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 Posted: Tue Aug 21, 2007 4:09 pm
Drift
Drifting-drifting far from the shore;
Swimming so far out in the sea;
I can still make out the souls on land,
But they look like nothing from here.
It doesn't really matter because they don't even notice I'm gone,
For all they know, I'm still at the beach;
Only I know the truth behind everything that is really going on;
If only they removed their blindfolds.
Their ignorance ignites the rage inside of me,
As they speak hollow words they themselves cannot comprehend;
They only believe what they choose,
And they have morphed me into this cruel being.
That is why I escaped the shoreline,
Where everyone and everything is in sweet bliss,
Because I have known enough about bliss,
And it does nothing for me anymore.
If I drowned right now,
In this deep wild sea,
I would not mind at all
Because I have lived enough.
I am not waiting or wishing to die,
But I just know that I hold the greatest satisfaction-
The satisfaction of being content with one's life,
And accepting death without hesitation.
I do not have any unfinished business to attend to;
I do not have anything that is dire for me to experience before death;
I have seen the most intricate parts of this world,
And that is enough for my mysterious soul.
So much has changed and yet so much is still the same;
It is amusing how everything works-or does not work-out;
Life has been both cruel and kind to me,
And I have accepted both the blessings and punishments.
Forget all of my accomplishments and my mistakes;
Release my thoughts and my memories from my mind;
Drain every last emotion and substance out of me;
I want nothing to do with it.
The waters are getting rough out here,
But I am familiar to the raging tides,
Yet I must keep swimming for my own sake;
I will not drown myself.
Although that's the easiest solution when limbs start to give;
All strength will eventually weaken,
Yet I still will fight the tides,
And dismiss all thoughts of the ease of the blissful beach.
No food, no company, no nothing;
Yes, it is quite lonely out in the waters,
But I felt alone among everyone back at that shore;
So what's the big difference anyway?
It is more peaceful to me being out in the waters,
Just because the sound of waves brings about serenity;
Most people would not willingly do what I have chosen,
Yet when have I ever been like most people?
Drifted-drifted so far out that there is absolutely no sign of shore anywhere;
No signs of any life really accompany me now;
Yet I do spot something on the horizon-
It is the dark approaching storm.
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Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2007 8:04 am
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Posted: Sat Aug 25, 2007 9:10 pm
Mmmhhmm.
I like it.
Its like the feeling of a of letting go.
Welcoming death, instead of fearing.
Great job. :]
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Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 8:37 am
Feelings Kept Secret
What if I told you my feelings returned?
What if I told you I still wanted you?
What if I told you the passion has not died?
What if I told you how I really feel?
I went through some confusion between my head and heart
Everyone was telling me how to lead my life
And I left you to try and clear things up
But now I just wish I could go back in time
I needed some time alone to think
Nothing was making sense
All I know is that my heart was hurting
And nothing could numb the pain
Every attempt of mine had failed
There was still no answer found
Chaos still dominated my existence
Yet my heart was still beating
The confusion could not be kept inside
All hopes had withered to doubt
But then I finally realized what I wanted
And saw what I had to do
Finally the broken pieces were put together
My heart just needed to control itself
But I did not realize there was a price I had to pay
Because I took too long to realize everything
To everyone else’s knowledge, I was over you
But in reality, that is far from what I was
Yet you moved on to someone else
Before I had the chance to win you back
I did not want to admit it now that she was there
I had to keep pretending like nothing was wrong
Oh, how I wish I could have just told you
But I will admit I was too scared
I was scared of what you would say or do
If I admitted my heart still rested in your hands
I wish I could have had more strength
But I could not disrupt your new relationship
Sometimes I wish I had the power to change things
Things that I know are far beyond my control
But I made myself get stuck here
And somehow I befriended her
I befriended the girl who you moved on to
In the end, I know it’s my entire fault
Because I took too much time to find myself
And see the truth that was always in front of my eyes
If I only I had not come to my senses so late
Things did not have to be this way
You with her and me wishing I never let you go
It could have been avoided
If only my mind and heart had a clear view of what was in front of me
If only everyone had not tried to force me into doing what they wanted
We would have been together this whole time
And none of this terrible mess would have occurred
Yet this mistake was necessary
Because I think we both learned a lot
And although I would give anything to have you again
I am still not sure how to tell you
Your relationship is now over
And I can seize my chance now to return to us
But somehow something is keeping these chains on me
And I can’t quite reach you from here
I put these shackles on myself, don’t I?
I need to break free and speak the truth
The truth that has been hidden for so long
Oh, how I need you back in my life
Even if we only had one more day together
That one day would be all I need
Because we were left unfinished
And it’s been bothering me ever since
I just need to be in your arms, even if it’s just one last time
Even if we never do return to where we were
Don’t deny me now as you have these last months
Seal the deal with at least one more kiss
If you will not grant me anymore
Just please, one last poisonous one
To keep me satisfied
Because I can’t take much more of this
It’s like I’m watching you from inside a fish bowl
And I now have the wings to fly out
But I do not use my wings
And only stay watching
I do not think I can accept it
If you denied me again
I’m sorry it took so long
But you made the wait so much longer
But I am getting stronger
I have to fight myself eventually
To get what I’ve been dying for
Just one last taste is all I ask
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Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2007 5:44 pm
Blurbs of a Disturbed Being
Lost, confused, dying;
Trapped, tired, crying;
I don't know what to do;
I cannot make sense out of anything.
I lack motivation;
I have no inspiration;
Nothing is pushing me to do something;
So I lay here in depression.
Depression hits like an abrupt storm;
Hard; tough; devastating.
Save me!
Somebody-anybody-save me!
Save me from myself;
Save me from everything;
I cannot handle anything.
I'm as good as dead;
And right now,
Death is all I want.
This life goes in a cycle,
Like a wheel,
Except with every turn,
Things get worse and worse.
My mind is so cluttered with thoughts;
My heart is polluted with possibilities;
I can barely breathe, let alone survive.
Lost, confused, dying;
Trapped, tired, crying;
Save me!
Somebody-anybody-save me!
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Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 8:06 am
The first made me feel as I do most evrywhere when surrounded by people who dont think for themselves. Alone. But when I am alone as in no one arond I feel so calm because I enter my own mind and become my own person with out sound.
The second, I have known that feeling, And I must say you make me jealous with your writing, you convey your emotions in a story and poetic form. Very well done writing there.
Third was a little odd really but I liked it. Haha it makes me think of a few people I know and thats not that usual for me,
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Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2007 8:53 am
kingcorrupted The first made me feel as I do most evrywhere when surrounded by people who dont think for themselves. Alone. But when I am alone as in no one arond I feel so calm because I enter my own mind and become my own person with out sound. The second, I have known that feeling, And I must say you make me jealous with your writing, you convey your emotions in a story and poetic form. Very well done writing there. Third was a little odd really but I liked it. Haha it makes me think of a few people I know and thats not that usual for me, Well thanks. I'm glad you liked them. biggrin
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Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 5:57 pm
When All Else Fails
When all else fails
I got my pen & paper
To keep these hands company
And this heart won't be lonely
When all else fails
And the rain beats down
On my cold outer shell
In the midst of my hell
When all else fails
In my little world
I'm the epitamy of tragedy
And I feel so guilty
When all else fails
And wishful thinking ain't enough
I sit here alone
Waiting by the phone
When all else fails
But I'm not stupid
There is no calling
I am only falling
When all else fails
All I have is myself
There's no Cinderella ending
Dreams are eternally pending
When all else fails
I know my emotions must be put into words
So the paper can scream since I have no voice
Deep down I know this is all my choice
When all else fails
I open the door holding my thoughts
And I let them escape to this page
In all my joy and all my rage
When all else fails
In this constant confusion
And you can't make sense out of me
And you can't even ponder my insanity
When all else fails
I got this pen & paper
And I got me
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Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2007 3:42 pm
A Night Within the Thoughts of a Mad Woman
This carcass still maintains some form of life
Despite the decaying organs inside
Breath is still left
Liquefying death
And what else do you expect
From the mistress of madness
The steward of sadness
The backer of badness
I am all of this
I happen to spit vicious venom
Enclosing victims into plenums
Suffocating them till all they breathe is me
They begin to doubt their original plea
All they wished for was freedom
But I can make a conscience numb
To the point where they enjoy the pain
I ensure you that I leave you insane
Once you remove the restriction that I have on my mind
I will wrap you in an addiction of a very unique kind
Toxic tears that I shed from the sockets of my eyes
Only further entrance you along with my hypnotizing cries
To come closer to this sedated corpse
Filled with all kinds of warps
Give me an injection of affection to keep me strong
Since everything else in this world is wrong
Might as well just give me an illusion so I can think something is right
Do not let dawn approach because I refuse a farwell to the night
I must keep this balagan alive since it is a beautiful nightmare
But I can already sense the odor of morning dew in the air
I like the world underneath the stars
I forget about my vitriolic scars
Although all happiness here is synthetic
It is worthy of being poetic
Yet even synthetic happiness comes to an end
And only so long can I play this game of pretend
Till my soul returns back to beneath my flesh
And I know I have come another step closer to death
It is so rare to cast an unbreakable spell yet still be the undead
But I have the ability to cover up the wounds from which I have bled
And the mortal souls will fall and fall again
Till this story reaches its true end
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Posted: Sat Oct 06, 2007 6:26 pm
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Posted: Sat Oct 06, 2007 7:30 pm
Thanks Rei, that's kinda what I was going for. I wanted a beautiful intellectual way of expressing a depressing state that is sort of in a trance. It's pretty intense, at least I think so.
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Posted: Sat Oct 06, 2007 9:20 pm
Mysterious_0ne Thanks Rei, that's kinda what I was going for. I wanted a beautiful intellectual way of expressing a depressing state that is sort of in a trance. It's pretty intense, at least I think so. Then you got what you wanted, correct? That's what poetry is about: perfectly expressing yourself, getting what you want out of writing. It's passion. =]
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Posted: Sun Oct 07, 2007 9:03 pm
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Posted: Sun Oct 07, 2007 9:09 pm
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