Axel smiled wider hearing Zexion's response to him. This was do-able. Axel could manage to keep this together, he knew he could. He was a mess for everyone in his life for so long. He wanted to ******** be there for someone. He wanted to be that person that Zexion could actually count on to stick around through all of the shitty things that happened. Axel wanted to be that.. No, he needed to be that for Zexion, because if he couldn't be that for Zexion, then he couldn't be that for anyone. Zexion was the last person he had left in his life that believed that he could be a good person. And so at least for Zexion, he was going to do everything in his power to be that better person.
"I think it is going to be fantastic, because less flour means that it is going to be more gooey." Axel informed him happily as he finished making Zexion's piece. He topped it with probably more whip cream than pie. "There you go, love," Axel commented as he handed the pie to him and got his own piece. It might have been childish to think so, but Axel was happy. He hadn't been happy in so long, he forgot what real happiness felt like. He used to be happy in his job, in his relationships, in everything, but through all the drugs and s**t... Axel had lost his way... but with Zexion on his bed, eating pie with him.. he honestly felt happy again. And he knew that it was good that felt this way. It felt healthy.
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That night, Zexion slept with Axel in his bed, and even for the next few days. Even if Axel got home late, Zexion would just be waiting in his bed. It was actually really ******** adorable. A fact that Axel almost always immediately stated every time it happened. It probably encouraged Zexion to steal his bed more often, but Axel didn't mind. It was actually really nice to not have to sleep alone. Sleeping alone was probably one of the most miserable situations Axel found himself in. Well, other than his new work schedule.
The next few days Axel was busy with work, and they had been working him pretty hard. Today was particularly awful. It was only about 7 o'clock at night when he got off, but they were forcing Axel to pick up a lot of hours. One of the other chiefs quit, and they were putting off finding a replacement. The previous night before he hadn't made it back home until about 2am, and this morning he had to go down and start prep-work at 8am sharp. So after getting barely 5 hours of sleep, they worked him nearly 12 hours today. He thought he might actually collapse trying to walk back home. They actually wanted him to stay late again, but after nearly cutting his finger off trying to cut a carrot, they realized he was probably too tired to stay.
"..Zex, I'm home..." Axel called tiredly as he pushed open the door, and hung his coat up. He barely made it the five feet to the couch, before plopping down, leaning back, and proceeding to pass out from exhaustion. Axel needed this job, it helped him through so much, and they took him even though he was a recovering addict... but the downside was he couldn't tell them no. They could work him to ******** pieces, because they knew he had no where else to go. Today was the worst yet, but Axel knew they weren't going to hire another chief anytime soon. It was probably going to destroy Zexion, if he found out, but Axel was probably going to be doing nothing with his life but working until they hired a new chief, even with the holiday coming up. They actually told him today that they needed him to work on Thanksgiving coming up in a week, but he didn't have heart to tell Zexion, especially since Axel had planned to do a big dinner for the two of them. It wasn't like they either of them had family to go home to. He didn't want to ruin the holiday for Zexion... he would find a way to make it happen for Zexion. He had to.
Axel felt miserable, despite his determination, and not getting good sleep was causing his craving to get worst. At least when he was on the drugs, he could keep himself awake through work. He also wasn't planning on telling Zexion that his cravings were digging into him bad recently. Zexion had that a bad day with Roxas, and he couldn't put that on him. He wanted to keep Zexion hopeful that Axel could stay clean. He had to stay clean... if he didn't Zexion was going to leave him. Other than this terrible job, Zexion was all Axel had. He would give anything to keep him, even if it meant lying to him.
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Roxas ran almost constantly since the night that Zexion came over. He was wearing himself thin, and he knew that Demyx ******** knew. He was waiting for "the talk" to happen, honestly. The "Roxas you need unload some of your s**t, before you kill yourself" talk was honestly probably sooo ******** overdue. Roxas just knew it if didn't happen soon, Demyx might explode. Every time that Roxas was in the apartment now, Demyx would just stare at him. It wasn't always the same stare, but it was always those damn oceanic eyes staring deep into his tormented soul. At first it was all sympathetic stares of "you know you can talk to me, right?", but now it was devolving to more exasperated stares of "come on Roxas" or his personal favorite, "a run? again, you can't avoid me for ******** ever."
Roxas was avoiding the talk as best as he could though. Demyx would give him one of his deep stares, and Roxas would immediately bail for a run. He knew that Demyx was getting tired of his s**t, but he didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to deal with it. It still hurt too much. ********, Roxas wasn't sure if it would ever be okay to talk about. It was probably going to happen today though. Demyx had the day off from work today... so he probably had been home all day trying to just devise a plan to trap him in the apartment. Roxas tried to take his god-awful time walking home. He didn't have his running clothes on, so he couldn't just avoid the house, until Demyx felt asleep. Hell, the blonde probably would just stay up anyways.
He thought for a moment as he reached the stairs of the apartment complex, he might actually just suck it up and talk to Demyx about the fact that he was drowning and just not asking for help.... but Roxas didn't want to. He didn't want help. He didn't really want to get over it. He just wanted to continue existing. It wasn't really living, but thinking back on it, Roxas hadn't truly lived a day since he started dated Zexion... he was used to this sinking complacency. He was used to being ******** miserable, and he didn't know how do deal with any other way.
It was only a quarter passed seven, when Roxas walked through the front door. But as he hung his coat, he was avoiding looking around the room. Demyx was probably staring at him. He was looking at him with those damn eyes that could see right through to his dying soul.
