aria's poems

[aria_amina]

Ok, I'm gonna post two poems. Beware however, I'm not much of a poet!  

[aria_amina]

Please put critisicm!

#1
Two souls combined
Two hearts, one heart
Are intertwined
Ne'er be apart

Love goes on
It cannot fade
A lasting bond
Forever made

An angel guides
From up above
To help us find
Our lasting love

And then, once found
We have two ways
Shall love be bound?
Or free to stay?

And if we choose
To keep love bound,
Another chance
May not be found

But if we set
Love free that day
Then you can bet
Joy leads the way

So if you choose
To free your heart,
Your life and joy
Shall seldom part

Please choose to not
Keep love apart
It knows the way
Just heed your heart




#2
I feel so bereft
Like I have no words left
I don’t know what to do
Feel like I’m failing you
Like I’m letting you down
And it’s my fault you frown
It’s a weight on my chest
Cause I’m doing my best
But I’m lost and alone
Feeling so far from home
I must stand in the rain
But I feel so much pain
Like I cannot go on
And my hope is all gone
And I search through the night
Try to find out what’s right
But no answer I get
It’s not come to me yet
So I try to help more
Cause that’s what I’m here for
Though I fault what I do
I still hope it helps you.  

[Tazzy Wolfstar]

Not much of a critic, but I like both of the poems. They show lots of feeling.  

[Amethyst Moontree]

I like the first one.

LOVED the second one. my input, post the poems without trying to convice the reader they arent very good. I feel that way too about mine.
let the readers decide if they like them or which one is better. Everyone has a different taste in poety and just cause one person likes a poem and nother one doesnt, doent make the poem bad. I like images so I write with that in mind and I like poems that do the same. Im babbling sorry...  

[aria_amina]

No problem and thanks for the advice. I'll fix it, I'm just really hard on myself when it comes to writing. Really glad you guys liked them.  

[Nina Purpleton]

May I call you Aria? I too, suffer from inferior complex. I have always thought that my stories, never mind poetry, was second rate to all those incredibly good writers in the writing forums I go to. Until I met JP and Robin here. They made me realize that I can Fan Fiction ANYTHING if I feel strongly about the subject. My writing has actually gotten better because of them. Super Bunneh Man was my thank you gift to them. ^_^

I don't usually do poetry because I have a hard time finding the rhymes. Your poems are really good. I usually write from my heart too, so all my stories are quite precious to me. ^_^  

[aria_amina]

Feel free to call me aria, I'm not too picky. I'm glad to hear you liked them, the first came to me one night and refused to go away until I wrote it down. I kinda came up with the second for a project, it appeared too. I'd like to see some of your work, I hope you post in here as well.