|
|
| self harm |
| i am a self harmer |
|
72% |
[ 31 ] |
| i am NOT a self harmer |
|
9% |
[ 4 ] |
| i do not self harm but i know others who do |
|
16% |
[ 7 ] |
| i don't know what self harm is |
|
2% |
[ 1 ] |
|
| Total Votes : 43 |
|
|
|
|
drowning_ophelia6 generated a random number between
6 and 666 ...
278!
|
|
|
 Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 7:41 am
i have posted previously how long i have been a cutter(as well as other forms of SI) and i havent done nething 4 a while now BUT...i think i have Seasonal Affective Disorder(SAD) cuz every year for as long as i can remember, from october/november until around april/may, i become so horribly down(depressed whatever u want to call it)that i feel like dying...its as if during this time of year, if something bad is going to happen to me, it will happen now...october was when my uncle started abusing me, november my great aunt(fav person ever) died when i was 4, i was raped when i was 22, had a near fatal car accident when i was 23, december i lost my favoritest job cuz i was accused of doing something i would never do, february had a miscarriage...the list goes on...i can feel the sadness already getting worse...to me, its like i can "feel" this overwhelming sense of loss hovering over me and i cant push it away or push thru it...the last time i hurt myself seriously was this time last year when i decided i should cover page after page in my journal in my blood until i nearly passed out and someone had to take me to the ER...i dont want to end up doing something stupid again but its not like i dont try to do other things...i write poetry so much during this time period, i read until it gets to a point that i feel like i cant read, i do arts/crafts, i call people, i see my therapist more often, i do yoga and meditation, play with my animals...whenever i am alone with my mind, i lose and my stupid mind beats me and i screw up and then i hate myself...im looking for any ideas or suggestions to try to not do it again this year...i would love to talk to others who experience this kind of seasonal thing too if ne1 else here does
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2005 5:33 am
drowning_ophelia6 i have posted previously how long i have been a cutter(as well as other forms of SI) and i havent done nething 4 a while now BUT...i think i have Seasonal Affective Disorder(SAD) cuz every year for as long as i can remember, from october/november until around april/may, i become so horribly down(depressed whatever u want to call it)that i feel like dying...its as if during this time of year, if something bad is going to happen to me, it will happen now...october was when my uncle started abusing me, november my great aunt(fav person ever) died when i was 4, i was raped when i was 22, had a near fatal car accident when i was 23, december i lost my favoritest job cuz i was accused of doing something i would never do, february had a miscarriage...the list goes on...i can feel the sadness already getting worse...to me, its like i can "feel" this overwhelming sense of loss hovering over me and i cant push it away or push thru it...the last time i hurt myself seriously was this time last year when i decided i should cover page after page in my journal in my blood until i nearly passed out and someone had to take me to the ER...i dont want to end up doing something stupid again but its not like i dont try to do other things...i write poetry so much during this time period, i read until it gets to a point that i feel like i cant read, i do arts/crafts, i call people, i see my therapist more often, i do yoga and meditation, play with my animals...whenever i am alone with my mind, i lose and my stupid mind beats me and i screw up and then i hate myself...im looking for any ideas or suggestions to try to not do it again this year...i would love to talk to others who experience this kind of seasonal thing too if ne1 else here does best poetry comes from this time.. i find playin repetative games a good way to stop thinking bout it all...like card games...things that get you concentrating on the game...even things like crosswords... also thats the period you guys have winter isnt it??? Usually seasonal changes can be due to lack of vitamin D...basically you need sunlight...you can get special light bulbs that have the right frequency to help you get the dose of light you need each day. increase your vitamin B intake as well and get rid of really high simple sugars and caffeine in your diet
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 7:18 am
sourapplekicker I had to hesitate and think before I voted. I voted as a self-harmer. (Doesn't anyone use the abbreviation SI around here? =/) I used to injure myself daily. Then it dwindled down. And now I only use SI before I attempt suicide. Like a foreplay? Does that make sense? Wow, I just realized that sounds really bad... Anyone else in my position? heart Kind of. I used to SI daily but I don't anymore. I now go in a cycle over a month or two. I'll cut myself and I'll be ok for a while, then I'll start wanting to on a daily basis. I'll resist for a bit and then cut myself. Then I'll be ok for a bit, probably regret doing so and then the cycle repeats. I'm going to try and ride it out this time but its getting harder and harder. For the last week I've been telling myself not to because I had to see my psychiatrist today and he always asks to see if I have. I'm seeing someone tomorrow so I'll see if I can get some advice. I've tried writing, drawing, talking myself round, trying to do positive things to make myself feel better but its just not the same. Think I'll go get myself some ice cubes. If anyone else has any advice that would be good.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2005 3:26 pm
yea i used to cut but i'm working on quitting. i haven't done it since october.. so yea i'm doing well but it's hard.
there are other kinds and i self harmed in a lot of different ways since i was a really small child but didn't actually cut till i was about 13. the worst thing i've done is banging my head against concrete, the results were terrible and lasted a long time.
but yea, haven't been doing any of that lately. i'm trying to learn to love myself and i realize that doing those things sorta goes against loving myself.
my therapist knows and isn't really shocked by it, but then again, SI is just one of many symptoms of my illness (Borderline personality disorder).
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
