Is it love? | Page 1 | Life Issues/Advice | Guild Forums

[Lacrimosa]

Offline

Posted: Sat May 10, 2008 1:23 am

Rawr!♥;;

I know this is something you generally go with gut instict on, but my gut instict has never failed to fail me. So...yeah.
Now, let me start by saying that I am a homosexual. Blah-blah-blah. For anyone who deosn't know..I dunno. Thought I should clear it.
ANyways, I have this really good friend. When we first met and stuff we instantly hit it off because we are both so wacko. ^^ My friend is like everything to me. SHe is my only friend in real life. =/ Kinda sad, I know. XDBut seriously, she is all the friend I need. And a long while back, I was almost positive I was in love with her. And I told her, and we kinda 'dated', per se, for a very small bit. But it was kinda akward and I felt funny, so we went back to being friends. All is well. Later she told me she was only interested in guys, which I was cool with, of course. And all this time, I thought back on our 'thing' and felt really, kind of ashamed. =/ Like, I had done something really wrong. Then I came out to my mother{didn't mention my thing with my friend} and she was fine with it, and then I looked back and suddenly, did not feel ashamed of it. I guess because my mother approved of the 'alernate lifestyle'. Ya know? All about mother's approval.
Well, we were chatting and I don't remember how it came around but she mentioned she was bi. And I felt really kinda happy. Like, part of me was happy for some reason. And then she jokingly{I think} said she would date me when she starts to date{She has set that aside till later} and I, again, felt really happy. I couldn't explain it.
And I started wondering if I am in love with her. I would do absolutely anything for her. I mean, I love her. I'm just not sure in THAT way, but I mean, she is everything to me, ya know? She means alot to me. Like, alot-alot. And I don't know what to do. I mean, am I inlove? Or do I just like her alot? I don't know. >.> I know you can't tell me FOR REALS but..like...I dunno.. xD

Lady Taco;;
Queen of the Uber Dorks

Posted: Sat May 10, 2008 4:25 pm

It can sometimes be very difficult to distinguish between platonic and romantic love, and obviously I can't really tell you which it is that you feel for your friend.

My best advice is really just to let things take their own course. If there is mutual romantic attraction between you, then perhaps the friendship will evolve into more of a romantic relationship. If not, well, then you still have a great friend.

A word of caution, though: it can be a little dangerous to date a close friend, simply because if the relationship turns sour and ends badly, you may very well lose your friend as well as your romantic partner. Not that it's something that always happens or anything, but it is a risk to be aware of.

SinfulGuillotine
Captain

Perfect Trash

Offline

[Lacrimosa]

Offline

Posted: Sat May 10, 2008 5:29 pm

Rawr!♥;;

Yeah. I shall try to sit back. ^^ SHe is such a good friend, I can live with that.
That is one of the main reasons I am kinda scared of allowing myself to offically think that. I'm afraid I'll get carried away, mess up, then lose her.
Althought she is pretty rational when it comes to people. Like, she generally forgives everyone within like, a month. Still, kinda freaked. xD
Thank ou for your insight,

Lady Taco;;
Queen of the Uber Dorks

Posted: Sat May 10, 2008 8:19 pm

It's just that for whatever reason, emotions tend to get heightened in romantic relationships. I let my good friends get away with things that I would never let my partner get away with. And now that I'm actually thinking about it, I'm not quite sure why people generally hold romantic partners to higher standards of behaviour than they do their close friends. *shrug* Oh well. Just something to be aware of.

Another thing to be aware of is that it sounds like your friend may still be discovering the ins and outs of her own sexuality (what with dating you, then saying she only likes males, and now saying that she's bisexual). It's completely normal and many people go through it, but being romantically involved with someone who is unsure of their sexuality can lead to a lot of hurt. And it can also work out just fine, but it's just another thing to be aware of.

I don't want to sound like I'm trying to discourage you from exploring the possibility of being in a romantic relationship with your friend, and it sounds like the two of you really care about each other. I think that if your relationship with her takes a romantic turn, you should go with it. I'm just trying to point out some possible pitfalls that I think it's good to keep in the back of your mind.

SinfulGuillotine
Captain

Perfect Trash

Offline

[Lacrimosa]

Offline

Posted: Sat May 10, 2008 9:29 pm

Rawr!♥;;

I very much appericate you pointing out these things. They tend to slip my mind, since I'm just a silly teenager. xD But I shall definetly remember them.
Yeah, she does. I think she's figured it out though. Before it was really only a 'curoius' thing. At least, that's what she said. The 'dating' before was a trail basis type thing, ya know what I mean? It lasted not long at all, like I said before, so yeah.
Oh we do, very much. People have asked if we were dtaing because of the way we act towards each other. And we kinda get a kick out of it. XD
And I shall go with it. ^^

Lady Taco;;
Queen of the Uber Dorks

Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 8:25 pm

Your situation actually sounds really similar to how I've been feeling about one of my friends. I'm straight and he's a guy, but he is basically my closest friend and we're known each other for a few years now. (I made the thread "Motya" about him). So I know what you mean about being confused as to whether you love someone as a friend or also romantically. For myself, I really don't know if I'm "in love", but I've decided that it doesn't really matter. Either way, I love him, and either way I just want to be the best friend I can to him. More than anything, I know that I'd rather be "just friends" despite my feelings, than try to rush things or pressure him into a relationship that could be harmful to us as friends. I guess my advice to you would be the same: be a good friend to her, as you already are, and keep her best interest in mind. At times like these, that's all a loving friend can do. :-/

Rosa Quietus
Crew

Offline

[Lacrimosa]

Offline

Posted: Wed May 21, 2008 3:26 pm

Rawr!♥;;

Ah, well. A new update. My friend has decided she wants to date her old boyfriend. Who she broke up with twice. I, personally, do not approve of him for multiple reasons. He did something rather creepy the first time they dated. And it scared the Hell out of both of us and was the reason she broke up with him in the first place. Then...I can't quite remember the second time. And now she is back with him.
I mean, I really...really...and I mean really...do not like him. Not only because he is a dude{No offence, gents. There's a few men I like as friends. XD} but because he was creepy before.
And then there's the whole, my liking her thing. XD
And I'm not saying i'm better for her than him, but she is a really awesome girl and can like, do better than him. Seriously.
I mean, he might have changed, but....guys{Hell, girls} that are teenagers, don't GENERALLY change. =/
Like...yeah.
So now I'm even more confused as to what I am supposed todo. Every time she says something about him, I feel like I've been punched in the stomach or something.
=/ Maybe that's a bit of an exsageration, but it does hurt. Like, physically pains me, when she says something about him.
=/ I dunno what i'm supposed to do.
>.>;

Lady Taco;;
Queen of the Uber Dorks

Posted: Sat Jul 23, 2011 8:41 am

i know this topic is probably really old by now, but how are you doing?

benakittie

Professional Lunatic

9,650 Points

100
100
100

Offline

Welcome to Gaia! ::

Gaia Guilds

On This Rock - A Catholic Guild

Quick Reply

More Information