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Rogue's writing

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roguethe


Powerhungry Tycoon

PostPosted: Sat May 10, 2008 11:03 am


"The Young King Speaks"
The Most Beautiful Rose

Her hair hit long past her waist, Ending in ringlets at hip length.
It waved and twisted between thick locks of caramel. A waterfall across red dusted rocks.
This hair of her's burned in glory of all it's warm colors, dancing in the sunlight and reflecting the beauty of a bright Summers day.
And in Winter? Oh! How little I know can preserve it's fire in the midst of natures icy breath.
This simple feature of hers would melt more then snow.
How easily I felt the burn.
And Her eyes, So gold they'd succumb any man to greed.
At one time their burning ambition frightened me.
They'd put a Halo to shame as they truely challenged the Gods themselves.
Now, Their luster has since worn away...
A Fools Gold..How Hopeful I am as I do my best to polish them with this old tattered rag, all in vain..
What I'd give to see them burn again, even if I must be the God she wishes to burn myself.
Yes! I will be God! And with these hands of mine I'll make her live again!
Be it to stand by my side or simply silence my words.
I'll hear her Heart
I'll see her hair sway in it's most violent of ways...
I'll look down upon her burning eyes...
The burn of Passion; Passion in War, Passion in love.
What difference does it make?
From that Bitter Sweet, Intensley Cruel but Innocent Heart...They all feel the same.
To taste the sweet nectar of emotions, Their is no unfair price.
So be it if I must fly through the flames to reach her flower.
Burn My wings and disgrace me across the floor.
I'll simply hold her essence in my own pitiful glee as I crawl through this dirt.
Hmph...It all sounds quite Gallant, Ne? These words of mine...
Ofourse, That's what they've always been.
Heroic and fanciful words from this young obnoxious tongue.
I wonder...Might you be my Queen?
After you scortch me in all your sad and twisted beauty?
How I'd embrace you in these burnt and broken arms.
If you don't mind the filth, I do beleive I could accomidate all your needs!

No...These words have over come even me my fair maiden.
Remain the Queen of my Dreams.
Perhaps, Someday, I'll help you bathe the roses red.
Until then my dear, Fool the men with your fake Gold.



Okay, If you've gotten to this part, thanks for reading! ^^
So This is a part of the story I'm writting called The Most Beautiful Rose.
It's a fiction, And this excerpt is probabally closest in explanation to a Soliloquy or something.
The Character speaking here is Rhazioe. His name is a play on the Angel of knowledge and God' secrets, Raziel.
Rhazioe is pretty heroic and gallant, but at the same time he can be quite naieve. I like him though, and over all based on my friends comments, he seems to be the favorite XD; So I wanted to share this and possibly get some comments.
I know there are plenty of areas that need revising, But I hope you like it for what it's worth, even if it doesnt quite explain itself.
Maybe I'll get around to typing out the first chapter of the story so it makes more sense, who knows. XD
PostPosted: Sat May 10, 2008 12:36 pm


WOW There are some amazing descriptions in that little exerpt. Not sure if it's down my lane, but the descriptions were breath takeing.

Willhellm
Captain



roguethe


Powerhungry Tycoon

PostPosted: Sat May 10, 2008 1:39 pm


Thanks ^^ I do tend to play with words a bit in creative writing, Heh.
Probabally thanks to Role Plays.
PostPosted: Sat May 10, 2008 7:56 pm


Yeah, that might have a hand in it.
They never hurt to do anyway as a writer....

Willhellm
Captain


Eleiza0250

Shy Genius

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 11:25 am


I really like that, and the imagery is so amazing. I just have one critique: use proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation! If its supposed to have mispelled words, I apologize, especially as it reads like poetry, falling so gracefully from your pen into our minds.
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