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 Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 3:17 pm
ok....so im still strugglin with depression and major anxiety....and my moms tryin me on some vitamins that do the same as the anti-depressents....and im happier and all....but i feel like the stuff is just helpin me hide wat i feel.....then i get these sudden out bursts of emotion.....and its way to much to handle.....and its not like i can tell my mom....not like she'll do anything......ive been to the hospital 3 times already.....no help there.....wat do i do.....?......and the only ppl that help me control my self r my friends......and my mom hates when i spend too much time with them......and she and my counselor were tellin me y i loose friends so much is cause i depend on them too much.....they dont understand.....the friends i have now ive told the most.....before i hardly told anythin to.....and gah! everything is just so weird in my life right now.....i mean i feel like im only maskin wat i feel even to myself......and then i burst and i did that last night online talkin to my friend and i think i made her cry.....i felt so freakin bad......and then today she acted like nothin happened.....i cant live with myself right now.....i mean i love bein happy and all but i hate the outbursts.....ive almost relapced into cuttin again.....and i tried smokin but wouldnt do more than 3 puffs......i just couldnt.....and im just fallin apart on the inside.....while i seem happy on the outside.....i dont kno wat to do anymore......
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Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 3:45 pm
broken mind,
i know perfectly what your going through maybe i haven't expeirenced everything you have but i will tell you this i was in that depression mode and i know how hard it is to be in that situation ... listen lemme tell you something... i used to cut too and i learned that that isn't the way to go there are better things than that. your only hurting your self and its only helping you deal with the pain for now ... later on it comes back same with drugs
one:
one thing you can do is try and keep your self busy write out your feelings in a journal, start collecting some thing, just get creative and keep yourself busy that will help you control your out burst a lil because if you have energy in diffrent things you have less energy going for your out bursts
two:
its not wrong to depend on friends i think its really a good thing that you can have a relationship with your friends and they won't judge you. but i also beilive that some people can't handle other peoples problems because there allready worring about them selves... and so you have to know which friends you can tell certain things too.. a friend who can support you all the way through and that you know that they will be there when you need them... but also make sure you are able to be compatible with them so if anything happens between yall ... yall are still friends.
three:
as for the vitamins thats better than medication , if you ever think to start medications read carefully the side effects because i know that some have side affects that are worse than what you have..
four:
well about being happy all the time its not bad to do that but if your masking your emotions and you are only showing the ppl what they want to see then you not helping your situation because i think that the out bursts are everything you have put in the box of emotions hidden in your mind. and once it over flows... well there you have it an out burts ... so its better to just show them the way you really are it helps you and it helps the ppl around you know who you really are.
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Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 4:52 pm
Don't give up on the hospital just because it hasn't fixed everything. Having mental-illness is hard because it's something we have to work on our entire lives. It's a struggle to manage the illness, and it doesn't just get fixed by going to the hospital, even though the hospital is important for stabilizing us when things get bad and getting us on the right track.
Stay strong and don't cut! Work on getting more outlets for your emotions, and don't be afraid to talk to school counsellors or any other aduts that can refer you to resources. Like tarot_disaster said, keeping a journal is a great outlet. As is art and sports or other forms of physical exercise. Don't worry about having an outburst with your friend. That's what's great about friends, and I'm sure you'd overlook an outburst from her too.
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