Gabriel made it home without a hitch that night. Which was good. If he had run into anyone, things might have gone bad for someone. He stood in the entrance of his den, just staring at the inside. It was so empty and cold, it was no wonder why he could never imagine Kali there. It was dirty and empty, and she needed warmth and the comforts of human life. There was nothing he could do to this place to make it live up to her standards. There was no way she could live here. And he... couldn't even see his puppies here.
His ears fell as he moved in and curled up with his back to the back wall. Puppies. He was going to be a father. Kali was going to have his pups. He worried what her master would do to her, to the puppies. How would he be able to come see them? He should be in their lives, help his beautiful Kali raise and take care of them. His father hadn't been their for him or his brothers, not even his master had been much of a father to them. And yet his older brothers had idolized their master, had done everything for him. He didn't want to be the absent father, didn't want to be the father that drove a rift between his children.
Gabriel's heart clenched.
He wasn't ready to be a father. He didn't the he ever would be. What could he give to pups besides life? His tricks? His survival skills? Kali would be a good mother. She was possessive, patient, very protective of her things, intelligent, confidant, skilled, the puppies would grow into proud dogs and bitches with her influence, he was positive. It was no wonder he loved her.
And he did, he really did love her. The thought of another male trying to have her had made him see red and the fact that he worried so much that her master would do something harsh to her when she found out the puppies were mutts. Was it wrong to worry that her master would have her fixed? It was telling, really. He wanted to have these pups with her, he wanted to have more puppies with her in the future, to stay with her for as long as he lived. Closing his eyes, he could almost see it in his mind, curled up with Kali in front of a fireplace with tiny puppies asleep nearby, and every single one of them looked like their mother. He didn't care if they looked like him, he'd love them no matter how they looked.
It hurt to think about it. He wanted this puppies, he wanted them safe and cared for, but how could he be in their lives and accomplish that as well? He had made way too many enemies in the past, he worried something would happen to his puppies if one of those enemies found them when they were still young and vulnerable. Or Kali. He would kill anyone that touched his family, but how could he protect them when he was still out here?
He knew her master wouldn't take him in. She wanted show dogs and he wasn't one of them. Even if she tried, he just wouldn't do it. He was good for breeding and keeping strangers away from the house, but not much more than that. He knew in the most common of senses, he was useless to humans. Besides, he didn't much like living with humans for too long. He didn't trust them.
Before he knew what he was doing, he was asking for someone to take care of his pups and his Kali. He wanted whatever higher power that was out there to take it easy on him, to make this the break he needed in his life. Too long had he been running from his brothers and his enemies, kept up at night drenched in rainwater, having to hunt and scavenge and steal for food or go hungry. He would never subject his puppies to that life, not until they were old enough to understand it and want to learn.
He sighed, suddenly feeling very old as he curled up even tighter. He was so tired...
