|
|
| self harm |
| i am a self harmer |
|
72% |
[ 31 ] |
| i am NOT a self harmer |
|
9% |
[ 4 ] |
| i do not self harm but i know others who do |
|
16% |
[ 7 ] |
| i don't know what self harm is |
|
2% |
[ 1 ] |
|
| Total Votes : 43 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sun Jun 12, 2005 9:38 am
This is the most posted-in thread in the guild. I think I am correct to say that it's because if you post about self-injury on the rest of Gaia you get a load of people who have very strong veiws on it even though they've probably only just heard of it on that thread (it always makes me think of the song Black Math - "I can't tell you how proud I am of writing down things that I don't understand").
Does anyone else here dislike the word 'cutting'? I hate it. That's probably just me, but it's worth asking.
I haven't done anything that isn't highly minor in ages. mrgreen
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jun 12, 2005 10:28 am
I had to hesitate and think before I voted.
I voted as a self-harmer.
(Doesn't anyone use the abbreviation SI around here? =/)
I used to injure myself daily. Then it dwindled down. And now I only use SI before I attempt suicide. Like a foreplay? Does that make sense?
Wow, I just realized that sounds really bad... Anyone else in my position?
heart
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 3:01 pm
unfortuneatly self injury or self harm hae become accepted inn todays society it's sad i mean well actually i dont know what i mean i mean i've been doning it for 7 yearss now but i cept it all destrete and i've kept myself at a distance anyways i think that it's not the right out let to express your self even if i do do it i mean wel i dont know.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 5:50 am
Vianette unfortuneatly self injury or self harm hae become accepted inn todays society it's sad i mean well actually i dont know what i mean i mean i've been doning it for 7 yearss now but i cept it all destrete and i've kept myself at a distance anyways i think that it's not the right out let to express your self even if i do do it i mean wel i dont know. i dotn think it has been accepted in society...if it truely has there would be more help out there for SI sufferers...i'm sick of hearing stories of people being told by so called "professionals" that si is "just a phase" or plain and simple "get over it"...without actually bothering to find the underlying causes that originally had started the habit... most SI'ers get addicted to the behaviour and it gets to the point there is no one trigger for it...the original problem might be long gone. In many cases SI for those who have been doing it for quite some time is the "lesser of two evils"...its often the one thing that stops us from doing somethin alot more drastic...it's something that can keep us alive... when i meet people who are thinking of si but have not yet started i tell them to stay away from it...those who are already caught in the cycle i try to support and help them quit...in the process helping to regain control of my own si...i hardly ever do it these days...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2005 12:53 pm
Now there are those that just piss you off. They run aroiund campus screaming !!!"LOOK AT ME I'M A CUTTER"!!! and no i'm not over exagerating. For instance there was this on girl i know her name is alexis she's been a close friend since kindergarten but then we kinda split up in the 7th grade. It was bound to happen friends go there seperate ways well before school let out she came up to my group and said it all loud to me i'm cutting a looked at her. "what the hell are you doing? telling the whole world?" i told her, "if you gonna cut do it descretely and right or better yet don't be stupid and don't do it at all. You see she had put a tiny scratch on her wrist and then carved the name of some guy really small next to it. i thought it was stpid to cut over a guy but i told her to calm down and to call me if she needed to talk. I wonder if that got through to her. I still ask myself did i d o the right thing? Should i have just taken her aside to talk to her and not humiliate her? Did i really humiliate her?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2005 9:18 am
weeping pixie i dotn think it has been accepted in society...if it truely has there would be more help out there for SI sufferers...i'm sick of hearing stories of people being told by so called "professionals" that si is "just a phase" or plain and simple "get over it"...without actually bothering to find the underlying causes that originally had started the habit. I think SI is very common, but those that don't do it or don't have friends that do it usually have know understanding or knowledge of it. sad
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2005 1:38 am
I've been self-injuring since I was 7 and i will be 30 in less then 2 wks so it has been going on for most of my life. It started with head banging, digging my nails into my flesh and little things like that then went to throwing myself down stairs, deliberately hitting my bones w/hammers to break them and that lead to cutting and burning myself. I have been in therapy since 1996 and have slowed down how often and how intense I cut(used to be everyday i would cut like 300-500 cuts now it only happens when I get too stressed, too depressed or too afraid and I lose my self-control and even then it will happen over the course of maybe a week and I will only have about 20-30 cuts). When I was cutting so badly that I even carved words down my arm when I dissociated in my sleep, my psychiatrist put me on ReVia which is an opiate blocker and stops the "high" you get when you s-i.
i dont mind the term "cutting" or being a "cutter"...after all, it is what i do...i dont like the fact that if people who dont really understand find out about it, you become known as "THE cutter"...i am lots of things, not just a cutter...unfortunately, people are very often ignorant and rude
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2005 3:05 am
The hate of that word is purely mine then.... ah well. It makes me wanna puke. So does 'carbs'. I hate a few offensive words too, but those are the weird ones. Eh... I'm a werido.
Crap. I've been doing it since I was about 8. Starting with hitting my head on a wall. The first time I did it, the wall was yellow. Now i scratch at my arms (usually during panic attacks), and pick at my skin. The SI way of picking your skin, which involves making little scars all over yourself and making every little injury to your skin about 5 times worse. gonk Drowning_ophelia6, thank you for posting. It's made me realise that if I don't stop what I do now i may just give into one of the urges I get to break my fingers or cut my arms up.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 10:34 am
I almost got into it. I tried to cut myself, but I found it a lot harder than it looked...maybe the knife was dull, I'm not sure, but I didn't go too deep. I'm not sure if I'll ever try it again, it made me have a horrible sick feeling in my stomach, even though it wasn't deep.
Some of my friends do it though. They'll use matches or their nails. I try to convince them not to, but they like it too much.
I knew someone that did the salt and ice thing too. She had a huge scar afterward though...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Aug 29, 2005 10:01 pm
Argh, I''m ******** cutting again. For a while I stopped, and then I just...couldn''t take it any more. I used to dig my nails in my skin when nobody was watching, but eventually even that wasn''t enough.
I''m trying not to scar, though...I made some pretty deep ones that scarred badly and my bf''s mom saw... she hates me because of my problems, but luckily for me my bf doesn''t care.
I''m really fluctuating lately now...I''m going from happy to depressed and pissed in a matter of minutes. I can''t figure out what''s wrong with me D:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Intellectual Elocutionist
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Aug 30, 2005 6:24 am
Teh Kea of d00m Argh, I''m ******** cutting again. For a while I stopped, and then I just...couldn''t take it any more. I used to dig my nails in my skin when nobody was watching, but eventually even that wasn''t enough. I''m trying not to scar, though...I made some pretty deep ones that scarred badly and my bf''s mom saw... she hates me because of my problems, but luckily for me my bf doesn''t care. I''m really fluctuating lately now...I''m going from happy to depressed and pissed in a matter of minutes. I can''t figure out what''s wrong with me D: Maybe it won't last long? Is something going on at the moment that's getting you stressed or something? Have you told your therapist (if you see one) that you're cutting yourself again? I keep skipping meals at the moment. When I feel bad eating certain foods seems like a repulsive idea, and those are the foods usually in my house.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 3:34 pm
Yeah...my therapist appointment is in a couple weeks...I don't know...I just don't know what happened. All of a sudden I got this thirst for blood and....ugh mad
|
|
|
|
|
|
Intellectual Elocutionist
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 2:47 pm
I remember the first time i injured myself. I was about five and I had just broken I think it was a piece of china, and my parents were fighting (this was before their divorce) and found me standing next to the broken china. My dad just went off on my mom saying that I was a screw up and she was a b***h for having me. I remember going outside and tripping myself so I fell down the stairs. When my parnets finally did divorce when I was in the 7th grade, they used me to get back at each other. I would go stay with my dad and he would tell me all the reasons why my mom was a b***h and then my mom would come to get me and they would yell and scream at me and each other. My first year in high school, my brother went to Iraq (he and I were really close) and my friend of 12 years decided I wasnt good enough anymore and started rumors about me and then cut me off from her communication. I came home everyday from school, went im my room and took out a razor. I was doing up to 30 a day, not all deep just enough to get a rush. No one but my best friend and my now boyfriend found out about it. To this day I do still think about it, but I do it sparingly, only when I get extremely stressed out.
I hate the kids now that just come up to you and are like "I cut wanna see." And the people that are like "it's just a phase you'll get over it." It just makes me want to slap them all in the face a few times with a hammer.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Oct 01, 2005 1:31 pm
Teh Kea of d00m Argh, I''m ******** cutting again. For a while I stopped, and then I just...couldn''t take it any more. I used to dig my nails in my skin when nobody was watching, but eventually even that wasn''t enough. I''m trying not to scar, though...I made some pretty deep ones that scarred badly and my bf''s mom saw... she hates me because of my problems, but luckily for me my bf doesn''t care. I''m really fluctuating lately now...I''m going from happy to depressed and pissed in a matter of minutes. I can''t figure out what''s wrong with me D: i kno how u feel....i used to be an extrememly addicted cutter....and like i hadnt cut for 2 monthes...which is one of the longest times ive gone without cutting....and then last night i cut twice....i only told my friends about one....one of the cuts i knew that i was doinit...that was the second cut...but the first cut i was blacked out for...so im like numb right now....i forced myself into this state cause all the emotions were to much to handle....so now im just kinda here...nothin else really....but its better for me to be like this than to be dead.....but wat im afraid is goin to happen which normally happens is that ill get too numb so ill cut to bring me back somewat....and im almost to that point...and when i cut when im numb...i cut alot....and im scared to do that cause my friend paul already knows i cut once....so on monday first thing in the mornin hes gonna check my arms and s**t....and if i cut more he'll see alot more scars....and then he'll question me....and ill be forced to tell....and then everyday he will check my arms....and do watever he can to help me stop...i guess thats wat i really like about him...hes so caring....hes just always cares about u and its like he'll never give up on u....even when u given up on urself...cause he knows that u need someone to help u through....hes like one of the best friends i could ever have...and i thank the higher beings for him every day....especially days like yesterday and today...and all the days ive felt like breakin down....but hes always helped me through...so yeah...g2g...later
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 11:55 am
broken mind Teh Kea of d00m Argh, I''m ******** cutting again. For a while I stopped, and then I just...couldn''t take it any more. I used to dig my nails in my skin when nobody was watching, but eventually even that wasn''t enough. I''m trying not to scar, though...I made some pretty deep ones that scarred badly and my bf''s mom saw... she hates me because of my problems, but luckily for me my bf doesn''t care. I''m really fluctuating lately now...I''m going from happy to depressed and pissed in a matter of minutes. I can''t figure out what''s wrong with me D: i kno how u feel....i used to be an extrememly addicted cutter....and like i hadnt cut for 2 monthes...which is one of the longest times ive gone without cutting....and then last night i cut twice....i only told my friends about one....one of the cuts i knew that i was doinit...that was the second cut...but the first cut i was blacked out for...so im like numb right now....i forced myself into this state cause all the emotions were to much to handle....so now im just kinda here...nothin else really....but its better for me to be like this than to be dead.....but wat im afraid is goin to happen which normally happens is that ill get too numb so ill cut to bring me back somewat....and im almost to that point...and when i cut when im numb...i cut alot....and im scared to do that cause my friend paul already knows i cut once....so on monday first thing in the mornin hes gonna check my arms and s**t....and if i cut more he'll see alot more scars....and then he'll question me....and ill be forced to tell....and then everyday he will check my arms....and do watever he can to help me stop...i guess thats wat i really like about him...hes so caring....hes just always cares about u and its like he'll never give up on u....even when u given up on urself...cause he knows that u need someone to help u through....hes like one of the best friends i could ever have...and i thank the higher beings for him every day....especially days like yesterday and today...and all the days ive felt like breakin down....but hes always helped me through...so yeah...g2g...later Perhaps you could try and take things out on something else (such as your pillow biggrin ). I have been SI for about 8 months (not that long) and in June, people found out, so I now cut in different places. I didn't want people to find out, but they are trying to help me out now. Each time you want to cut, try thinking of how disappointed Paul will be.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
