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 Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 12:46 pm
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Ah, yes. Irish humour. Let's all take turns sharing the best we can come up with. I'll start.
Brenda O’Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.
“Brenda, may I come in?” he asks. “I’ve somethin’ rather important to tell ye.”
“Of course you can come in. You’re always welcome here, Tim.” says Brenda. “But where’s me husband, Shamus?”
“That’s what I’m here to be tellin’ ye, Lass. There’s been a simply tragic accident down at the Guinness brewery…”
“Oh, God no!” cries Brenda. “Please don’t tell me…”
“I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is gone. I’m dreadfully sorry, Lass.”
Finally, Brenda looks up at Tim and tearfully asks, “Please tell me how it happened, Tim.”
“Aw, Lass, it was terrible. Poor Shamus fell into a vat o’ Guinness Stout and drowned.”
“Oh my Sweet Jesus! But please tell me true, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?”
“Well, no, Lass… not exactly.”
“No?”
“No, fact is, he got out three times to visit the men’s room.”
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Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 12:57 pm
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Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 1:02 pm
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Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 1:23 pm
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[No, I didn't type it. It was copy and pasted. I am a pretty good RPer, though. I'll see what you have available.]
The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Patrick and Shamus.
The three men had always done everything together.
Patrick arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet,
Patrick said, 'Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over.'
The mortician rolled him over and Patrick said, 'Nope, ain't Stanley.'
The mortician thought this was rather strange.
So he brought Shamus in to confirm the identity of the body.
Shamus looked at the body and said, 'Yup, he's pretty well burnt up.
Roll him over.'
The mortician rolled him over and Shamus said, 'No, it ain't Stanley'
The mortician asked, 'How can you tell?'
Shamus said, 'Well, Stanley had two assholes.'
'What? He had two assholes?' asked the mortician.
'Yup, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say:
'There's Stanley with them two assholes.'
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Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 1:43 pm
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Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 1:57 pm
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Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 1:59 pm
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A_n_n_a Jabelgasm A_n_n_a [Lol, I'm pretty pathetic in remembering good ones; sorry. >.< By the way, did you type up your first one? Do you do role plays? We could use some writing like that up in our role play forum! ^^] You don't really have anything that interests me. Give me a minute and I'll have something set up. [Oh! That's perfect! Thank you! I'll gather some people!! lol] |
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Posted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 7:01 am
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