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 Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 4:39 pm
“The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.”
Welcome.
This is my official quest thread for my character Nataya.
Take a look around I`m sure you`ll find something of interest!
And if you`ve got time, stick around for a crit.
Depending on how this goes, I will also be entering in flatesales.
This is just a place for my idea.
All images found here are by no means mine.
All credits are to their respective artists.
T.o.C :
Intro | General Profile | Personality | History | Family | Q&A | Reserved Username | Tnau
Payment | Gold
Agreement | Certainly
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Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 4:40 pm
"For to win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill.." ❀ General Profile ❀
Name | Nataya Rattanakosin
Origin | Thai
Meaning | Eternal ; Place of Olive Plums
Gender | Female ❀Loyalty ❀
Allegiance | Nataya's loyalties lie with the emperor.
Path | Not wanting to be a stay at home mother like all the females of her family, Nataya takes pride in following the path of a warrior.
Weapon | Nataya carries a large amount of acupuncture needles; two types to be precise. By having studied all the important points on the body, and knowing that muscles can be locked with the acupuncture needles, the Lunarian has been able to use this in a unique fighting style she's developed. The second needles have a flat surface, and never used for acupuncture, rather they will be for her seal forming magic.
Magic Style | Nataya uses seal forming magic, with her knowledge of important points on the body from acupuncture, she is able to cause quite the pain with her needles. She uses the needles she's drawn different seals on for her magic. ❀Appearance ❀Hair Color | Dark Plum
Hair Style | Nataya's hair is long with a slight curl to it and reaches just past her hip. It's always loose and her bangs are always covering one of her eyes. [it will eventually get shorter as she advances.]
Eye Color | Olive
Skin Tone | A rich tan. [Like Mayu and Asura]
Body Type | Nataya was built to be feminine, however traces of her physical abilities can be seen lingering here and there. Standing at an average 5’8”, the Lunarian weighs an incredible 135 lbs. She has well rounded hips that are typical of the females in her family, her chest isn’t overly large nor too small, and she has the sharp chiselled features that the men have( this is sort of what I mean by her features).
Distinguishing Features | One the inside of her left wrist she has the word peace tattooed in Thai, and in the inside of her right wrist is tattooed fight in Thai.
Clothing Style | I am currently going to leave this blank for artist freedom. I'd truthfully be happy with anything the artists comes up with. Though I do request a dress for her initial stage as she wouldn't have any knowledge in fighting, and her mother tries to keep her very feminine.
- Dress. I really, really like how this dress was designed. Just the dress though, not the thing covering her arms.
Accessories | The only visible accessory that Nataya carries on herself is a wrist band on her left hand, which carries all of her acupuncture needles and keeps them well hidden. Though if the artist wants her to have something in her hair or just random accessories, go for it.
T.o.C :
Intro | General Profile | Personality | History | Family | Q&A | Reserved
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Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 4:41 pm
“You must not fight too often with one enemy, or you will teach him all your art of war.”
❀Personality ❀
Responsible | Nataya feels a strong sense of duty, she takes her responsibilities very seriously, and can be counted on to follow through. For this reason, people naturally tend to rely on her. Nataya's internal sense of duty often lends her a serious air and the motivation to follow through on tasks, she's organized in her approach, and can generally succeed at any task which she undertakes. She tends to believe in laws and traditions, and expects the same from others. She isn't comfortable with breaking laws or going against them. Nataya has been told that she is overly obsessed with structure and quite insistent on doing everything "by the book", she may have difficulty understanding a theory or idea which is different from her own perspective.
Jealous | Nataya is known for her jealousy and possessiveness, this is true about her belongings and particularly her friends, whom she’d fight for if it came down to it. The Lunarian believes that if she herself is loyal to her peers, then her peers should be loyal to her, and only to her. Because of her mothers noble upbringing, Nataya has always received what she’s asked for, she will become jealous of anyone who has something she wants. Even someone who show’s greater skill, beauty or even something petty as prettier clothing will result in instant jealousy.
Calm | TBA
Sly | TBA
Competitive | TBA
❀Hobbies ❀
Acupuncture | Not only is it a family tradition, but it is also Nataya’s weapon of choice. If she isn’t found fighting, the Lunarian will be practising her acupuncture. She finds it both appeasing to the mind for her, like a type of meditation, and it also helps someone in need. Nataya has been learning every single critical point on the body, to be able to successfully harm or kill someone with the needles. One should be aware that she always carries the needles with herself, visible or not.
Dancing | Forced upon her every single day of her childhood, Nataya could only grow fond of her dancing over the years. It is also the only hobby that pleases and keeps her mother quiet, in Kalaya's eyes she needs to be more feminine. Dancing has allowed Nataya to be able to move with gracefulness which has helped her fighting style, it is another quiet activity that she believes she can meditate upon.
Takraw | A game that the Lunarian found quite amusing to play with the boys when she was younger; this is her daily dose of exercise. She is often found playing with the children in the street, as she finds their moves are often unpredictable. She’s found this game has also helps with her fighting style, however not as much as her dancing. (See F.A.Q. for more info)
T.o.C :
Intro | General Profile | Personality | History | Family | Q&A | Reserved
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Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 4:42 pm
Lost causes are the only ones worth fighting for.
The Rattanakosin family has always been one of the only families to have done acupuncture for the emperor and the nobles. In fact, Nataya’s father Sanouk married her mother Kalaya, who was a noble woman with a distant relation to the emperor. With the promise of giving birth to a daughter to continue Kalaya’s own family traditions, the two quickly conceived their first child after being married. They were terribly disappointed three times as Kalaya gave birth to three rowdy boys that wanted nothing to do with family traditions, and would leave to take up arms. It wasn’t until 7 years after the birth of their first child Aroon, that they were gifted with a daughter. Nataya’s mother vowed to make sure that their daughter would never follow the footpaths of the boys, years later Kalaya admitted she’d failed at the task.
When she came of age, Nataya took up dance while at home she watched her father dealt with the acupuncture patients. It was then that the little girl grew fond of her father’s work, and often would return home to sit by her father and learn his ways. While she disliked dancing, she was rather good at it, finding that the movements were easy. Her other hobby such as Takraw was discovered while playing with the youngest brother Mongkut, whom wasn’t a fighter, but certainly was amazing at the game. Nataya was indirectly introduced to fighting because of her older brother Aroon, just as he was starting his training he took Nataya to one of his lessons. The little girl was hooked, and it was from that day on that after each and every single one of his lessons, Nataya would pester Aroon to teach her defense and evading techniques.
Her mother wasn’t too pleased with the way her daughter was turning out to be, she often took her daughter away to visit her side of the family to try and teach her the respectable way a woman should act. If only to please her mother, Nataya agreed to visit the family once a month, she tried to pick up their noble ways quickly so her mother would leave her alone. And it worked, when Nataya would return home and act as she should, her mother allowed her to do as she pleased which consisted of practicing both her evading fighting style and acupuncture. Thinking that her daughter could become a priest, Nataya was enrolled at the academy around the age of thirteen. However, behind her mother’s back, Nataya asked her father to register her for the fighter class. She has no desire to join as a priest, and hopes her mother doesn’t find out.
T.o.C :
Intro | General Profile | Personality | History | Family | Q&A | Reserved
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Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 4:43 pm
The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.
Kalaya Rattanakosin | Kalaya rules the house with an iron fist because of her noble background. She is the one who pushed Nataya to turn to dancing, something the Lunarian both hates and loves her for. Nataya just wished the woman would give her more freedom on her life, she doesn't want to follow in her mothers footsteps.
Sanouk Rattanakosin | The father of the house, Sanouk is happy with whatever path his daughter choses, though he’s secreatly making sure Nataya keeps up with her acupuncture behind his wife’s back. If it wasn't for him, Nataya would never found her ability with acupuncture. She loves her father to death, and couldn't thank him more about helping her become a warrior.
Aroon Rattanakosin | Nataya loves her older brother to death, he was the one to first teach her about how to defend herself. She gets along extremely well with him, more so then her other brothers.
Mongkut Rattanakosin | He taught Nataya how to play Takraw when they were younger, and they still play together with the younger children. Nataya like this brother too, though not as much as Aroon.
Kiet Rattanakosin | The last brother and probably the only one Nataya doesn’t like. Kiet follows his mother around as if he were a shadow, he is the family snitch. Kiet went to the academy to become a priest, Nataya thinks it’s to keep an eye on her and report to their mother. The Lunarian couldn't hate him more for being so close to her mother.
T.o.C :
Intro | General Profile | Personality | History | Family | Q&A | Reserved
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Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 4:45 pm
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. Q | Why does Nataya serve the emperor ?
A | Well to begin with, her family has been doing acupuncture for the emperor and the nobles for more generations then you can count on your fingers. Her father holds great respect for the emperor, and I suppose it's something he passed on to all of his children. However, I'm sure Kalaya would end up not supporting the emperor at all, possible divorce plot twist? Maybe :3 There is also the fact that Nataya holds great respect for the law, she was taught that the emperor is the supreme law, why anyone would go against him she doesn't understand.
Q | What does she offer to the Legion?
A | Well, her acupuncture of course! XD But in all seriousness, she offers her unique fighting abilities. Not only could she be sent into enemy territory and look weaponless, but she's also quite apt in evading attacks. She could be the type of shadowy character that goes around doing all the behind the scene killing, she able to move silently if she wishes it. Or just an undercover agent doing some top secret mission type thing, I think just those abilities would amke her a great asset.
Q | Why the needles?!
A | Granted she'll probably have no defense or ways of fighting an opponent that is at a distance, I thought that the needles would be something neat since I didn't want her with a typical sword or spear. Not only can they be kept hidden easily, but who would really think of needles as dangerous? It's the perfect weaponry!
Q | What's Takraw?
A | It's a sport played all over Asia, it's a mix between volleyball and soccor. wiki. Youtube
Q | What's Acupuncture?
A | Well, it's a little hard to explain xD But here's the wiki.
T.o.C :
Intro | General Profile | Personality | History | Family | Q&A | Reserved
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Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 4:52 pm
Reserved!
For what?
I dunno! XD
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Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 4:53 pm
Hope I did this right o.e
Be gentle. Please? <3
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Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 5:57 pm
First off, I seriously love her name and I love that you chose Thai for her place of origin/nationality. It makes her unique and more interesting, and I can see that you've kept everything organized well and easy to read, which I appreciate.
Her weapon is very interesting; I would focus more on her usage of those "acupuncture" needles, mainly because I believe we already have a Muay Thai fighter (I could be wrong though), and I find the use of needles fascinating.
Her clothes seem almost too modern, so try and stay away from accidentally going too "modern day" with shorts and tank tops. I CAN say that if you leave it like that, it will probably be Lunarian-ified to match with the culture, though. C:
Her personality is pretty basic, though I'm not sure "complicated" is the right word for that trait. Perhaps "Misunderstood" or "socially awkward" would fit better, since you're saying that she's "falsely perceived." Also, while she seems like a strong character both physically and mentally, I'd like to see some more flaws with her, to round out her character more. Nothing too drastic, just some things that might make her a little more human. I do like the "complicated" trait, though; I think it fits her well (though the name is off, like I said).
Her hobbies are interesting, though I'd like to know what "Takraw" is? It sounds very unique and interesting. C:
Her history is very nice, interesting, and simple without being boring to read. The same with her family. I love her connections and reasoning behind the Legion - AND OHAY there's what Takraw is LOL. Okay, that's better. =)
Overall, a very nice job. You just need a bit more tweaking, and a few more critiques, and I'll think you'll do very well. =)
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Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 6:16 pm
Haha thank you!
I've been searching for her name for like...
A week now? XD
Yea, I think I saw another Thai Lunarian, but I'm not sure.
Well, my English teacher was explaining essay structure to us today.
said to keep everything simple and neat so XD
You'd think college students would know about essay structure lol.
Do we :O ?
I did not see that!
If there's another one, I'll gladly just drop the Muay Thai and keep her needles. They were the main idea.
I had so much trouble with her clothing. I'm thinking of maybe just leaving it blank or something xD
Flaws, check! I thought about it, I'll probably fix that because I found she lacked a few myself. And for that complicated, I'll probably put misunderstood.
I thought her history was a little on the boring side actually haha thank you! XD
Yup! Takraw is awesome, did you look at that video? Friggin amazing xD
Thank you for the crit!
It's highly appreciated.
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Posted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 6:07 pm
Profile updated.
Took out Muay Thai because I found a Lunarian that did do Muay Thai. I think I'm not sure, but she dresses like a Muay Thai fighter so!
Clothing section deleted, I'm leaving it open to artistic freedom, as well as her accessories.
Shifted her personality. Add stubborn, grudging and vengeful :3
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Posted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 1:37 am
First I’d like to say that I really like that she’s Thai. Thai people are badass. That is all. xD
Loyalty
I’m not sure what you mean by hitting people with hand gestures? Does she hit them with the magic from the seals or with her hands themselves? Just a point to clarify.
Personality & Hobbies
Generally we only see five traits per quest—this rule isn’t set in stone, but I feel like you could merge one of the traits with another, for example quiet with observant. That having been said, the personality you have down for Nataya is very consistent, and very complete in the sense that she’s pretty absolute. I’d like to see you give her a personality quirk—are there ever any exceptions to her responsible trait, for example? Does she ever indulge in something for selfish reasons? What makes her angry? Break up the uniformity of her character a little bit with a couple of flaws.
I’m not actually saying that Nataya doesn’t have any flaws at all—I see that you try to incorporate them in every trait. However, I speak from experience with my own quest when I say that this isn’t the best plan of action. You should probably set aside a personality trait or two to just talk about her flaws (particularly one big flaw instead of a few small ones), so that it’s obvious she has them. The way you speak about them in the personality traits, they sound minimal, even positive, and it’s easy to accidentally skim over them if you’re critiquing/marking with tired eyes. :]
Finally, I’ve seen a very similar rendition of ‘stubborn’ in some of the accepted/completed quests, down to the same phrases about “forgive and forget,” “set of standards,” “express herself through actions” and “still think that she is right even if she is wrong.” I’m not sure if you’re still okay with having a trait so similar to an existing Legionnaire, so this is just a headsup. It would be great if you could come up with something that no one else has so far, or is not so similar to what someone else already has. This is admittedly a little difficult since we have so many quests already, but variation really does a long way toward a good mark. At the very least, it doesn't bore your critiquer/marker, and makes the character stand out.
I like her hobbies, and find no reason for complaint or critique with them! <3
History
You’ve done an excellent job with Nataya’s history. It flows well, is consistent, and I especially like how you end it in the present time, with Nataya in the Academy. It’s definitely something that can be added to as she grows.
Family
Your family is good—not boring, but not overdramatic or unrealistic either. However, any information you have about them should serve to illuminate Nataya since this quest is about her, after all! It would be prudent add a sentence or two to each family member detailing how they affect Nataya and/or what she thinks of them.
Overall, I think you’ve done a great job. Nataya’s got an excellent foundation so far; you only need to tweak a few things before she’s ready for marking. :>
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Posted: Sun Apr 18, 2010 12:32 am
Thanks Kura!
And yes I totally agree that Thai people are badass XD
Her fighting style was explained better (I hope) more of a description now I supose!
Her personality has been re-vamped. So probably gonna need a new crit on that.
Family wise, took out the unnessessary stuff :3
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