But I can't find one cause I don't know for any number of reasons girls just don't attract to me on just appearance. Then there's the fact that I can't afford to go out to clubs or bars or other places where girls might congregate because I don't have the money, nor the transportational means to just hop around from bar to bar or club to club, and I can't afford any of those dating websites. Oh, and my mom's actually asked me to get a second job when my brother doesn't have one. It's all very stressful and draining and I'm about to just give up.

I'm also getting out of shape and probably going insane from lack of real physical activity. Can't go to a nice gym cause I don't have the money, but I also don't seem to have the will. I feel like stewing, even though I don't want to, and that I want to be able to run and jump and do stuff again.

The only bright spots these past few weeks is the possibility of creating a comic book, and the possibility of a girl, even though I've never met her face to face, and that she may or may not have a drug habit involving E, and that she definitely does marijuana. I don't know, I'm going crazy.

heh, I feel the same, Dave. I'm also very bitter. There's this woman on the radio who attests that finding someone to sleep with depends a lot on how 'hot' a guy is. When one of the hosts asked "What if he had a nice smile, but he wasn't overtly hot, but he wasn't ugly either, he smelled nice, and had a wicked personality?" She replied with "Depends on how many drinks I've had".

Rage? Bitterness? Anger? That's me, too. I want my counselling done on a punching bag, though.

It's only a problem if it's not normal! xd

Through communicating my anger to the source I have rid myself of it, luckily; it is not something I care to experience much in the future.

In my exploring I am uncovering countless methods of how one can achieve his dreams, ideals, desires, etc, but nowhere can I figure out how I am supposed to figure out what those are in the first place. It is the lack of those things which attach me to suffering.

Argh! Exams are taking their toll on me, I'm glad the two I was most anxious about are over but I still have two on wednesday, one on thursday and two next monday. Everytime I'm by myself I get the kind of worrying that starts in your stomach. Last night I spent 2 hours trying to get to sleep due a combination of exam stress and my room being too hot. Please exams, go away. Monday afternoon is my own version of heaven right now.

So I've got a four day mini-vacation this weekend, right before I hit a near-solid twelve days of work (and seeing as how we've lately been so busy that I haven't managed to sit down for more than 15 minutes total (besides lunch) in an 8 hour shift, I'm going to be running like crazy those 12 days). I made plans for a solitary camping trip for three of those days, just me and the woods. Then my sister said she'd be interested in coming. Since she's like me - pretty quiet and not really clingy - I said sure. Then I asked Dad if I could borrow his camp stove and the tent. He said sure. Then he told my mom that my sis and I were going camping. She walked into my room not forty minutes ago and asked if I wouldn't mind a bit more company on the trip. Turns out that my other sister, she, and my dad all want to come. They need to get out of here too, you see, and she looked so hopeful that I couldn't say no. So. I'm going to the store tomorrow to buy camp food, not for one person, or even two, but for FIVE. I wanted some me time this weekend, not family time! But since it's my dad's equipment, and my mom's right, we could ALL use a change of scene, my hands are kinda tied. Maybe I'll find some time to slip off by myself and do some contemplation of nature like I'd planned.

*pouts* Why does no one ever get that "I need to be alone" means "LEAVE ME ALONE"!!!!

soooooo mad right now

Because of a repair order write-up error on my part, the H/O decided not to repair an item, thus punishing the customer. It just pisses me off how they could, why they would, do that bullshit. I just wanted to hit something while I was on the phone with them, it's ridiculous.