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Reply Work written between 2003 - 2006
Can't Let Go

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Does it speak to you?
  Yes . . . It does . . .
  It's just a poem! And it's lame.
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Allora Lang

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 16, 2006 8:09 pm


At first it almost seemed like a game,
But since the crash, I'm like a bird now lame,
And nothing has ever been the same.

I can only shiver when I look in his eye,
And his arm is like a snake in the rye
When he gives a hug before "goodbye."


His voice can be hurtful, though serene,
And to see him angry is a nightmare's scene.
It's worse than being treated like his queen.


He speaks of love as though I'm his bride,
As though he has claimed me in his stride.
Our relationship is now a bumpy ride.


Yet I dare not allow my feelings to show,
Or even begin to let this boy know,
Lest guilt my every emotion overthrow.

I can't let him go!


I know it's cruel, but I had to vent. Let's just hope he doesn't see it . . . eek
PostPosted: Wed Aug 09, 2006 3:53 pm


This is very interesting.
Venting Poetry --which is my style--

I am not much for rhyming,
but you did well with this piece.
And I like how you subtely shadowed it.
Keeping it with how he treats you like a queen,
then mentioning what it may seem like..
if he were angry.

very nice.
3nodding

heart ~Remy

Tak-Jak


Queeny
Captain

PostPosted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 4:20 pm


Somehow the ryhming worked in his piece. I was a bit sceptic and wanted for it to go wrong, but it didn't and it made for a good vivid and emotional read.
PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 10:31 pm


Thank you!

Allora Lang

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Work written between 2003 - 2006

 
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