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[Abrien Sliver]

Alright, It looks good, I'll add it to the list. d(^-^d)  

[false_fail]

^w^ X3P yay!

does tasting the color purple make more sense now? >.<;;

[edit] btw, you put my character under soldiers. he's a student ^^;;; heh heh... meep[/edit]  

[Abrien Sliver]

It has been relocated, sorry for the mix up.  

[false_fail]

thanks! ^w^  

[Kilarra]

Sorry guys, I'm skipping out of this rp for now as I don't really have time to contribute to it. I may pop back once my schedule clears up a little, but feel free to boot my characters out of their positions as I don't know when that'll be ^^;  

[Abrien Sliver]

I made a bunch of edits, like I changed his name to Valere. So someone re read it and approve it please?
[The Basics]

Your Gaianame:Abrien Sliver
Character's name: Valere (pronounced Val-yare, yare like hare but with a ya instead of an H)
Status: Dark Solider
Age: 16
Gender: Male
Race: Dark Angel
Appearance: Valere has soft gentle facial features, an affable smile, slender eyebrows, lavender almond shaped eyes and a His obsidian hair is styled in a medium length cut with one bang covering his right eye Valere's wings are large and Grandiose. He takes pride in their glossy black feathers, as a result he will usually walk around with out a shirt or anything so that his wings are not hindered by anything
Height: 6'1''
Strengths: Valere is extremly intelligent, He is good at tricking people because of his intelligence.
Weaknesses: Valere is easily goaded into dares, challenges and stupid stunts. Is obsessed with his wings and will drop everything if a feather moves out of place.
Weapon(s): Steel Claws Valere calls 'The silver blood talons'
Personality: Valere came from a family of nobleman, So he is used to luxury. He joined the Dark Army under request of a closely related family. He is very friendly and tends to be nice to anyone he comes across even if they don't return the feeling.
Bio: Valere is heir to the Silver line. He is the pride of his family, He was used to people saying that one day he'd be a great soldier. when he was small all he'd do was pet his wings and arrange the feathers, if He wasn't doing that you'd see him with his claws on hacking practice posts to pieces. Not very many people knew of his psychic abilities so He abused them oftenly to get what he wanted. A general in the Dark army happend to be his teacher, That general used to live close by but After Massacring his family the general left, it was only recently that Valere came back into contact with the man, Even as a person from the general's past Valere doesn't even know much about his history. Valere is the only person Abrien even half way trusts, so for that reason Abrien wants Valere in his army just so he can have someone by his side if he may need it, Abrien is the one who enlisted Valere, the boy had no say in the matter.
Extra: Valere uses his ability 'scared of the dark' only when angered by someone...

[The Stats]

Type of fighter: [Close]
Kills: 0
Wins/Losses/Tied: 0/0/0
Unique/Acquired Special abilities: Mind read-A power used to allow the user to be able to read the mind of a person to know what people think of her or the situation.
Mind control-An attack that can take over the opponents body and motions, by controlling the mind. Very dangerous to use because it leaves the users body empty.
Scared of the Dark-A killing attack, in essence taking the shadows and all they represent and cocooning the victim in them. They see their own fears, the fears of others, and are essentially scared to death. Light-Medium amount of energy is consumed.


Weapon(s):
Steel plated claws- there are five blades for the claws. The claws are very long at 2.5' per blade, both of the claws have the Silver family crest on the tops of the hand grips.

Updated Extra: Abrien and Valere have no blood relation, they're friends.
 

[Celestial Lullaby]

Abrien Sliver

I made a bunch of edits, like I changed his name to Valere. So someone re read it and approve it please?
[The Basics]

Your Gaianame:Abrien Sliver
Character's name: Valere (pronounced Val-yare, yare like hare but with a ya)
Status: Dark Solider
Age: 16
Gender: Male
Race: Dark Angel
Appearance: Valere has soft gentle facial features, an affable smile, slender eyebrows, lavender almond shaped eyes and his obsidian hair is styled in a medium length cut with one bang covering his right eye. Valere's wings are large and Grandiose. He takes pride in their glossy black feathers, and as a result he will usually walk around without a shirt so that his wings are not hindered by anything.
Height: 6'1''
Strengths: Valere is extremly intelligent, He is good at tricking people because of his intelligence. You already stated his intelligence, it is not needed a second time. What do you mean by tricking? (Lying/cheating them out of something/Double crossing/Making physical traps/ talking them into a corner?)
Weaknesses: Valere is easily goaded into dares, challenges and stupid stunts. He is obsessed with his wings and will drop everything if a feather moves out of place just to fix it.
Weapon(s): Steel Claws Valere calls 'The silver blood talons'
Personality: Valere came from a family of nobleman so he is used to luxury. Not a personality trait, it is good to explain why he is (spoiled/lazy/demanding/pretentious etc.) but if a trait is not included, this has nothing to do with personality.He joined the Dark Army under request of a closely related family member. Again, not a personality trait, it could be associated with compliant/loyal/eager to please, but is not, in itself, a way to describe himHe is very friendly and tends to be nice to anyone he comes across even, if they don't return the feeling. All you have really is that he is friendly, fix the other two issues and maybe a couple more-- how does he interact with close friends? What is he like during a battle? Sense of humor? Perspective of he world?
Bio: Valere is heir to the Silver line, the pride of his family. He was used to people saying that one day he'd be a great soldier. When he was small all he'd do was pet his wings and arrange the feathers. If He wasn't doing that, you'd see him with his claws, hacking practice posts to pieces. Not very many people knew of his psychic abilities so he abused them, most of the time to get what he wanted. A general in the Dark army happened to be his teacher. Before or during his time as a general? As it would be unlikely he'd do them both at the same time. Generals do not have time to teach young'ings how to fight. That general used to live close by, but After massacring his family the general left. It was only recently that Valere came back into contact with the man. Even as a person from the general's past, Valere doesn't even know much about his history. Valere is the only person AbrienWho's Abrien? State it clearly. even half way trusts,cliched, can you write it differently? Or just put one of the very few people he even half-way trusts as I'm sure he'll meet people in the RP and for that reason Abrien wants Valere in his army, just so he can have someone trustworthy by his side in case he needs it. Abrien is the one who enlisted Valere, the boy had no say in the matter. Earlier you mentioned he was asked to by a closely related family member. Contradiction! Choose, and change it.
Extra: Valere uses his ability 'scared of the dark' only when angered by someone...

[The Stats]

Type of fighter: [Close]
Kills: 0
Wins/Losses/Tied: 0/0/0
Unique/Acquired Special abilities: Mind read- A power used to allow the user to be able to read the mind of a person or to know what people think of them or the situation.
Mind control- An attack that can take over the opponent's body and motions, by controlling the mind. Very dangerous to use because it leaves the user's body empty.
Scared of the Dark- A killing attack, in essence taking the shadows and all they represent and cocooning the victim in them. They see their own fears, the fears of others, and are essentially scared to death.


Weapon(s):
Steel plated claws- there are five blades for the claws. The claws are very long at 2.5' per blade, both of the claws have the Silver family crest on the tops of the hand grips.

Updated Extra: Abrien and Valere have no blood relation, they're friends. Doesn't need to be mentioned, it's clear in the bio.

I edited in black so I wouldn't constantly have to change the color back, not to mention your original one didn't work. Use this code after the '=' sign [#992244] not including the square brackets to make the color

Edits/Suggestions have been made in blue.
Besides Grammar, which has just been edited and left in the same color to make it easier to edit later.

Overall, very close to being acceptable, I look forward to RPing with him.