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 Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2005 10:13 pm
Basically my question is; does anyone know how to bring this stuff up? Like, sitting talking to someone, how do you say "I'm mentally ill"?
My situation is that I have known this boy from birth, our moms are best friends, and he's always been good to me but I've always been a outsider because of my problems and avoided everyone but lately my medications have really been on the right track, my head is getting clearer and I'm really... lucid and when I do have breakdowns I recover quickly... and it kind of dawned on me how very much this guy has always done for me. I mean, really, I mention I liked Final Fantasy 7 so he spends hours putting together a DVD of the fansub of the new Final Fantasy 7 movie complete with making a nice cover for it before the movie was even released in North America... stuff like that all the time. And it occured to me that he did all this stuff for me when he surely must have known I wasn't okay. I know he saw me when my face was all cut up, at least, and he might have been told that I attempted suicide or at least seen the giant scar running down my arm. But... I know he doesn't really know much at all, really... and I want to get close to him, but... I feel like I need to talk about it, I need to say that I have problems that might not ever entirely go away. I've never said a word about anything like that, or my pills, or that I see a psych team. We're still a little awkward talking to each other in general. But I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to bring that up, and I don't know what to say without sounding all gloom-and-doomy. So, I was just wondering if anyone has ever had to fill someone in on their illness, and is there any good way to do it?
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Posted: Fri Dec 30, 2005 4:18 am
Has he ever said anything to you about your behavior? That could be a good lead in. One of my roommates from last year has pretty severe anxiety as well as depression. Obviously, I knew something was wrong because I was living with him and I witnessed it when he locked himself in his room and threw things around : / . When he decided to finally get help he told me about it directly, because the issue was a fairly open one between us. It kind of had to be. I don't know how close you two are, but if this guy has been around you for that long, like you said, he can probably tell there is something wrong. I'd say that if he asks, be as honest as you can with him. And if not, try to find a lead in to broach the subject. Either way, it's likely not going to be an enormous shock, since he already knows you fairly well. Additionally: I recently met this guy who apparently suffered from manic depressive/bipolar symptoms several years ago. According to him he's "better now," I don't know how true or not that is since I don't know him too well. He brought it up rather casually, during the first time we met, actually. We were talking about school, and he said something like "When I was in Jr. High I missed weeks at a time, mostly because I didn't care, that was when I was manically depressed." He didn't really explain further, and since I hardly know him I didn't want to press the issue. A girl I work with is also mentally ill, though her diagnosis seems to be debateable. She's very open about it in general, often talking about her "shrink." What I'm trying to say is there are different ways of addressing it, you should just decide what works for you.
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Intellectual Elocutionist
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Posted: Sun Jan 01, 2006 2:20 pm
If you want to find a way to bring it up, there's always the "could I have a moment?" kind of lines, and just say something casual, like "you've probably noticed that I sometimes have problems...." or, I dunno, I totally bad at writing lines...but you know, if he knows you that well, I'm sure he's be happy to help you work it out, or listen to you, or whatever....you're lucky to have a friend like that, and it's always good to communicate with those close to you ^^
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Posted: Sun Jan 01, 2006 3:20 pm
I'm the kind of person who likes to write letters to people when I'm not sure how to phrase things, or if I feel shy. It's a good way to check over your wording, and make sure it's not all doom-and-gloom before you give it to him.
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Posted: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:20 pm
hun theres always a way to get talking to people but really i think that the way to even approach this would be to begin with just a hello have a nice conversation... you know start from the begining... im sure he will listen intently... and i bet hes there to support you... so i don't think it matters to him how you tell him or when or why just that he is there for you which is an awsome thing to have ... so i guess what im saying is start from the begining... start talking to him more... then when you feel its time to tell your story...then go ahead
*black-nine*
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Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2006 11:20 am
Thanks for your support, all. Really, it doesn't seem so hard now to see it broken down a bit. I think I have some ideas now... I'm working out what I need to say and then breaking it down into pieces so I can say it a bit at a time.
I wish it wasn't this tough, though. I started having more problems and I started thinking "Oh no, this is never going to go away... I need to give up on everything." but this morning I decided that would be really unfair to myself, and he might miss me too and be confused if I never spoke to him again, so I think that's a bit of progress right there. I'm a little proud. I've never been very good at standing up for myself to... um... myself.
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Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2006 8:55 pm
It sounds like this guy rather likes you.
I've found the best way of bringing it up is just letting it happen. Talk with him sometime, and if thoughts and feelings and so on come into it, tell him the truth.
From my experience, if someone really is fond of you, hearing that your mind is on a slightly different track from the norm is not going to disturb him. Or her, as the case may be.
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Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2006 10:13 pm
LaLaLogic I started having more problems and I started thinking "Oh no, this is never going to go away... I need to give up on everything." All I can say is, I know exactly how you feel! Hang in there!
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