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Reply ♛ Creative Writing (Not RP)
An Exercise in Observation

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Simply Nate

PostPosted: Fri Apr 15, 2016 9:03 pm


I've been having some trouble with my existence recently. I've written this essay to demonstrate a form of observation. This is pertaining to a memory I have, the most at peace I've ever felt. I wanted to capture the world that was happening around this memory and not the personal perspective of said memory. I wanted to paint the mind of a reader. Here you are:

In muffled snaps of dry twigs and crisp crunches of forsaken leaves beneath the damp treads of a lonely teen boy’s shoes. He walked between the overgrowth of the mostly untrodden trail. Stepping around and over termite-ridden logs and horned vines that seemed to grab and tug on his bright white socks and soft pink skin. A few drops of iron-potent crimson seeped from a fresh plethora of pokes, prods, and slits like the calm stream that ran parallel to the path on which he travelled.
The sparkling black sky twinkled amongst the wet folds of the stream as it slowly cut into the earth, slithering away from the young boy as he escaped into the static abyss of new dawn between forgotten hollow trunks. The stream withered away at the damp soil effortlessly down the shallow caress of the knolly brush that painted the mountain’s fading crest. Splash! An abrupt intrusion amongst the quiet chirping of the awakening mount as a gentle, sharp furred claw, broke the surface of the liquid.
The squirrel’s onyx beads rested adjacent to each other atop the bridge of his nose catching every hint of danger along the forest floor. A tail, bright and energetic, swishing frantically as if to guide him to the nearest comfortable tree to nest for a succulent breakfast of walnut. With a quiet chitter that escaped his toothy cheeks he bounded with scratchy haste up the barked trunk of his ideal tree. Under the cover of fractured light that beamed down through cracks in the forest roof, a swift and tactical dive of wingspan left the branch void of any furred creature. The only trace of life present was the gentle float of an owl feather that carefully made its journey to rest among the tin foil leaves that laden the ground.
A swift silhouette swept along the canopy overhead as the flat-faced owl searched for a place to enjoy her breakfast. Breaking through the leaves above, revealed the alabaster sky decorated like a peeled tangerine. Beneath the orange rippled sky the owl flapped and swung her wings around the crest of the peak as she traveled the brief distance towards her perch to finish her last meal before sunrise. A fawn-colored leaf broke free from amongst her feathers as it began its descent to the ground to join the rest of its dew-scented kind in decay.
As the leaf came down it landed under the muddied tread of a young boy’s shoe at his homecoming to a lonely cabin that rested at the end of a gravel parking lot. His feet pressed the gravel down against the wet earth, some smaller stones being taken captive in the dirty soles of his shoes. He walked between small collection of vehicles to thump up steps that led to the dark snoring cabin. His hands reaching up to release two ear buds from either ear as a quiet trace of music faded into his pocket.

Thank you.
PostPosted: Fri Apr 15, 2016 10:06 pm


Thank you for sharing, it's quite the memory.

Commander Verrik
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♛ Creative Writing (Not RP)

 
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