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Fight/Victimize

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Which Poem Do You Like Better?
  Fight
  Victimize
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Spade6sic6

PostPosted: Tue Oct 02, 2007 5:26 pm


"Fight"

I fight for blood!
I die for hate!
I rebirth for revenge!

I cry for my own tears.
Like knives dropping to the ground.
So I can scream to the heavens.
And not make a sound.
Sell my soul to a stranger.
Incapacitate, and steal it back.
Destroy it myself.
And let my world fade to black.

I attack for sanity!
I destroy for sympathy!
I rebuild for spite!

If I die, I die alone.
I need nobody else.
It cannot be suicide.
If no one knows I fell.
Do not fret, I will arise again.
And devise another plot for death.
And I swear to curse the blasted lands.
With my first and final breath.

I kill for adversity!
I revive for publicity!
I retaliate for recognition!

I will never kill for you.
Learn to fight for yourself.
But do not try if you cannot.
Your death might come in stealth.
My deaths are slow but painful at best.
I will not compensate the loss.
My deaths come second nature.
I let my blood soak into the moss.

I fall for myself!
I die for my cause!
But I lose for nothing!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Victimize"

Let death cover me
Let things seem to be
I want your despise to see
That now, I am free

I wanna be your victim
Maybe then you’ll notice me
I wanna be your victim
Everything you couldn’t be

I want to control you
I want to console you
I want to say were through
I want what you couldn’t do

I wanna be your victim
So you’ll always torture me
I wanna be your victim
And never get bored of me

But when I try to surpass
I fall on my a**
My mind breaks like glass
And you won’t let it pass

I wanna be your victim
So you can kill me softly
I wanna be your victim
So you can pretend not to talk to me

If I become your victim
My life will be in your hands
If I become your victim
I will follow your demands

I wanna be your victim
So you can hold me on your arms as I die
I wanna be your victim
So I can watch you cry

I will hear your promising lies
Watch your empty skies
Provoke your own despise
When I become victimized
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let me know which one you all like better. plz explain why and what i can do to make them better.

these are going to be songs. i just want to get you alls opinions so i can make them as best as possible.

Thx guys.
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 2:53 pm


I bet you are playing in a metalband? ninja

I liked the second one best, dunno why really. confused
Sorry I guess I am of no big help, I am not into lyrics with violence. xp

Sylvesterine
Crew


Spade6sic6

PostPosted: Sat Oct 06, 2007 7:29 pm


lol, all good dude.
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The Showcase (non-competitive writing lives here)

 
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