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 Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 3:46 pm
Dulled oceanic irises were focused on the sky as the winged mare meandered across the barren hillsides that were browning in the change of seasons, her melancholy demeanor resuming its hold on her as a soft tune arose from her lips, carried away by the wind.
"The world seems not the same...
though I know nothing has changed.
It's all my state of mind,
I can't leave it all behind..."
It had been a long time since she'd wondered about the whereabouts of the sire of her foals... one night, she reminded herself, and it was a mistake. She'd never seen him again after that, and wasn't sure she ever wanted to again, with how things had been going. She didn't care, she reminded herself. She was better off without him.
Nodding once to herself in her resolution, she continued on her way, the soft, haunting melody carried forth by the breeze.
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Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 4:02 pm
 It was a rare thing too, that Troilus would be on the move...doggedly setting one foot in front of the other in search of a warmer, more grassy place to settle for the next few days. In winter, he was forced to get considerably more exercise than he did during the warmer months of summer...thus why he wasn't overfond of the change of weather.
Suddenly, he became aware of another Soquili in the vicinity, and he raised his head sniffing at the air, baby blue eyes that had beguiled many a mare landed on the grey-coated mare, and he found himself affected by mixed emotions, an odd sensation for the lazy flutter.
This was the mother of his only children, the lovely winged female who had captured his attention one night not so long ago. He had not thought to see her again...but now that he had noticed her, he was obliged to say something, to do otherwise would be grossly impolite.
Ah...now...what was her name? Oh that's right. "Sukari..." His low, oft-seductive voice rumbled from his chest in a near-caress of her name.
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Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 5:07 pm
The notes of her soft song were abruptly silenced as a masculine voice broke through the haze of her music-induced trance, icy cerulean hues instantly snapping open wide to settle upon the very object of her thoughts. It seemed he had not changed much, except for the possibility of becoming even more haggard than he was before... if that was even possible.
"Troilus..." she answered unsurely, azure hues softening into a look that she had not worn for a very long time. After a moment, though, she straightened, reminding herself that she was Sukari, she cared for no one but her children, and especially not for this stallion who had neglected to find her after impregnating her, and leaving her to raise her son alone. He hadn't been a part of Sorai's life either, from what her daughter had told her...
Still... there was a part of her that was glad to see him... it led her to believe that perhaps, on some small level, she had even missed him. It was because of that- and only because of that, she reminded herself- that she didn't immediately jump into anger upon seeing him. Instead, she offered a respectful nod, unable to completely hide the chaotic emotions swirling within her blue eyes.
"How... have you been?"
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Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 6:12 pm
In Troilus' defense, he had been unaware that he had even sired children, until one day Sorai had appeared, and her striking resemblence to both parents left him with no choice but to accept that she, indeed, was his daughter. He knew now that there was a stallion of his lineage as well, one who bore his markings...those that had been evident on Troilus' own sire. Kureno was probably a far better representation of his grandfather...than Troilus had ever thought to be.
It was wistful, that thought...but Troilus himself had been raised by his mother, a mare with no ambition whatsoever...and thus, Troilus had followed her example.
He was edgy now, not sure how she felt about him, as he'd rather unwittingly left her in quite a predicament. "I...have been well, all things considered, and you, m'lady?" There was a soft tone of respect in his voice. Troilus, a scoundrel though he might be, did indeed have a sense of honor, and he felt that in his treatment of her, he had violated it.
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Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 6:27 pm
"All right, I suppose... discounting a few things here and there. I met your... our daughter a short while ago... you can imagine my surprise in discovering my near twin coincidentally." A ghost of a smile flickered across her features, but it was gone in an instant, replaced by a somber expression.
However angry at him she might have been for his absence in Kureno's early life, she didn't condemn him for not staying with her... despite her rather pessimistic view on love, she would have rather he not stayed simply out of obligation. If he were to stay, she'd prefer it would be out of love- for his children, at the very least, if not for her.
Shaking her head to clear it of the foolish thoughts, she let a soft sigh escape from her lungs, letting her eyes slide closed in contemplative thought. She couldn't be angry with him, as much as she wanted to. If he had been anything of a father like she had been a mother, perhaps it would have been better for their foals to grow up with no parents at all.
Opening oceanic hues again to look upon his haggard form, she offered a small, uncomfortable smile. "It's... nice... to see you again."
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Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 6:45 pm
Troilus smiled easily at that, oh yes...he was very fond of Sorai, a calm, laid-back sort of mare, though not half so lazy as her father. She had inspired him to be...somewhat more active than he had used to be, as he had had to keep an eye on her when she had been a young filly...and that required following her about on her exploits. A tiresome business that.
"She's a good girl...and has grown up to be just as lovely as her mother." A flattering compliment, but he meant it.
"It is...nice..." he agreed, his voice just loud enough to be heard by the two of them. Tattered wings fluttered once, and he whickered softly, heaving a great sigh and mentally bracing himself for what he felt that he should do...needed to do. "I think I owe you an apology, Sukari." Swallowing his pride, Troilus had to admit that he had done her a great wrong...she was a fine mare, albeit not the most open of beings, but that was not a fault, merely a character trait.
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Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 7:21 pm
She noted the fond smile with a soft smile of her own, glad to see that he held a certain pride in his children... even if it wasn't love. She couldn't say anything for him, but she did love her son, even if he was a painful reminder of something she would have preferred to leave behind.
A small, but genuine and grateful smile adorned silver and black features at his compliment. "And Kureno has grown up to be as handsome and strong as his father. I'm sure he'd like to meet you someday..." that was a half-truth. While she knew Kureno was curious about his father, she wasn't sure how well he'd take his sire's absence from their lives.
His next admission took her by surprise, starting slightly as her gaze softened once again. She hadn't been expecting an apology, but it definitely said something about his integrity for him to give one anyway.
"You are forgiven... I can understand why you did what you did, in any case," she admitted softly, lifting her head to meet his eyes once more. "Who knows... had I been in your place, I might have done the same thing. Heaven knows I haven't been the best mother in the world."
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Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 7:47 pm
He did love his children...or at least his daughter, whom he knew...for Troilus was a being entirely capable of love. His mother had loved him, though she had not been the most caring of parents, she had communicated her affection to her son, despite the fact she had let him do precisely as he pleased.
"I would like to meet him as well." he confirmed, ears flicking towards her, "I have heard he has grown into quite a fine stallion." A shame he could not have met him before...
Troilus ducked his head, "Had I known...before Sorai came to me...that you had become mother to my children, then I would have come and been a proper father...and done as I should, instead I fear I have slighted you...and no matter the fact that we did not intend this, whether I planned it or no, we now have created a family between us, though I fear it seems to be in pieces now." There was a sadness to his demeanor, as though he wished that he could go back over and do it differently.
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Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 8:31 pm
She nodded her agreement, ears flicking backward as a melancholic expression overtook her features once more. "It does seem to have fallen apart... not that it was ever whole to begin with." She paused again, a soft sigh heaving from her lungs as she shifted her weight.
"I don't blame you. No one is at fault, here... perhaps it would have been better if the mistakes hadn't been made, but I don't regret having your foals. And..." she hesitated a moment, here, looking off to one side, "as dark as my view on love is, I wouldn't want you to stay simply out of obligation. I want to find someone who would love me one day, not out of filial duty or guilt, but simply for me."
She stopped after a moment, shuffling her hooves in a sudden bout of embarassment. She wasn't used to sharing her feelings, and she had never openly admitted that she wanted to be loved one day.
"Anyway... we could arrange for the whole family to meet sometime... I'm sure Kureno and Sorai would appreciate that." She offered another smile, although it was a bit more unsure than before.
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Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 8:48 pm
Troilus found that he had to consider this for a few moments, pondering, head bowed in deep concentration...and it was several minutes before he spoke, and it seemed that there was something not unlike a weight lifting off of his shoulders.
"Sukari..." He seemed enamored of using her name to call attention to his words, for it did roll so nicely off the tongue. "I understand that you might feel that way...there are very few, especially not of our sort, that desire to spend their lives unloved. I really wouldn't mind someone feeling that way about me either."
Shuffling his hooves a bit, wings fluttering in a bout of nervousness, the flutter shook his head, "Seeing our children once in a while...would indeed be a nice thing, but, let me be honest with you. I don't feel that that is enough...they spent enough time separated from one or the other of us, their parents in separate places. And to be frank, I like you, Sukari...you are intelligent, definitely not air-headed like many mares I have known in the past, and you aren't particularly offended or intimidated by me either."
Extending a foreleg, Troilus took a slow bow, looking up at her from as close to a kneeling position as a horse could get, "I would be honored, if you would consider letting me see you again...and truly get to know you...perhaps there might be a chance to put our little family together."
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Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 9:14 pm
A smile brighter than the ones she'd worn previously graced her dark features as his words, even as his words touched the cold place in her chest that had once been her heart. It had been a long time since anyone had approached her like this, with kind words and the simple desire of her companionship, and it was a thouroughly pleasant change from the dark and hostile environment that she constantly seemed to place herself in.
Her pleasure at his compliments abruptly turned to shock, however, as he lowered himself onto one knee and asked a question that she'd never expected to hear from any stallion's mouth, much less his. His inquiry touched something in her that she'd not felt in a very long time, and she couldn't prevent the smile that grew on her maw as she offered a nod.
"I would like that, Troilus, very much."
It wasn't what she hoped to express of her gratitude and happiness, but it was the best she could manage. Perhaps she wouldn't spend the rest of her life as alone as she'd always anticipated she would.
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Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 10:53 pm
Slowly then, did he straighten, as the effort was more than his usual, bar getting up or down, and he tossed his head to get unruly hair out of baby blue eyes. He had a smile on his face to match her own, and his wings fluttered in an expression of spontaneous pleasure.
"Then how do you feel about meeting here for a walk tomorrow? And then perhaps we can discuss getting the family together?" So that everyone might meet, that Sorai could get to know her brother...and better know her mother...and so that Troilus might become acquainted with his son.
It had been years since the unkempt male had paid so very much attention to any female...had had a prolonged interest in one for that matter. There had been a couple during his youth...lovely mares who had held his eye for weeks on end. But they had left him for more interesting males...more ambitious stallions with loftier goals in life.
In Troilus' opinion...raising a family and courting a female, perhaps a mate, were all the work he wanted to take on.
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Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 11:16 pm
It seemed that the smile on her face would never go away... but at that moment, she couldn't honestly say that she cared. For now, consequences bedamned, she was happy, even having exposed herself more to this stallion than any other.
"That sounds lovely." Her adversity to social activities didn't apply in this case- Kureno and Sorai were her children, and Troilus... she wasn't sure what he was to her at this point, but she could safely say that his presence was something close to enjoyable.
Was this wise? Her conscience warned her of the dangers of this sort of thing... opening yourself up like she had left her vulnerable to getting hurt... but for the moment... it seemed like it was worth the risk. The idea of not having to spend her life alone with her burdens made the world seem just a little bit brighter, however corny or cliche that might sound.
"Just make sure you don't oversleep and miss it." She couldn't resist a little prod at his laziness, but the teasing grin adorning her maw took the bite out of her words.
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Posted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 4:47 pm
Troilus could not but help a laugh, a delighted, warm sort of sound. He was quickly finding that he adored her, this mare...oft-reserved though she might be. She understood him...somehow...or at least knew what he was, and yet at the same time, she accepted that. It was a refreshing change...that she hadn't instantly tried to change his ways, just encouraged him not to let those habits affect the important things.
For this was indeed important. To have a purpose again was an odd sensation. His eyes were half-lidded now, sleepy, almost drowsy, but he blinked the feeling away, knowing that it had come out of habit once more. Inclining his head to her, his ears swiveled forward.
"So, would you like to go for a short stroll now? I would like to get to know more about you...a conversation with just you and I, Sukari." For later the children would be there, it would surely be more noisy than it was now, and there was a comfortable atmosphere now...just perfect.
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Posted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 6:25 pm
Her smile brightened with the sound of his laughter, odd though it might have been- it was a little awkward and very unfamiliar territory, but she found that she wouldn't have changed it for the world. It was a strange feeling, being wanted for her company... the fact that he knew of her aloof and distant nature and was still attempting to form a bond between them was baffling, but not at all unwelcome.
What would it be like, to have someone who would stay by her side, help her shoulder all her burdens? She was getting a bit ahead of herself, she knew, but she couldn't help but wonder, and the thought of such made a light feeling bloom in her heart.
"I would love to," she nodded her agreement to his suggestion, and although she was a bit nervous at the prospect of sharing any of herself with anyone, she knew that he wouldn't judge, and it made the idea seem a bit less frightening. "I'm not sure where to start, though..." She turned towards the dirt path that she had been wandering down before, waiting for him to reach her side before starting a slow trek across the open field.
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