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I doubt anyones on at this time of night. I need immediate talking to, a good calming down. But I rally doubt anyone's around. It's 5:37AM, Saturday. I haven't slept since 9AM, Friday, which isn't much really, but add to that psychosis, all-around bad thoughts, and an inhuman amount of caffiene that won't let me sleep this goddamned cycle off, I really don't know what I may do.

I'm at an internet cafe with a friend, so I'm not alone, which is good. But the monitor im using keeps moving. You know how it looks when you look through blue & red 3D glasses?Dark colors, especially black, lke a black wall, will look like that. For a split second everything that surrounds me looks like that. It always startles me and I hate it. The walls are warping, and the monitor likes to move slowly, so slowly that I doubt that it's moving untill I really look at it, then, yep, it's moving dammit. So I put my hand on the keyboard whcih is connected to the monitor and it's still moving. Right now the monitor is moving forwards, like it wants to get me. I'm fidgety, scared and strung out. It's probably pretty obvious at this point that I havent re-read this post, or even put any pre-thought into it, so I apoligize for any typos or spelling errors. I'm inbetween manic and depressed, I think, Only most of the thoughtd rnning through my head aren't good. I can't stay still. I want to run, only I don't know where. I can't read a post or a thread without either having my mind run off, and I have to reread it, or it confuses me, so again, I have to re-read it. I'm really, really on the edge, any little triggering..anything will set me off.

I'm sory for the long post, but I don't know what to do. I'm glad I have nothing around me that can hurt me. I'm feeling dangerous.

Help.

I'm so sorry you've been having such a rough time. I just sent you a PM...I'm so sorry that you've been having a difficult time. I would give you my number, but my parents would kill me if you (or anyone else they didn't know) were to call my cell. *sigh* I'm sorry - I'm normally up late like that, but last night I just crashed (at 9 p.m. to be exact...).

I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say.

This will pass. I promise you it will. The hallucinations aren't real. They aren't...it's just your brain sending you odd messages...(or at least that's what my therapist says...). Best of luck to you, m'dear.

<33

It all keeps coming back. Its not as bad as it was before but it will be.

I'm getting drunk tonight, I hope that at least helps somewhat.

Alcohol actually can hurt for people with depression. It damages the neuroreceptor sites. I don't know about how it works with other mental illnesses.

If you take depakote than you should know that it is a bad idea. Many othe meds are the same.

I don't know if there's anything I can really say to help... The visions usually pass after a while. Sometimes, you see gory stuff, sometimes, you see nice happy stuff. But just remember its not real.