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 Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 3:59 pm
I've been struggling with what I'd call behavioral inertia. Basically, I find it's easier to sit still and do nothing than to actually do what I need doing, even though I always feel better when I'm doing something productive.
(It's not helped by the fact that I have some physical troubles to deal with... but I never actually got around to seeing a doctor about them, either. lulz)
Kinda crazy, isn't it? I know I struggle with depression all the time, but not only do I have trouble with work and school, I haven't made any appointments to see someone for CB or medication therapy. Not that I really like the idea of medication: the last one I was on, which was supposed to be light on weight gain and sexual impotence side effects, was on the way to causing liver failure. Enjoyable, isn't it - there's no perfect pill, you just have to decide which of the patterns of side effects is the lesser of all the evils.
The craziest thing about it is that I'm so mad at myself and the world in general, but I can't bring myself to do anything about it. I can spare the energy to get worked up, but not enough to try to fix the problem.
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Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 11:42 am
I think that the psychologists call that "avolition," and I struggle with it too, sometimes. I believe that it is strongly associated with depression, so you'll have to be an advocate for yourself to get things done. You should tell people that you are having this problem, and ask them for help. If you live with someone, perhaps they can help you with your daily requirements. Perhaps you can ask your doctor for resources and services that can help you. After all, if you're not taking your meds, the problem may only feed on itself!
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Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 6:42 am
I get things done, it just takes forever.
Found out that some of this avolition may be related to the infection that's trying to eat my leg off. Here's a hint, though: unless you're literally dying of an antibiotic-resistant infection, don't let someone prescribe Levaquin to you. It's a very effective antibiotic and it has a lot of CNS side effects - like extreme mood swings and hyperstimulation. (Those are really bothersome. Others, like nausea or extremely bad gas, are just annoying.)
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