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 Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 9:15 pm
[Zeta Eleven is entering the cornfield! Or at least.. he will. Just give him a moment. Stop rushing him.]
Zeta Eleven was caught off-guard by the sudden buzzing at his hip. He had rather conveniently forgotten all about his cell phone, seeing as how the last time it went off a giant demon horse crash landed on the beach and set him on fire. So, yeah, once he realized he wasn’t going to get any picture messages of his friends’ cats, he had put it out of his mind.
After flipping open the device, he breathed a sigh of relief… which he immediately regretted. Day two? That just meant there were still five more days left, and that many, many more people were about to die. Besides, when had a new day even started? Had he really been walking that long? He was losing track of time, because fog o’ clock wasn’t exactly indicative of where the sun was at any given point.
Eleven continued traveling along the edge of the corn stalks, not exactly all that prepared to dive right in. He had come here in search of new allies, but he half-expected some terrible nightmare monster to leap out at him the moment he stepped inside the field. After a few minutes of hesitation, he finally stopped and turned, facing the towering stalks and trying to brace himself by thinking about the things that couldn’t possibly come out of that corn.
Velociraptors. Tentacle monsters. Nazis. Please let these things be distinct impossibilities.
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Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 9:31 pm
<< Eta IV entering the Cornfield -- with hope in her heart and a wistful smile on her face. That kind of thing. >> Eta "Hermione" IV knew exactly what she was looking for in the cornfields. It looked a lot like this: With this guy living in it: And one day they were totally going to do this: Lost in her mental reverie, Hermione didn't even notice the stranger standing at the edge of the cornfield. She walked right into him.
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Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 9:35 pm
Harry stopped, because that gas masked figure off in the distance? That voluptuous, curvaceous, lumpy sack of grey and orange? That tubey, goggley, backpacky bundle of love? That was the most beautiful individual Harry Potter had ever seen, and suddenly Harry understood why she could not remember Ron Weasley's incredibly average-looking sister's name. Because before her, stood the most beautiful creature ever known to man.  “Hermione!” Harry said, grabbing his friend's arm and pulling her back, “Don't you know who that is? Hermione,” Harry stared in awe, “It's her.”
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Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 9:47 pm
The Lochness Monster. Zeus. Franklin Roosevelt. Wizards.
Ow!
The hell?
Zeta Eleven's head snapped towards the person who had run into him, taking a quick step back. He looked around, making sure the girl and/or very effeminately shaped male was walking in the same wide open space he was currently standing in.
He had been set on fire. He had been forced to shoot an innocent person. He had been walking through dank, depressing fog for the past however many hours. And now, this person did not have the common courtesy to even bother to look where (s)he was going.
"What the hell do you-!" he started to snap, teeth grinding. He stopped as soon as he spotted the second soldier, tensing up, hand immediately going for his backpack. He flailed and fumbled in search for the zipper, fully expecting the two to murder him where he stood, but stopped immediately after his sex was questioned.
"Wait, what?"
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Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 9:57 pm
Hermione straightened abruptly, pushing off of the person in orange. "Excuse me," she said, shooting him what she was absolutely certain was one of her trademark glares. She saw the stranger start to reach for his backpack. No! Was he a Snatcher?
Her hand flashed to her side. She brandished her wand at him. At some point, it had stopped being a twig and had become an ear of corn. She didn't seem to notice the change. "Peterificus Todalis!" she shouted, waving the ear around.
Unfortunately, Harry was being a total t**t. He pulled her arm back before the spell could be properly cast. She frowned deeply. "It's who?" As far as she could tell, this was just some random guy in orange. What was Harry seeing that she didn't?
One eyebrow crept upward. "Oh, it's clearly... Crookshanks! My beloved kitty." Both arms extended outward, and she embraced Zeta XI warmly.
It was much better than admitting that this whole Harry Potter reality was total bullshit.
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Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 10:00 pm
“Don't be daft, Hermione. She must just be on her period,” Harry whispered to Hermione as Cho suddenly snapped, and then looked extremely terrified as she considered the potential dangers of insulting a woman on the rag. Wait, She held up both hands and took a step back, “Not to say.. uh. I mean. Not to say you're not pretty. You are. You're very pretty. I just.
I.
Um, well.”
Harry sighed,. Where the hell was Ron when she needed some damn backup? She watched Hermione embrace the woman who was very clearly Cho Chang, and could not understand why this was so very sexually attractive.
Oh yeah. Put your wand right in th-
Harry snapped back to reality.
"So... Cho. I. You know.
Cedric.
Sorry again.. about that.
The whole getting him killed bit and all."
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Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 10:21 pm
Zeta Eleven could only stare in awe as an ear of corn was brandished at him. Part of him knew it was perfectly harmless, but for some reason he found himself completely unable to move as the girl yelled something in Spanish at him. It was as if he was totally paralyzed.
Which, of course, he wasn't. But after all he had seen, after all the assumptions he had made that nothing on this unbelievable island could surprise him, his brain had literally run up against something it could not comprehend. Hermione... periods... hugs? Eleven bristled at the embrace, screaming on the inside. He wanted to be back at the beach. He'd kill Alpha Ten again just to go back. He'd kill ten Alpha Tens. He didn't care, he just wanted to be let go.
"Look, I don't know who-" Shut up! Two against one. Two insane wallflowers against his sound, rational mind. Those were not good odds. Who knew what they were capable of? Hugging and mistaking him for someone they were obviously friendly with was much more preferable to having his skin flayed off and worn as an evening gown.
"Right. Cho. I'm Cho." They couldn't see his face, but he was grinning with such conviction. "I am pretty. I am very pretty. And whoever you got killed, I'm sure you had a perfectly sane reason for it."
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Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 10:34 pm
Zeta Eleven. Crookshanks. Cho Chang. Eta Hermione narrowed her eyes at the girl who Harry had dubbed his Asian lady love. She had her doubts, chief of which was her solemn knowledge that she preferred to be the only female protagonist in this power team. But if the Chosen One was choosing her, what could she do? His name was the one on all the books. He got to call the shots. She lifted the ear of corn again and tapped it against the stranger's helmet. "How do we know she hasn't taken Polyjuice?" she said, her eyebrow reaching dizzying heights on her forehead. "She could be someone awful. Like Crabbe. Or Goyle. Or Bellatrix. Or the Eye of Sauron." What? The Eye of Sauron was a Harry Potter thing, right? Hermione was pretty sure she remembered something about that. Something about Gandalf and Dumbledore being brothers or something. Or gay lovers. Something like that.
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Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2011 12:32 pm
[E-Two entering from Cornfield Boss Fight Kumbayah Flower Power]
"Y'all let me down!" E-Two was shouting (at a safe enough distance away from his teammates to feel that he was slightly more safe, when safe is y and x equals ******** for life). E-Two was frustrated-- he had been high on his bloodlust, and the world had conspired against him thusly:
1. Zombies were real and the dead never stayed dead
2. His running abilities were ********. His team preferred picking wildflowers with the other team to well. Destroying them.
He was pretty sure they had all woken up from the dream more rattled than whoever had started this whole crazy adventure had predicted, because who exactly would watch this farce of a kill zone?
He certainly wouldn't, he was pretty sure.
Ripping off a piece of corn that was just hanging around, E-Two sighed, and tried to force it in to his helmet. He was sad. He needed some quality time with fat and sugar.
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Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2011 4:07 pm
 Hermione? Polyjuice? Bellatrix? They were obviously speaking their own language, living on some plane of existence that was very, very far away from this island. And why not? Whatever make believe world they were living in had to be better than a big depressing cornfield rife with danger and murderous intent. Their world even had kittens and hugs, which... hm. Maybe it wasn't all that better after all. Still, despite Zeta Choleven's desperate, screaming desire to point out the fact that he wasn't who they thought he was and that they probably weren't who they thought they were, he realized the slightest crack in their fragile delusion could most certainly send them off the handle. It was a precarious position, but he wasn't entirely sure anyone who brandished corn as a weapon had the mental fortitude to withstand their world crashing down around them. He had to make believe along with them, or else they might cry, and he just would not know how to handle that. But... those names sounded so familiar. Surely they hadn't invented an entirely new world from whole cloth. They were adhering to... something. Choleven wracked his mind, the duo's words gathering on the tip of his tongue but refusing to go over the edge. Where had he heard those names before? Think, think, th- His head snapped up, eyes widening as a flash of light pierced the fog and cast a glow over them all. For a fleeting moment he thought it was God reaching through the sky to reveal that this was all a big joke, just some giant misunderstanding, but his lapse in sanity was quickly patched over with a realization. He clearly recalled the glint of the pendant that had been dangling from that stupid horse's neck, which was the same exact color as the light currently bursting out from the ether. His heart pounded, looking back anxiously to the pair of crazies. Could he make a break for it? Insane people probably had ridiculous reflexes. Even the slightest movement could result in one of them going straight for the jugular. The light was fleeting, fast, and his odds of surviving were plummeting right along with it. "Look, Hermione and... uh..." He hadn't gotten the Squiggly Y Three's "name," and if fortune smiled upon him, he never would. "This is funny running into you here and all, really, but I was... I was just on my way.. and.. see.." Please don't kill me please don't kill me please don't kill me.
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Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2011 4:26 pm
There was a noise in the cornstalks behind the huddled group. Eta Hermione stiffened, stabbing her ear of corn out in front of her to intimidate whoever was foolish enough to cross the Most Powerful Witch in All of Seventh Year, Class of 2000-and-forever. Whatever color her eyes were beneath the thick cover of her helmet, they were positively sparkling at the figure standing just a few feet away. One hand reached out to shove Zeta Cho hastily out of the way. "Shut up, supporting cast," she said, blowing past Cho without listening to a word she said. There was something much more important to do, pressing really. Hermione took one step into the tall cornstalks, leaning forward with both hands on her hips to get a better view of their newest visitor. It was. Could it. That corn. That swagger. That corn. It was... If there was one thing Hermione was (pretty) certain she (maybe kinda) remembered, it was how much a certain redheaded fatty loved to eat: Exhibit A: Exhibit B: Exhibit C: Here, standing before her, was the only other person she had seen trying to eat anything on this island. Therefore, using her massive brain full of logic and stuff, Hermione realized that she had once again saved everyone's life because she was totally the best and they'd all perish without her -- this time, by finding Ron. "RONALD WEASLEY!" she shouted with a mixture of anger, relief, sadness, and a zesty sprinkling of unspoken years of silent love. "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" She was talking pretty loudly.
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Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2011 8:41 pm
Zeta Eleven tensed as Eta Hermione did, positive she was going to run him through with her corn. He let out a noise - not a scream, or shriek, or anything that could be considered girlish or something other than a noise - when she put a hand on him, but was instantly relieved as she harmlessly pushed him out of the way.
Wait... what had she called him? Supporting cast? I'm sorry, what? He didn't know how things went down in the cornfields, but on the beach he was a veritable ******** plot point.
Zeta Eleven tried not to think about the fact that he was offended by the slight, and instead focused on running as far away from the two as possible... in the same direction they were headed, apparently. An effective strategy, indeed.
[Zeta Eleven is exiting Soviet Cornfield!]
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Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2011 8:41 pm
Harry Potter's Chosen One senses, which she totally had because she was the Chosen One and all, started tingling. "GUYS OVER HERE. SOMETHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN OVER HERE. NANANA." He gestured dramatically. ((Gamma Three Exiting to Children Of The Corn Event Thread!))
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Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2011 8:49 pm
Eta Hermione could not take her eyes off of Ron. A bright light shined over the stalks, blurring her vision. Curiosity wracked the girl almost as surely as her new-found adoration/annoyance for the boy who stood in front of her. "Come on, Ronald," she said, flicking her ear of corn at him.
Apparently that was all the explanation she believed he needed.
Their passionate kiss didn't happen for a while yet anyway. It was, like, right at the end. All melodramatic and stuff. This definitely was not their moment.
<< Eta IV is exiting to the Cornfields Event >>
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