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| Why do you want or deserve a Kaya and a Grunny? |
| You love animals more than they love you... |
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28% |
[ 17 ] |
| You are a Nekophile |
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8% |
[ 5 ] |
| Your hungry and to you Tigers and Bunnys taste like chicken |
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13% |
[ 8 ] |
| You're poor and they'll be on the market 5 min. after you win |
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20% |
[ 12 ] |
| None of the above, but let me explain... |
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28% |
[ 17 ] |
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| Total Votes : 59 |
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 Posted: Fri Oct 19, 2007 10:58 pm
I am Yarin Plex. The Lord RPG, being the humorous man that he is has won my life long friendship simply by being so damn funny I can't stand it. He established this in just a few minutes with a few simple quips. Humor and laughter is so important to Yarin (pardon the third person reference) So back to important stuff.
Post the reason why you want and deserve a Kaya Tiger and a Grunny Bunny. Make it short, sweet, and so damn funny that I just can't stand it and on Halloween Eve, when the clock strikes midnight I will gift the winner a Kaya Tiger and a Grunny Bunny.
1st Place - A Grunny and Kaya the Cat
2nd Place - Gwee the Dragon
3rd Place - 3000 gold
4th Place - 2000 gold
5th Place - 1000 gold
Remember, HUMOR IS THE MOST IMPORTANT and SHORT and SWEET count, too. I do not want a 40 page dissertation on Thucydides. I want some good old fashioned Laugh-Out-Loud funny stuff, that is quick and hits hard, so that when a person is reading the entries they are laughing so loud they almost pee their pants.
So that's it GO MAN GO, oh, I mean GO GAIANS GO!
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Posted: Fri Oct 19, 2007 10:59 pm
Come on now! I want some LOL stuff!!!
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Posted: Fri Oct 19, 2007 11:55 pm
Umm... none of the above. The reason I need them both is I am hoping to get Kaya to eat Grunny so that I can have a Grunny Tiger wink
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Posted: Sat Oct 20, 2007 12:24 am
Why do i want the Kaya?
Because i like tigers so much and they are so cute.
I want him so much but i can't buy him.
When i have him i am so happy!
I am then SOOO happy!
I hope i win <3
Greeting Wouter heart
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Posted: Sat Oct 20, 2007 1:26 am
WELL I THINK ITS CUTE AND I DONT HAV ENOUGH GOLD TO BUY IT sweatdrop cool cool cool
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Posted: Sat Oct 20, 2007 1:33 am
I LIKE THE TIGER NOT THAT IS VALABLE R ANYTHINGBECAUSE ITS SO CUTE AND THE MOMENT I SAW IT MY EYES R JUST ATACH TO IT
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Posted: Sat Oct 20, 2007 1:51 am
Ahhh... ok at least we have a few contestants... but remember that humor is important... and while I do find broken english amusing... not sure if it qualifies for laugh-out-loud funny... so remember your comment is your entry so keep the laughs coming... Yarin
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Posted: Sat Oct 20, 2007 3:46 am
Well, it's a long story. Or not, I might just be making this up.
It all started when I examined the dead rabbit at the side of the road. It had clearly been killed by a professional sniper, during the parade. What kind of inhuman monster could have done that, kill an evil, murderous rabbit at the height of it's career? I sat down on the nearby bench, and pulled out a hat. I examined that hat for a few moments. I kept examining the hat, until I noticed that, for some twisted reason, it was not mine. No, it was bright pink, with the words, "snuggle duck" emblazoned on the brim. I placed it back in it's pocket, which, strangely enough happened to be 9 inches smaller than the hat's own diameter. How odd. How very odd. But still, I had the murder of a homicidal rabbit to investigate, and no plot hole was going to stop me now.
I was getting hungry, and the geeks at forensics were taking an awfully long time determining the cause of death. After all, it's kinda hard to work out what killed an undead, violent, brain hungry bunny-wabbit. As my friend's daughter's nephew's uncle's cousin's girlfriend's younger brother's parrot's previous owner's child called them. By this point, I was feeling hungry, so I stopped off at McGrunnies' on the way back to the lab.
"Welcome to McGrunnies, may I take your order?" The burly bloke behind the bunny shaped counter growled at me.
"No thanks, I'd rather the cute lass in the miniskirt behind you do so." I replied.
"Cute lass? This bloke wants you to take his order."
At this point, the cute lass turned around. By god. Or any god for that matter. She was beautiful. Well, as amazingly attractive as girls working at fast-food bars selling zombified rabbit's go.
"What would you like today Sir?" The lass spoke to me. Ahh! She even SPOKE nice. Crap!
"I'd like..." I was on the verge of saying that I'd like to date her. This was arkward.
"Yes?" The lass questioned.
"I'dreallyreallyliketoknowifyouwouldgivemethepleasureoftakingyoutothemovies,posibllyfollowingwithsomeaimlesssnoggingforthesheerf***inghellofit And also a Quarter Grunny Burger with no mayo, tomato or lettuce, but extra cheese." Whew! Got away with that.
"Right, would you like the date to be a one night stand, or would you like to up-size it to something more meaningful and long lasting for an extra dollar?" Came the non-flustered reply.
"I'll up-size thanks. Can I get to a marriage stage and hunny-moon filled with lot's of aimless ...dancing afterwards by any chance?" I finished. This was going well.
"Certainly sir, your purchases comes to $20.87, thanks!" The lass, who I had now noticed was called Stacey replied. I grabbed my wallet, and flung $25 into her hand, insisting that she could "keep the change".
"Thank you sir, your order's will be ready in 5 minutes and at 8.30 this evening, do bring a pack of sweets. Next please!" The Lass/Stacey called out.
Brilliant! I now was going to sleep with an amazingly nice lass, and get a Grunny Burger. 4.36 min's later, and I was forcing a zombified rabbit down my neck. Mmm, tasty. Now, I had to get back to the lab, and check out what the boffins had found. Apart from the fact that it's very difficult and dangerous to dissect an undead bunny.
I re-arrived at the "Lab". It was hardly what you could call a "lab", but was more of a fine house that god hated, and threw a large rock at. Which, fairly obviously, was not fairly useful. I waltzed into the house, then realized I was doing a two person dance by myself. Bahs. I proceeded to walk down the steps, following the contorted screams of agony. And that was just from the parrot. Stupid mimicking git. I was tempted to shove the nearby rake through it, but decided against. After all, I had nothing to change into afterwards.
"So then, Geeks, how goes the rabbit?" I asked in a sarcastic tone.
"Dead." Replied the boffin. Clearly they had never heard of sarcasm.
"So I guessed. But what did you find out?" I snapped at them.
"It was a fan of the Grunnies. You know, the rugby team." Dear god. Not them. I remember them from a child. They had a mascot, who, well, sang ridiculously... happy songs. And held small children for photos too, but then it ate them. Well, looks like I might have to get into the rugby spirit.
(More to come soon..)
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Posted: Sat Oct 20, 2007 5:55 am
Ok then...
Firstly, what the smegging hell is a Grunny Bunny? It sounds like some s**tty mascot for some equally s**tty electronics company.
I can just imagine it now...
"No, get the hell away from me; I don't want to buy your gorram appliances! I hate this stupid Grunny store!" a rather sensible customer would say.
And then some guy in an ill-fitting rabbit costume prances into view with a stupid, smug expression on its face (which, of course, is obscurred by that overly jolly Disney- esque mask the mascot has to wear.)
"Hey, kids!" he would exclaim in a voice that would make most small children wet themselves; "I'm the Grunny Bunny!"
Some kids would, at this point (at gunpoint) emit a forced, rather feeble cheer.
The Grunny Bunny would then proceed to dance an overly-gaudy dance, and then step on something nasty and curse in words that the sweet, innocent and frankly annoying kids had not, until this point, heard.
The Grunny Bunny would then brush himself off, muttering something or other in Chinese, and then resume his little dance, now jumping around in circles, singing:
The Grunny Bunny loves YOU (although, not in a sexual way.),
The Grunny Bunny loves YOU (although, not in a sexual way.),
The Grunny Bunny loves everyone except communists and certain
religeous minorities....
Oh yeah! The Grunny Bunny LOVES YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"
The ending of the song provokes several kids to go and kick repetedly at the Grunny Bunny, until it stops singing, dancing, or otherwise do anything that the children might percieve as "gay".
The customer who was previously shopping at Grunny would then laugh at the kid's high spirits, kicks the bunny a few times him/herself, and then leave, to shop at some other electronics store with a better mascot.
So, yeah, I think I make myself fairly clear.
One question, though: what the hell is a Kaya Tiger? It sounds like...
Oh, never mind...
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Posted: Sat Oct 20, 2007 8:07 am
okay well i want grunny and kaya because i care for animals and i know with me theyll be in good hands=)plus i know back gorund info on grunny like about the g corp virus and stuffs so i think i kinda deserve it but im not tryin ta be braggy sweatdrop
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Posted: Sat Oct 20, 2007 10:42 am
Ok it looks like the Lord RPG and Travis III get it... now that being said, I do not want to award all of the prizes to those in the guild, but if no one can top those two they will certainly get the prizes. (still laughing at Travis III's Grunny Bunny's Reprise)
So read Travis III and Lord RPG's entries as they get it and those are the kind we are looking for... keep up the humor... multiple entries are accepted but only three will be chosen.
"...The Grunny Bunny loves YOU (although, not in a sexual way.),
The Grunny Bunny loves YOU (although, not in a sexual way.),
The Grunny Bunny loves everyone except communists and certain
religeous minorities...."
* laughing *
Nice, Travis, nice... * still laughing *
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Posted: Sat Oct 20, 2007 10:14 pm
Ha ha, yeah...
And SOME people say I'm not funny.
Well, I'm not, most of the time, but occasionally, very occasionally, I am capable of something that vaguely resembles humour. Well, since I am now in direct competition with Lord, I've decided to do a "Part 2" to my thing.
Here goes...
Life is like a box of chocolates.
I don't know how, or why, but it is, ok.
Now we've got that sorted, I can now introduce myself.
I'm Kaya. Kaya the tiger.
And I, just five seconds ago, was killed when a bus ran over me.
I'm dead. Yet I'm not dead? How the hell does that work out? This is a huge frigging plot-hole, here! It's gaping. Massive. How can one be dead, yet not dead? It's like I'm the guest star in the seasonal "filler" episode of some Earth-based sci-fi! Oh no, I am, aren't I?
Well, I suppose I'll be fine, just so long as this isn't an episode of-
The Negotiation Squad
EPISODE 9: FOOTWEAR IN A SEQUENTIAL ORDER
PART I
The Negotiation Squad stood at the site of the accident, and casually examined my dead body.
I, or my spirit, or whatever, was standing there, a few meters away. They were not aware of my presence. Whether that was due to the fact that I was invisible, or that all the members of the Negotiaion Squad were too much of gimboids to notice my presence, was yet to be determined.
There they were. I was somewhat Negotiation Squad-obsessed in my youth. They did, after all protect the city from the forces of moderate evil.
Yes, they were fairly incompetant, especially their gay leader, Captain James Harper, who would much rather snog an alien menace than destroy it, but they were still something to believe in.
There was also their ALSO gay stereotyped geek, poindexter, who let's face it, has no particular sexaulity at all, and merely flit's between the two. (Lord wrote that bit. - Lord.)
They were all doing an admittedly rather poor job at examining my body.
Tosh, Total Tosh, who was Asian and that pretty much was it; who was supposed to be searching my body for any injuries, was instead playing on my phone. Stupid b***h! That was my top score on "Alien Shagger 2" (Yes, this was another Lordian moment. - Lord.)!
"Hey, Tosh!" James exclaimed to the former in a loud obnoxious American accent. "What sort of pictures are on this guy's phone, then?"
"Oh, just some pictures of footwear in a sequential order. And porn." replied Tosh. "Lots of Porn."
"Ok, then," announced James. "How do we think he was killed?"
"Maybe he was shot!" said Pointdexter. "How else can one account for a death on the middle of a road, eh?"
Git. Couldn't he see the f***ing truck? (L! O! R! D! RULES! THIS GUILD! Technically. - Lord.)
The truck that had run me over had stopped; the driver of said veichle had gotten out and exclaimed that he was "So, so sorry" about my death several times, and then told everybody present, including James, Pointdexter and Tosh, that he was indeed guily of the crime that had recently been committed; and the Negotiaition Squad still couldn't quite get it.
Yep, the mystery of my death was in GREAT hands.
Yep, there'll be more...later. Frankly, I just REALLY do not* want to win this competiton.
Oh, yes, and Lord, STOP EDITING MY POSTS! NOW!
(Oh, all right then. Is this alright? - Lord.)
*Not edited by Lord RPGs.
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Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2007 8:57 pm
Ah, ok.... sometimes we need to know when we're ahead. I am not sure if I can subtract points for post facto drivel, but I will at least try. I also am not sure if I can win the contest. No, LET ME SAY THIS > I am excluded from winning, but that does not mean I can not enter and attempt some morbid attempt at what that Brit Travis calls humour blaugh Let me see, why do I deserve a Kaya and a Grunny. Why do I have them to give away in the first place?!? Why, because I understand their true VALUE. I alone realize the beauty and intrinsic goodness of both! whee
What I love most about the Grunny Bunnys is they may be the single most unique original creation ever on GAIA!!! I hate when people try to say they are some G-rated rip off of the Undead Dogs on Resident Evil. Come on people! I can give you three huge differences!
1) The virus on Resident Evil is the T-Virus, the virus that infected the Grunny's is the G-Virus confused
2) The undead infected mutants in Resident Evil are released on a virtual earth-like world, the undead infected grunnys are released on a virtual earth-like world that is even more virtual than the virtual earth-like world like the one in Resident Evil. stare
3) And the biggest difference between the two is there is no Milla Jovovich! Gratuitous shots of her stomach and tight a--, thank the Good Lord (the one upstairs, not the one downstairs on GAIA (sheesh have you seen the art work in his house!?! eek Holy Sh-t! But, please, let me not diverge *sweatdrop*) Ummm... let me see, where was I, oh yes, thank the Good Lord that you will never see that type of lowbrow, trashy, tabloid, hedonism on GAIA. How anyone is even slightly enraptured by her firm super thin comic book cuteness is a mystery. Her Gambino Outfitters Gothic Veil look in Resident Evil is something we can do without, that type of look, my friends, you will never find on the women and girls of GAIA. The grand illustrators of this cultured site know better and have much higher standards! THANK GOD!
xp xp xp
And let's not forget the solemn Kaya
I would just like to give a profound sincere thanks to Lanzer for only charging me $25, plus a trip to the elite Target Store chain, for an item that is clearly worth far more money and a trip requiring far more hardship and humility. I mean, lets face it, I would have gladly crossed burning quicksand or even went to a Wal-mart, if it meant gettin' a KAYA! Their plummeting "buy it now price" shows the lasting value of such a prized item! Going from seven million gold to 52K in 72 hours shows what kind of solid well-thought-out investment you're truly getting yourself into. burning_eyes
Hats off to the creators of Grunny and Kaya for their originality and continued commitment to excelsior! Much Kudos, you guys (and gals) for you are truly amazing, hopefully we all can aspire toward the greatness of thee-all, please, do not let mine wings melt as your miserable denizen approaches thy brightness...
I am so unworthy... crying
Nuff Said.. rolleyes
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Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2007 10:46 pm
lol brovo yarin brovo=)i soppose thats your thing(hosting item events) guild admin?am i correct?well i soppose you could say i host festival events=)the capt. said he would RLY liketa look into my new festival idea...
but you nvr know with that guy do ya lol(jk)anyway if he does post about the festival plz comment to the forum about it so that youll get gold,
wichll make you happy,wichll make us happy,and then hoppfully youll donate that gold to our guild=)well brovo once again yarin and kudos but i
think none of us have time at the moment to read your LONG
*coughs(boring)cough* speeches...well look forward to the festival=)
your crew member(or guild admin w/e)
-kaze-
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Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2007 11:34 pm
Okay, I don't care if I'm disqualified from the competition, shot, or whatever else; I'm finishing this damn story and no-one is going to stop me! Unless they remove this post!
Suddenly, I was in the number one place I've always wanted to be.
Namely, the Negotiation Squad SUV.
Actually, Tosh's bed was the number one place, but this was a close second.
I even didn't care about the fact that it wasn't actually an SUV, that it looked like a Ford Model T in comparison, or that I had to sit in Tosh's lap on the way. (Actually, I didn't mind that at all).
After the poorly conducted investigation of my death, I, still invisible, decided to stalk the Negotiation Squad home.
Realising they had a car, I just decided to hop in with them.
The best bit about the whole thing was, they, we, were headed back to the Negotiation Squad headquaters.
According to rumours, this was really just Tosh's flat, which was shared with three men.
I could hardly wait!
Wait, I'm a bit ahead of myself here. Every story, except for that post-modern crap that keeps on traveling through time, has a beginning.
Well, here's a flashback of some sort, that has little reference to the overall plot...
PART II
I was excited. Very excited. I was at one of those school math competition thingies. You know, the one where various students have to answer maths-related questions, in direct competition with students from other schools?
Yeah, one of those.
Well, anyway, my school and the opponent were tied, with one question left each. It was my turn. I was practically wetting myself, but I'm a tiger, and I don't wear any clothes so, you know, the urine would have sprayed over the floor if I had.
Dad had taken a day off work to see me in the competition. His worst excuse to get a day off work yet.
The judge guy asked me: What is the exact value of pi?
Wait, what the hell?
"Um...4 point...something..?" I asked. The exact value of pi? Where the hell were we? England?
Wrong.
Damn.
Dad got really mad at this stage, left the school in a fit of rage, and then got shot by a random sniper.
The question my opponent was asked was "What is two plus two?"
After some serious conversation with his team mates, my opponent came up with the answer of "3.835733473424943753957334357375"
That was close enough, apparently.
I got mad at this stage. Very mad. Being a tiger; having very little ability to restrain my emotions, I sort of...y'know...mauled my opponent to death.
Everyone was mad at me for losing the final. One or two people were also fairly upset at me for killing that guy.
As a consolation prize, my science teacher gave me what he claimed was an alien eye, which he had apparently found on some golf course or something.
What an insult to my intelligence! I later sold the eye for $15005.50 on ebay.
So that, pretty much, was where my life started going to s**t.
"We're here!" proclaimed James, and indeed we were; we had arrived at the Negotiation Squad secret headquaters. "Hot Damn!" he added as an afterthought.
And indeed we were. We all hopped out. I really did wet myself this time.
Luckily, no one could see my pee.
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